To lock the jackass in (parking thread)

[BlueEyesWhiteDragon]

I live in a rural location which is very popular with walkers / bikers / horse riders etc. It's heaving today for some unknown reason as the weather is rubbish!

We have 2 driveways. One which was with the original cottage then a small bit of garden then a second which leads to the additional land we have. The second driveway the forestry commission have a ROW over as the track continues up into the forest. Next to that driveway is a footpath. Both driveways have gates at either end and both say private property/dogs running loose. (Diagram attached - not to scale!)

I have just had a straw delivery and so opened the second driveway gates to let the farmer in and trundled round the back to show him where to put them. He's unloaded and driven off and I've gone to lock the gates back up. Literally as he's driven off and I'm walking down a guy has pulled in the gates and parked up and 3 kids have jumped out and he started unloading their bikes.

I politely ask him to move as he's on private land and he says there are no signs he thought it was a parking spot. I say they are on the gate and it's clearly an enclosed piece of land that is not a parking space and he says he couldn't see them as the gates were open but he'll only be a few minutes. No problem, I say, I'll pop back and shut the gates in 5. Off I toddle.

I have returned and his car is still there and he has gone. He has left a note on the windscreen which says "had to park here no other spaces". I mean WTF?!

WIBU to shut the gates, padlock the fucker in, block the gates with my truck AND then disappear for at least 48 hours?

@nonetcurtains

I think CF and kids had a nice bike ride this morning, came back to find blocked in car, so went for a carvery / drinks / toilet, then finding the car still blocked have gone for a second lovely ride in the countryside.

I think, due to the obvious picnic, that they were out for the day, and the only issue has been wondering how to get to the picnic. Soon solved by kid climbing over the gate. They're not sitting anywhere or wondering anything, just enjoying a day out with secure parking!

They got their bikes, they could always cycle home or to a restaurant or the cinema.

If the stupid man refuses to knock on your door and apologise and ask for you to unlock the gate, I’d leave it as clearly he had a full day planned and doesn’t want access to his car.

When they knock, you need to charge them for the lovely secure parking they’ve benefited from all day

@BlueEyesWhiteDragon I would definitely leave a note on the car though, restating that he is parked illegally, on private property, was told this in person, yet still decided to leave his car. He said he would be 5minutes - you can point out he did not keep to his word, and that it’s essential you are able to secure your property.
He must contact you when he intends to remove his car. Tell him to call at the house, or leave your number (if you wish - or DBs). You will take details of his car and he must not stop or park on your property again. (I don’t know what sanctions you are allowed to apply, if he does, apart from him being inconvenienced by getting himself locked in).

Then carry on with your day as normal. Don’t break your self-care (diet) because of this jerk x

You should not feel guilty. He has options for his children.

1. swallow his man-ness and deal with it like a decent human being and knock on your door.
2. call a cab company to collect his children. Then his children won’t have to see the big manly man reduced to knocking on your door.
3. call his wife and ask her to come get the kids/deal with the “loony woman”. I mean it’s not difficult to be a rational, sensible person.

And clearly you must charge him per hour for taking advantage of the very expensive secure parking you are now operating, apparently.

Good lord. Why have you drawn a parade of penises?

Some people are astonishing in their level
Of cheek!

Can I offer some Mumsnet support? What you want to happen can happen.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/mumsnet_classics/3278894-my-first-parking-thread?pg=40

He is not just trespassing, OP. He is blocking your access as well. I would be probably be more annoyed at that. What if your hay delivery was due now? What if the Forestry Commission needed to get access to the forest for an emergency? This could have caused serious inconvenience or worse. I would tell him that he has trespassed and blocked your access which is completely unacceptable. Hopefully he may grovel, but he may be the other type. Stand firm OP.

@BlueEyesWhiteDragon

I'm just feeling a bit sorry for his poor kids and am tempted to just open the gates. They must either be knackered or indeed elite athletes. I suppose they could have gone to the illegal bike jump bit and just be hanging around there rather than continuously cycling round the forest but even so ....

