To ask how you withdraw completely from society?

[DancingwithDaffodils]

I don’t want to be part of our society. I don’t like anything about it. I want to completely withdraw, does anyone know how to do that?

[User56439876]

I don't think doctors do take you off the list, I haven't been for about 15 years and I could still get a covid jab as I was still registered, you have to deregister I think

[gingganggooleywotsit]

Live on a boat and keep moving

[CandyLeBonBon]

@InSuburbia2

OP unless you want to live off-grid in the woods, it's not essential. It is far easier to get lost in a crowd which I have done for the last 12.5 years and nobody has found me.

So sorry to disappoint the Sherlock Holmes brigade I did not do anything wrong but somebody did wrong to me and nobody would believe or listen to my story instead they encouraged this other person which only made my situation worse although it made disappearing for me far easier.

I have never used social media mainly because I dislike certain things about it namely the lack of privacy. I use an adaptation of my name except for legal and medical stuff etc.

Where I live now is the most unfriendly place I have ever lived but that suits me as when I first moved it was amazing the questions neighbours asked that was really none of their business, so I gave each one a slightly different variation as I had noticed they got together for gossip sessions during the day and would have loved to be a fly on the wall to hear what they said. After a little while they stopped talking to me which really suits because they are not genuine or trusting anyway. Some are into drugs alcohol and other things and I do not wish to get involved in those.

PM if you think I can help further

You're using social media right now!!! 😂

[RubyFowler]

I also think a narrowboat would suit you. Home comforts but the ability to keep moving and can buy most of what you need in cash.
Not sure what you do for a living or for money though?

[lljkk]

I'm a bit of a river rat & meet people living on boats... Boats have to be registered annually, usage tolls in most areas. People living on boats still need to go get food.

There used to be (may still be) a guy living on cliffs in Cromer. Local people bring him things & check on him. Fairly but not 100% isolated.

Problem is food. There aren't supermarket deliveries to cliff hollows or most boats, nor to empty properties one is squatting in. Most people can't run a small farm well enough to create all their own food. Needing food means some social contact unless you find a desert island and would risk starvation.

OP could try this lifestyle, which is living/hiding near urban fringe, occasional forays to supermarkets and lots of scavenging. This lifestyle shortens life expectancy considerably.

[godmum56]

Define "completely withdraw"?

[ActonSquirrel]

It's an interesting concept until you get sick and probably go running to the nearest hospital. Or realising how little anyone cares that you're gone. That's the reality.

[DancingwithDaffodils]

Thanks everyone, I think I know exactly what to do now. I’ve realised the withdrawal doesn’t need to be completely physical as in living totally alone in the middle of nowhere. It’s more important for me to be completely anonymous which is doable.

I realise I can’t erase my identity from government records, healthcare etc. But I can use a different name day to day so there’s no association.

Have a great day everybody and thanks again!

[lovemelongtime]

Seriously hope you are ok. If this is truly just a desire to withdraw from society, then ditch the social media and internet for starters. Send a bizarre post to put on Mumsnet. Delete your account from all social media is a start

[Maggiesfarm]

@StarryStarrySocks

It would be impossible to do this nowadays.

I'm not so sure about that. I'm working on it and if I manage to achieve it, I'll return here and tell you.

[ActonSquirrel]

The only people who tend to want to live under an assumed identity are those who have something to hide and run away from.

Otherwise why would it matter.

[PrettyLittleFlies]

@ActonSquirrel

The only people who tend to want to live under an assumed identity are those who have something to hide and run away from.

Otherwise why would it matter.

Where did you get this fact?

[ActonSquirrel]

Witness protection programmes do exactly what the OP is proposing.

It's a weird arrogance other wise. I don't want anyone to know who I am. No one actually cares.

Uttered by the same people who won't stop using a phone to post on mumsnet

[Porcupineintherough]

I'm not seeing the problem with the OP living under an assumed name if it makes her happy. Ditto having no social contact. Good luck to her.

[PrettyLittleFlies]

@ActonSquirrel

Witness protection programmes do exactly what the OP is proposing.

It's a weird arrogance other wise. I don't want anyone to know who I am. No one actually cares.

Uttered by the same people who won't stop using a phone to post on mumsnet

Again, where are you getting this information? Because if you think about it there is no way of knowing who is living under an assumed name. So I think you're talking bollocks.

[DancingwithDaffodils]

It’s a shame people assume anonymity is desired because an individual has done something wrong.

