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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To lock the jackass in (parking thread)

999 replies

BlueEyesWhiteDragon · 31/07/2021 10:57

I live in a rural location which is very popular with walkers / bikers / horse riders etc. It's heaving today for some unknown reason as the weather is rubbish!

We have 2 driveways. One which was with the original cottage then a small bit of garden then a second which leads to the additional land we have. The second driveway the forestry commission have a ROW over as the track continues up into the forest. Next to that driveway is a footpath. Both driveways have gates at either end and both say private property/dogs running loose. (Diagram attached - not to scale!)

I have just had a straw delivery and so opened the second driveway gates to let the farmer in and trundled round the back to show him where to put them. He's unloaded and driven off and I've gone to lock the gates back up. Literally as he's driven off and I'm walking down a guy has pulled in the gates and parked up and 3 kids have jumped out and he started unloading their bikes.

I politely ask him to move as he's on private land and he says there are no signs he thought it was a parking spot. I say they are on the gate and it's clearly an enclosed piece of land that is not a parking space and he says he couldn't see them as the gates were open but he'll only be a few minutes. No problem, I say, I'll pop back and shut the gates in 5. Off I toddle.

I have returned and his car is still there and he has gone. He has left a note on the windscreen which says "had to park here no other spaces". I mean WTF?!

WIBU to shut the gates, padlock the fucker in, block the gates with my truck AND then disappear for at least 48 hours?

To lock the jackass in (parking thread)
OP posts:
Thread gallery
5
osprey24 · 31/07/2021 15:35

I wouldn't worry about the kids getting wet, he has access to his vehicle which will have a heater. He can let them in the car whilst he knocks on your door, grovels, and asks to be let out.

Cuddlyrottweiler · 31/07/2021 15:35

Do not open the gates. The kids won't die, the carrier bags most likely were a picnic, or he'll have had money in the car for food and drinks. They're learning a valuable lesson about CFery right now.

I wouldn't care if he called the police, it's clear he parked on your driveway and that you told him not to, the police are hardly going to arrest you

SixesAndEights · 31/07/2021 15:35

@RandomMess

Seriously it's on him.

They have been back twice and neither time come and apologised and tried to resolve it. Why do you feel guilty exactly? Social conditioning?

This!

Likewise writing him little notes.

They can get a taxi home, the kids are not in any danger. The dad can return and pick up his car.

Right now you're just providing them with a free parking space, he hasn't been inconvenienced in any way as they were obviously coming out for the day what with the lunch.

Original poster
BlueEyesWhiteDragon · 31/07/2021 15:36

I've decided to move the truck back to drive1. I'm hoping that if he didn't realise it was all one place so he could just resolve this with a knock to the door, the truck moving will make that clear. I've also shut the dogs in so they can access the doorbell without being barked at!

DBs gone to get the carvery anyway and I've gone king size because I need to stress eat! I'm supposed be on a diet!!

OP posts:
bluebeck · 31/07/2021 15:36

They won't drown they can get in the car.

I would go to cinema, leaving gates locked. You could put a note on his car telling him you will be back in five minutes....or not bother.

Don't feel sorry for him - he is an adult who is choosing not to resolve the situation. Just go out and forget about him.

Kinneddar · 31/07/2021 15:36

I'm just feeling a bit sorry for his poor kids and am tempted to just open the gates

Don't!!! They're fine, they're out with their (idiot) Dad.

but still not any id want trapped outside if the weather turns because they can't get home

But they can get home. Soon as their Dad knocks your door and asks nicely the gates will be open. It's not like you've had it towed away.

The Police aren't going to be in the least bit interested. You've done nothing wrong. You've secured your property, you warned him you were locking up, he chose to ignore you. IF he was stupid enough to try and get the Polive involved the first thing they'd ask him is is the owner of the property in and what did they say when he asked to get access to his car. They're not going to come out when he's not tried to resolve the situation

Just sit tight 😄

nonetcurtains · 31/07/2021 15:37

I think CF and kids had a nice bike ride this morning, came back to find blocked in car, so went for a carvery / drinks / toilet, then finding the car still blocked have gone for a second lovely ride in the countryside.

AlwaysLatte · 31/07/2021 15:37

I would shut the gate and leave a note with your phone number, especially as the kids will be tired after the bike ride and it's not their fault. But you missed a trick as you could have said to him that you were about to lock the gate and go away so if he needed it today he'd need to move it!

KarlUrbansWife · 31/07/2021 15:38

Man, he's really dragging it out though! In all seriousness, I'm sorry this is causing you stress, OP. Some people just don't care about others if it makes their life easier.

