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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask how you withdraw completely from society?

204 replies

DancingwithDaffodils · 30/07/2021 21:41

I don’t want to be part of our society. I don’t like anything about it. I want to completely withdraw, does anyone know how to do that?

OP posts:
sadie9 · 30/07/2021 22:55

Joining an enclosed religious order is your best bet. There's food and a place to sleep. You could change your name legally.
Is your issue a threat of being invaded or a desire not to take physically take up space in the world?

Starcar · 30/07/2021 22:57

I can understand the desire for more space/quiet and control over life and I can understand though don’t share the desire to have less/no contact with people. but I don’t understand the desire to have your name not exist on databases. It seems too abstract to impact on me at all. Yet it seems to be your main emphasis.

I don’t really even believe you when you say you don’t have a bank account (given that you live in a home rather than on streets). cannot contemplate how it would irritate someone to have a bank account that makes life so much easier for transfers etc.

robotcollision · 30/07/2021 22:57

Become homeless and jobless. You will soon become invisible and cease to exist for the vast majority of society especially if you live in a big city.

Or close all financial and social media accounts, change your name and go off grid - to a commune, a religious order, cult or just alone.

user16395699 · 30/07/2021 22:59

Being an urban hermit is a bit shit. Eventually at least one of your neighbours will take umbrage at leaving next door to a "weirdo" recluse.

I've had friends whose neighbours went so far as attacking them or damaging their home because they were apparently so offended by the friends' reclusive behaviour. Confused

Mandalay246 · 30/07/2021 22:59

Interested to know how anyone can survive without a bank account? Otherwise I think you are being a bit silly OP -who on earth do you think is trying to trace you? As for social media being intolerable - what do you think MN is?

Sunbeam61278 · 30/07/2021 23:02

Buy a boat & sail away

But a camper van

But a tent & a bicycle, you are away

Regularsizedrudy · 30/07/2021 23:03

You don’t have a bank account Hmm whose bank rolling you then?

RampantIvy · 30/07/2021 23:06

I no longer have a bank account

What do you live on? I assume you don't work?

Swisslady · 30/07/2021 23:11

OP is hatching a future plan and asking for help/suggestions for when/if she does this - pointing out to her she’s currently on social media is unnecessary.

Sarahlou63 · 30/07/2021 23:16

Tip for having an anonymous email. Set up an email account with fake information (1) that is validated from your current email (2). Set up another email account (3) that is validated from (1). Close (1) and (2). Voila!

Lavender24 · 30/07/2021 23:17

@Athrawes

Get off Mumsnet, for starters.
😂
Wineat5isfine · 30/07/2021 23:18

Live life as a nomad I guess? Buy a campervan…travel around?

One would think you would need a bank account though? There is not harm in having one, unless you are trying to escape something horrible?

Original poster
DancingwithDaffodils · 30/07/2021 23:20

PrettyLittleFlies - that sounds perfect. I think a gradual approach is what is needed. I have made a few adjustments, just need to keep going.

OP posts:
BadLad · 30/07/2021 23:22

Who did you kill?

idontlikealdi · 30/07/2021 23:22

It does seem slightly odd to ask an Internet forum how to erase your digital footprint

justasking111 · 30/07/2021 23:28

OH knows someone who has a boat in the marina. Nasty divorce, nervous breakdown. He lives on board walks to the shops, has a bell on his stern which the swans pull on to get his attention for food. He's a different man from the shell of a man that arrived a few years ago. He's still nervous.

He did have a nasty accident recently was hospitalised but is back tucked aboard now.

He does have a sibling that checks up on him now and again plus the marina staff keep an eye on all the hermits that have chosen to live this way mostly men but there are a few women

Terhou · 30/07/2021 23:29

I don’t use social media, that’s just completely intolerable for me

I think you'll find you do. This is social media.

Terhou · 30/07/2021 23:29

If you don't have a bank account, what are you living on?

Original poster
DancingwithDaffodils · 30/07/2021 23:30

@BadLad

Who did you kill?
Someone I used to work with who really pissed me off
OP posts:
Angelofchaos · 30/07/2021 23:33

@Swisslady

OP is hatching a future plan and asking for help/suggestions for when/if she does this - pointing out to her she’s currently on social media is unnecessary.
You mean it's unnecessary, in your opinion.

I, actually, pointed it out, as several people recently posted that they didn't think this social media. They had wuit social media but more realised this was also a type of it.

I was making her aware that it is, as she has deleted all other social media. She may also be one of the ones that isn't aware its classed as social media.

I didn't tell her to delete it.

EvenRosesHaveThorns · 30/07/2021 23:35

Stay away from the news and social media is a good start (wish I had the willpower)

BadLad · 30/07/2021 23:35

They probably deserved it.

What you want is an actual available service in Japan.

This might be interesting reading for you.

en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jouhatsu

www.google.com/amp/s/nypost.com/2016/12/10/the-chilling-stories-behind-japans-evaporating-people/amp/

covilha · 30/07/2021 23:42

Hmm, joining the Poor Clare’s, or any contemplative order is not quite as straight forward as @DancingwithDaffodilsmay hope. You will, to enter at least, need a traceable footprint

Winter2020 · 30/07/2021 23:44

Hi OP,
I can lack resilience and get very stressed about problems in my life e.g. lately we have had several leaks at home that needed fixing/caused damage and I found it stressful and am still finding it upsetting - floors drying/need replacing. Things like this make me think I hate being an adult. But the same lack of resilience would make me awful at building my own house and finding/growing my food in a forest. I want to be warm, dry and fed!

I am guessing that you have been going through difficult times? Maybe at least in part financial? Most of us want a safe home that is dry and warm with food in the fridge and find it stressful and upsetting when we don’t feel that is the case. I’m not sure that withdrawing from society and trying to live without help or money is the answer. I think you would swap one set of problems for another e.g. living somewhere damp/cold and being hungry (unless of course you do have the cash and skills to build an eco house somewhere in which case great).

I think you would be better to get help and face your problems - for example their is no financial problem that is unsolvable. If you have unmanageable debt their are legal routes out of it. You can open a basic bank account (no overdraft) with poor credit.

The money saving expert forums has lots of posters who are knowledgeable on sorting out finances. Even if you owe 100k and have zero income there is help and a solution for you. You just need to seek the help and advice to put it into place.

Winter2020 · 30/07/2021 23:46

Sorry for all the wrong types of “there”!

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