I'm rubbish at estimating ages so the kids could be anything between 8 and late teens but still not any id want trapped outside if the weather turns because they can't get home.

Currently it's dry but quite blustery and there is some spectacular dark clouds hovering overhead.

@Resilience would it be the rural crime team that they sent out (who usually covers us with patrols) or some random one from the nearest station? Id be less worried about the rural team coming as I know them but id be a bit worried about a random one.

The solution is go out in my truck and if the police are called point out I couldn't leave it unlocked as have no way to know when / if he moved and would leave it unsecured and invalidate my insurance. What's on at the cinema 🤔

I wouldn’t.

This guy is the one who CHOOSE to park on private land.
He is also the one who prefers to ditter and hope the gates will magically open wo having to talk to you and get a bollocking.

If his dcs are struggling it’s all on him.

Having said my dcs would have gone all day wo batting an eye lid. So they might well be enjoying themselves!

OP's might have been subconsciously influenced by the CF behaving like a dick.

[quote TheSandgroper]Can I offer some Mumsnet support? What you want to happen can happen.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/mumsnet_classics/3278894-my-first-parking-thread?pg=40[/quote]
I hope this thread is awesome @TheSandgroper just heading to read it now. 🍿

You must NOT unlock the gates at any point prior to him knocking on the door to ask you to release him.

You've had them locked all this time to maintain the validity of your insurance, so you must continue to do this until the point at which you can watch him leave and then re-lock the gates immediately after he has gone. Unlocking them now would completely weaken your position (to say nothing of your insurance!)

I would also keep working on your "people pleasing" side - he is 100% in the wrong here and you are absolutely not obliged to be remotely apologetic or sympathetic to his plight. Don't be sweet either - be coldly civil and perhaps go to the stern schoolmarm levels of "let this be a lesson to you!" style of thing, if you can.

This was in response to this question,

Good lord. Why have you drawn a parade of penises

Not a people pleaser me. And heavily into revenge.

On wednesday my vile NDNs (who have played many dirty tricks on me) needed my help. But oh dear, I did not hear the door when their workman knocked.

Instead I sat their watching them on my tablet. Enjoying the feeling of power and the fact that their little "problem" was costing them ££££

@HyacynthBucket Very good point! Has he blocked the access you are legally obliged to keep clear for FC and emergency vehicles? Could he not be fined for that?
That happens around Thetford forest too - people parking at the access to fire roads, because they are oblivious!

Btw when the CF finally turns up, id have your db or any burly man at your side to really make the point he is a real. CF and is lucky that you are actually in.

It seems that respecting a woman’s say is also not his forte. And the message will need to be forcibly rammed in his head (metaphorically of course)

@MyFartWillGoOn

Am sitting in the car furiously refreshing as I need to do the food shop but know once I go in, I won't have any signal so will likely miss 'his return'!

At least you're at the shop!

I've been putting off leaving since about 10.00am, but I really must go soon.

I bet he comes back when I'm out.

The CF seems to be training future Olympic cyclists

@AnathemaPulsifer

He’s always been at liberty to resolve this situation by knocking on the door and apologising, and he hasn’t bothered. His problems are entirely self-inflicted.

This.

Speaking as someone who's ex had us have a Ranger as a family car - don't worry, he's an entitled git.

Also, those things are easy to park (they have all the cameras etc. which is why you can use them as a family car despite their size) and would have had no trouble in the other car park.

You are not doing this to his kids, he is.

[quote TheSandgroper]Can I offer some Mumsnet support? What you want to happen can happen.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/mumsnet_classics/3278894-my-first-parking-thread?pg=40[/quote]
Thanks so much for reminding me of this absolutely EPIC thread - probably my fave ever!

@frazzledasarock

They got their bikes, they could always cycle home or to a restaurant or the cinema.

If the stupid man refuses to knock on your door and apologise and ask for you to unlock the gate, I’d leave it as clearly he had a full day planned and doesn’t want access to his car.

Cycling home kind of depends on how far they've come though. People drive down from London to cycle sections of the South Downs Way, a good 50 miles distance.

I'm agog at the increasing level of CF.