Artichokeleaves · 31/07/2021 15:38

Agree. You told him he had five minutes before you locked up. You locked up. You parked.

All he needs to do is knock and ask you to let him out.

Cap89 · 31/07/2021 15:39

I wouldn’t feel guilty at all. You didn’t actually end up leaving and giving him no way of accessing his car! They could have been home hours ago if he’d plucked up the courage to knock on your door. I might have felt a tiny pang of guilt if I’d gone out for hours and there had been a downpour and I knew that I was leaving them stranded with no way of apologising and getting access to the car, but you’ve been in the entire time. The responsibility for his children is entirely his own. Don’t feel a second’s guilt. If the kids are tired and miserable that’s on dad, and as others have said, hopefully they will learn that you can’t behave like he did without consequences!!!

IveGotASongThatllGetOnYNerves · 31/07/2021 15:39

His kids are fine.
If they weren't, he would knock on your door, right? So clearly he feels they're ok.

Either he thinks the vehicle blocking the gates is another tourist and he's waiting for them to leave or he is indeed thinking who does she think she is telling me it's private property. I am a man with my manly man-ness and the power of my mighty penis of control decides what the rules are. She will open the gates lest I set the fire of my manly man-titlement upon the uppity wench.

Dizzy1234 · 31/07/2021 15:39

@NeedNewKnees

I want you to choose C so badly I’d pay for your meal, *@BlueEyesWhiteDragon*!

And the bottle of wine you’ll need, obviously Wink

I'll split the bill with you @NeedNewKnees 😂
LakieLady · 31/07/2021 15:40

@nonetcurtains

I think CF and kids had a nice bike ride this morning, came back to find blocked in car, so went for a carvery / drinks / toilet, then finding the car still blocked have gone for a second lovely ride in the countryside.
It would be quite amusing if OP and family got to the carvery tonight only to find the CF and his kids in there too, killing time until the gate is unlocked!
chesterelly · 31/07/2021 15:42

Don't feel bad that it might rain. You haven't stopped him accessing his truck, as he's already shown by collecting and dropping off bags. It will provide adequate shelter for his DC if it starts pouring. If you know your rural policing team could you pre-empt any attempt by CF to involve police by getting in touch with them to explain your actions are simply to comply with your insurance. I bet they are fed up of people using the countryside and rural communities like a big theme park, you'll give them a laugh if nothing else.

WeeMadArthur · 31/07/2021 15:42

Not sure if anyone has suggested this, but is it worth checking online to see if his car is insured/ MOTd etc? Sounds like the sort of chancer that might not bother with paperwork.

Original poster
BlueEyesWhiteDragon · 31/07/2021 15:42

@RandomMess ooohh I'm a chronic people pleasing, easily emotional guilted, confrontation avoiding soul. Twas conditioned in me at a young age partly by society I suspect but also definitely by my dad. I am more aware of it these days and try to have better boundaries but I very much have form for inconveniencing myself to make other peoples lives easier. Tbh even ask him to move was great strides for me which is partly what put me in a rage when he didn't more at myself really. I'd worked up the courage to interact, asked nicely, allowed him time to finish unloading and it still didn't work. I knew I should have waited or insisted but I just didn't want to be "a bitch"

OP posts:
TinkerPony · 31/07/2021 15:43

And be waiting some more whole OP and family eat their dinner lol Grin

dapsnotplimsolls · 31/07/2021 15:43

How far away is the carvery? I wonder if your DB will be there when he hears a random CF loudly complaining about the 'Mad Bitch' who's blocked his car to a crowd of unsympathetic locals ...

AnathemaPulsifer · 31/07/2021 15:44

He’s always been at liberty to resolve this situation by knocking on the door and apologising, and he hasn’t bothered. His problems are entirely self-inflicted.

Notaroadrunner · 31/07/2021 15:45

You need to find your inner bitch from now on @BlueEyesWhiteDragon to avoid a repeat of this situation. Next time bring the dogs out and scream at any cf trespassers.

MyFartWillGoOn · 31/07/2021 15:45

Am sitting in the car furiously refreshing as I need to do the food shop but know once I go in, I won't have any signal so will likely miss 'his return'!

RookieRoo · 31/07/2021 15:45

YABU for moving your truck! And YWBU to let him out any time before tomorrow. He can get a taxi as PP has said.

CFs need to be put at a disadvantage, not allowed access or they will never learn. They only came back to the car for their picnic, I bet, and had no intention of moving the car.

Sexnotgender · 31/07/2021 15:45

Don’t weaken OP!

You’re teaching the children a valuable lesson.

BruceAndNosh · 31/07/2021 15:45

Didn't he notice you walking back towards your house after you gave him the 5 minute warning?

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