To ask how you withdraw completely from society?

[DancingwithDaffodils]

I don’t want to be part of our society. I don’t like anything about it. I want to completely withdraw, does anyone know how to do that?

[DancingwithDaffodils]

@Winter2020

Hi OP,
I can lack resilience and get very stressed about problems in my life e.g. lately we have had several leaks at home that needed fixing/caused damage and I found it stressful and am still finding it upsetting - floors drying/need replacing. Things like this make me think I hate being an adult. But the same lack of resilience would make me awful at building my own house and finding/growing my food in a forest. I want to be warm, dry and fed!

I am guessing that you have been going through difficult times? Maybe at least in part financial? Most of us want a safe home that is dry and warm with food in the fridge and find it stressful and upsetting when we don’t feel that is the case. I’m not sure that withdrawing from society and trying to live without help or money is the answer. I think you would swap one set of problems for another e.g. living somewhere damp/cold and being hungry (unless of course you do have the cash and skills to build an eco house somewhere in which case great).

I think you would be better to get help and face your problems - for example their is no financial problem that is unsolvable. If you have unmanageable debt their are legal routes out of it. You can open a basic bank account (no overdraft) with poor credit.

The money saving expert forums has lots of posters who are knowledgeable on sorting out finances. Even if you owe 100k and have zero income there is help and a solution for you. You just need to seek the help and advice to put it into place.

Hi, yes this all resonates. Sorry you’ve had a stressful time. You’re right I do want to be in a dry, warm environment with food in the fridge.

I don’t have any financial difficulties thankfully, my issue(s) are more social. I really find people intolerable. I find most people irritating, shallow, idiotic, and generally a complete waste of space.
Ive felt this way for many years - however the whole Covid has really highlighted just how selfish and indulgent some humans are.

I realise there are probably wonderful people also out there, I’ve just never met any. I can be very sociable when I need to be (like on occasions I’ve had business transactions, work stuff etc), but really just don’t like people, rules, norms and having to comply. It’s not really for me.

I do love animals though. They’re cool.

[AnotherMarvellousThing]

@sadie9

Joining an enclosed religious order is your best bet. There's food and a place to sleep. You could change your name legally.
Is your issue a threat of being invaded or a desire not to take physically take up space in the world?

I’m probably the only person on the forum who actually spent a month living with an enclosed order as I thought about asking to be received as a postulant, and let me tell you, they’re extremely fussy about who they accept. (As why wouldn’t they be — when you’ve taken a vow of stability, you stay in the same convent with the same people for your whole life, so they screen potential postulants rigorously. Anything like the OP’s motivation would be an immediate no.)

You would also need documentation to prove your age, that you have a certain level of education, and that you’re not in debt, among other things.

[DancingwithDaffodils]

I was brought up in a cult so there is absolutely no way I will join anything remotely religious

[TheBullfinch]

How old are you?

Have you always struggled socially?

Isolation may seem desirable now but in ten year's time, it might not seem so great. How will you work if you font socialise? Private income?

Speaking from personal experience, I'd say the best way to drop out socially is to move away from family and friends, become a single woman in your thirties and then work for a micro company. Voila!

[Nat6999]

Buy a caravan that is equipped to go off grid, find a certified location to put it on, pay cash & give a false name & address. Certified locations have a water supply & sometimes electric hook ups, you need a caravan with a 100W solar panel that will run the heating, lighting, water pump, a 12V TV if you want one, then a camping gas supply so you can cook & run your fridge. If you find the right certified location you could be the only person there, otherwise just keep yourself to yourself.

[Sunshine4you]

Sounds like we're aiding a criminal to go off grid 🤣

[duffmcstockings]

Just hit 50. Society will withdraw from you.

[Jenasaurus]

get a camper van and enough cash to keep it fuelled amd maintained for at least 30 years (not sure of your age but I think within that timescale you may want to re-emerge in society for health or other reasons), just travel from place to place setting up home like the travelling comminity do. A cheaper but harder alternative is a tent and backpack and vanish somewhere remote, set up home and live off what you catch in the river, berries, etc, If its a new identity you want and just your own life you want to escape, you would have to fake your death and invent yourself as someone new, but to be legal you would have to leave a suggestion you had died rather than a definite maybe leave your clothes on a a beach = but that would be hard for your family and friends so consider this well.