[CandidaAlbicans2]

There is a disproportionate number of twattish people though. You only have to skim through the boards to see these. Even on this thread there are such low rent comments, some people really do drag the chain

@PrettyLittleFlies, you can't determine the numbers of twatty humans based on MN stories and posters though. Although this is a big forum, the number of people on it is a drop in the ocean compared to the billions of humans on the planet. Also, people tend to post negative things so you'll get a skewed picture of life, and often people are ruder online due to the anonymous nature of it. Even the media tend to only cover the bad news stories so it's easy to think everything's doom and gloom.

[AnotherMarvellousThing]

@notanothertakeaway

Fairly easy to withdraw from society - rent a house in the country, with no neighbours. Go to the nearest town to buy food. Pay cash

Difficult to COMPLETELY withdraw. You need ID to get a tenancy, you have to register with the LA to pay Council Tax, you'll be captured on CCTV as you enter the shop

The Ben Fogle programme is interesting, but I often wonder what happens to those people when they get old or sick

OP, the book "Into the Wild" by Jon Krakauer might interest you. It's about a young man who wanted to disappear. It's also a film

What often strikes me about the Ben Fogle programme — which it doesn’t by its nature explore at all — is how visibly vulnerable, damaged, neurodiverse etc many of the people he visits are. Not all, by any means, but quite a few episodes leave a bad taste in my mouth, when you have nice, Hampstead-y, privately-educated Ben gushing about the scenery when visiting someone vulnerable who is traumatised from some life event and/or visibly incapable of functioning within society at all. That Canadian Buddhist monk who struck me as particularly strange was later disrobed for sexual misbehaviour, and at least two of the people who lived very remotely died young of cancer.

[lightand]

Gosh there is a lot of misinformation here, especially from one poster. Thankfully some misinformation has been corrected.

Of course some people choose, and have always chosen, to try and disappear from society.
Try telling those with missing relatives, that it is not possible!

There was a picture the other day, even in the UK, where about 10 families were living hidden from view from the rest of society.

People do live in the woods, though more likely not in the UK.

[AnotherMarvellousThing]

Where was that, @lightand?

I think one of the most striking bits of Raynor Winne’s The Salt Path was the part where they spent the night in the woods in a permanent, secret community of homeless people somewhere near Penzance, people who’d got good at slipping in and out of the place secretly and keeping their presence under the radar.

[PickUpAPepper]

You need money. You need money to buy land - even a boat needs mooring rights. In the UK that is a real problem as land is hugely expensive, even the small amount of land required for housing is beyond the reach of many working nowadays. You then need money for resources - tools, raw materials, seeds, clay, and of course all the knowledge required. Can you tell I've checked this out at numerous times?

[Maggiesfarm]

@DancingwithDaffodils

It’s a shame people assume anonymity is desired because an individual has done something wrong.

I hadn't thought of that, just assumed that some people want to keep a low profile and reinvent themselves. I would like to do that, though would see my children.

Moving house and changing name is a good place to start or, if a married woman, using your unmarried surname.

Obviously your bank, utility providers and the council would need to know where you are but you'd go on the electoral register under a different name.

I think it could be quite fun to live somewhere where nobody knows you. Even better if you move to a place which is very private, no nosy neighbours, etc. There's the possibility of bumping into someone but all you have to do is be pleasant and move on.

[mrssmiling]

That is such a wonderful book @AnotherMarvellousThing - I’ve recommended it to so many people.
www.bigissue.com/latest/rural-england-homeless-problem-hidden/

[Mintjulia]

Single mum during covid, I seemed to do it by default.
Got made redundant, school closed, ex stopped seeing ds because 'it was too risky' (he never was father of the year ).

So my week consisted of walking with ds, playing with ds, one early morning trip to a supermarket every 10 days but otherwise we were alone for months.
It wasn't unpleasant, none of the dramas and nastiness of everyday life, so I understand why you might want a break OP.
Ds was much happier, more time together, life was simpler.

But I wouldn't want to do it longer term. Can you take a month's break from socialising, order online or shop at 6am. Retreat into your home and focus on yourself for a while. Read, rest, listen to music, cook from scratch. And then come back, rested and feeling more positive.

[User56439876]

My DF sort of did this and left us and moved away over 20 years ago, DM tried to track him down but couldn't, I traced him when DM died and had to use those heir hunter type people as he half owned the house I had to sell, he still lives a bit of hermit like life with no phone or internet and rarely answers the door of his rented property. It is quite hard for others to trace you if you move away and don't want to be found because of data protection