I have felt like you before, mainly when I had things in my life I could see no escape from, like when I was in debt to the tune of 50k I would have wild thoughts about opening the wardrobe, stepping inside and never coming out (i was severely depressed) but this passed and most things do have solutions so if its a real problem please think hard about your real reasons and seek help.

[Iloveliberty]

Are you in trouble with the police? Are you hiding from something?

[CataclysmicVariable]

Not having a bank account makes it more likely that you will have to interact with other people more often, surely

[Jenasaurus]

If you so travel around, you could try and find cash in hand work, if it still exists.

[notangelinajolie]

DH and I are just about to do this. Not about to become bhudist monks or anything but we have just bought our last property to do up. Once we have sold this one we are buying a remote property in a remote place and are going totally off grid.
We will be buying a small holding and hope to become as self suficient as possible.
But if you can't afford to buy there are houses with land you can lease for a relatively small rent.
I'm not doing it alone but you sound determined so my advice to you is give it a go. In life you regret the things you don't do rather than the things you do do.
Good luck.

[DewDew83]

But if you can't afford to buy there are houses with land you can lease for a relatively small rent
Not sure how achievable it is to buy or rent without a bank account and a credit history.

[NiceGerbil]

OP you don't have to do SM etc.

In the UK going off grid is v tricky as all the land is owned.

You sound paranoid tbh. I think given your upbringing and current feelings a trip to the doctor is in order.

[NiceGerbil]

There are some small islands North of Scotland that have v small populations. Dunno about internet.

Food and mail comes by boat once s month or similar.

Somewhere like that?

[NiceGerbil]

Look at the list here.

Some have population 3.

[Seafog]

I grew up off grid, no phone/electrical/water , using an outhouse, making our own soap, milking goats, using horses for transport, etc
It's satisfying, but an incredibly demanding lifestyle.
No days off, ever. No sick days. Even if you are shitting yourself type of sick, you still have to haul water, milk and feed, tend the fires.
It is super hard to do, and to do it is even harder on your own.

[NiceGerbil]

Yes it is incredibly hard.

Often also uninhabited/ barely habited places at least in UK are that way for w reason.

IE they're not places many people at all would choose to live.

OP go to the doc. Seriously.

[CataclysmicVariable]

I think you need to be clear about what your aim is

If you want to be off grid and self sufficient and you have the skills and energy and inclination to grow your own food and generate the other things you need in daily life, build and maintain your own home, plans for emergencies and healthcare and so on then you could do that

On the other hand you could end up in a situation where you need to contact and maintain relationships with an awful lot of people to keep the show on the road, which sounds like the opposite of what you want

If you just don’t want to have to deal with other people at all then you can do that without trying to go completely off grid (see how people managed lockdowns and self isolation for example), but you do have to accept that there will be records about you

[PattyPan]

Look up the moneyless man, Mark Boyle. He basically did a Thoreau for a bit about a decade ago but ran into problems because the only way you could get out of paying council tax was by claiming benefits that gave you an exemption.

[sergeilavrov]

I think it’s worth speaking to your GP or a private psychological professional about how you’re feeling. From a security perspective, this type of thing sounds alarm bells and may draw more attention to you - not less.

[tara66]

It's really not hard to go without contacts - many people have been doing it these last 2 years because of Virus - except for deliveries of course (which can be annoying) but they only last a few minutes.

[AtticusHoysAnus]

Immediate thought was also new lives in the wild.

Go somewhere without any social media or tech.

[Jenasaurus]

@PattyPan

Look up the moneyless man, Mark Boyle. He basically did a Thoreau for a bit about a decade ago but ran into problems because the only way you could get out of paying council tax was by claiming benefits that gave you an exemption.

I guess by moving from spot to spot in a camper van you wouldnt have to pay council tax though

[Monty27]

OP you don't do social Media yet you're on Mumsnet
I can't see how you can possibly achieve your goal until you know what that is. That's your focus 🤞❤️