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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

How long did it take for you to be on 'farting' terms with your DPs

452 replies

fuckyeahpercywigwam · 29/07/2021 17:37

This is not really an AIBU, but inspired by the hilarious 'he shat in the garden' thread.

My friend's daughter has been married for seven years...child-free..but her and her DH have never farted in each other's hearing. Nope. They discreetly remove themselves to the loo.

I cannot believe this.

OP posts:
Workinghardeveryday · 29/07/2021 19:43

We do and have after about 3 months. Dp thinks it’s weird people who don’t, so do I really sorry! How can you be close to a person and not be comfortable enough to fart after years together?

ShadowInVain · 29/07/2021 19:45

@MrsPelligrinoPetrichor

Together over 30 years, don't actively fart in front of each other. Yuck,cant think of anything worse.
I doubt many people actively fart in front of each other, if by that you mean, making a conscious decision to do it - it's just something that happens from time to time.
OhRene · 29/07/2021 19:46

It was a few months in.

He was tickling me.

We were spooning.

I wanted to die of shame.

Now it's been nearly 18 years and it's not a big deal. There are rules about when it's not acceptable. If anyone is eating, if someone is near you (like if I'm on DH's couch getting a snuggle), or if you are particularly stinky.

OhRene · 29/07/2021 19:49

We also pee in front of each other but pooping is an absolute no no.

SchrodingersImmigrant · 29/07/2021 19:49

People saying (and some just repeating it) that you wouldn't do it outside - in public.

That's the point of own home! That we can wear, say, do whatever we want to (as long as it doesn't impact neigbours). I would never the amount of garlic I do at home when I know I will be at home for the rest of ghe day, if I were in public (i LOVE garlic). I wouldn't wear short dress just bellow arse and no nickers in public. I wouldn't walk around with unbridgeable hair in public (usually). I wouldn't sit in a restaurant and cut my toenails. i also wouldn't lie on a sofa somewhere with my lg up over the back of it! And so on.

The home is NOT the same as public (for 99% of people)

Howshouldibehave · 29/07/2021 19:51

To those people who fart in front of your partner, would you fart in front of everyone else?

Your parents
In laws
Friends
Parents of your child’s friends
Colleagues
Doctor’s waiting room
At a Restaurant
Boss

If you think it’s just like sneezing and coughing, I presume you would?

MrsPelligrinoPetrichor · 29/07/2021 19:51

I doubt many people actively fart in front of each other, if by that you mean, making a conscious decision to do it - it's just something that happens from time to time

Yeah, I mean I wouldn't divorce him over oneGrin

ChocolateCakeYum · 29/07/2021 19:52

Yep IBS here too. No way can I just daintily clench my cheeks all the way to the loo on my tippy toes to let out a bum squeak. If I need to go, I need to go. 🤷‍♀️

SchrodingersImmigrant · 29/07/2021 19:52

Well i have no idea what unbridgeable hair are and how my phone decided that's what i meant when I typed unbrushed...

Original poster
fuckyeahpercywigwam · 29/07/2021 19:52

I think that once first DC was born, all niceitis went out the window. With all the release of bodily fluid, including shitting myself in labour, what the hell.

OH is a great farter. He could win bloody prizes. I kid you not.

One day, he is going to get a surprise. Definition of a surprise? a fart with a lump in!

OP posts:
Woolywolf · 29/07/2021 19:56

Do people go to the toilet specifically to fart? Like get up, go in there, lock the door, just fart not wee or poo then leave? That is incredible to me. And what if your partner is outside the toilet or you have an en-suite or toilet with another room/kitchen in earshot as lots of people do-do you go upstairs? What if you live in a tiny flat? What excuse do you give your partner-say you need to fart and you are watching a film do you say “one second I need to fart” and leave the room or do you pretend you need a wee or make a cup of tea or something as an excuse? Do you ever suspect your partner is sneaking off to fart?

ShadowInVain · 29/07/2021 19:59

Your parents - Yes - hell, they changed my nappies when I was a baby.

In laws - Yes, they wouldn't mind.
Friends - No, but then I don't really have any close friends.
Parents of your child’s friends - n/a as no DC
Colleagues - no
Doctor’s waiting room - yes (one expects iffy tums in such a place)
At a Restaurant - no, people are eating (I wouldn't fart at the dinner table at home either).
Boss - no (see colleagues)

If you think it’s just like sneezing and coughing, I presume you would?

There's no exact analogy. It's over-simplifying to say it's just like sneezing or coughing. There are lots of things you'd do in front of your partner that you wouldn't do in front of work colleagues, say - undress, for instance.

Woolywolf · 29/07/2021 20:00

@Howshouldibehave

To those people who fart in front of your partner, would you fart in front of everyone else?

Your parents
In laws
Friends
Parents of your child’s friends
Colleagues
Doctor’s waiting room
At a Restaurant
Boss

If you think it’s just like sneezing and coughing, I presume you would?

No, but I don’t get naked and have sex with any of those people either so have a more intimate relationship with my partner/do things with him I wouldn’t in front of others. I also spend lots of time with my partner so it would be more hassle/more uncomfortable to hold them in for a whole holiday/night etc than it is to hold them in for just the time I’m in work/public. I do fart in front of parents and close friends though.
Orangemochafrappacino · 29/07/2021 20:04

It was 3 months in, I accidentally let one slip out in the middle of what was also our first argument Blush

Now DH just laughed though and it certainly lightened the mood and ended the disagreement!

Now 5 years on we wouldnt go out of our way to fart in each others face but if one of us needs to fart we will, we certainly wouldnt shuffle off to the bathroom to do it unless we were unwell. It's just normal! Especially now I'm pregnant and super gassy and they just seem escape out of absolutely nowhere Blush

BabyPotato · 29/07/2021 20:08

I'm terribly fart shy so only do it quietly on my own. Blush My mum was the same and she said that her mum was very strict on not farting around others so I guess that's a couple of generations of holding it in.

DH started farting quite early on in our relationship and we've now been together for around 13 years. I'm immature and find farts funny and will laugh if he does a good one. Sometimes it gets on my nerves though but he gets pains if he doesn't do it so better out than in. Maybe one day I'll get over my hang ups and join him for a parp. Grin

saveyourbreath · 29/07/2021 20:13

Not very long.

We fart all the time.

A lot of you are very weird about a normal bodily function.

I can’t believe you’d let a man cum in you but you recoil at the thought of a fart

KatherineJaneway · 29/07/2021 20:13

Do people go to the toilet specifically to fart? Like get up, go in there, lock the door, just fart not wee or poo then leave?

Yes. Who wants to subject others to the smell of your bowels

Greenrubber · 29/07/2021 20:14

I get like a nervous fart also so at like interviews etc I do and I just apologise for it!
I've been knowm to do it whilst being scanned also but they are putting alot of pressure on down there so what do they expect?

If you can't fart freely in your own home that's crazy!
And no we don't deliberately go around farting in each others presence but I'm not holding them in just because there's someone else there

flossletsfloss · 29/07/2021 20:17

I can't believe all these people holding farts in 😂 It took us less than a month. Obviously I don't do it on purpose but good god some of you need to relax.

LST · 29/07/2021 20:20

@KatherineJaneway

Do people go to the toilet specifically to fart? Like get up, go in there, lock the door, just fart not wee or poo then leave?

Yes. Who wants to subject others to the smell of your bowels

Really really? You do this? Even in bed?
Gardentiger · 29/07/2021 20:23

Before coming on mumsnet it never occurred to me that people wouldn't fart freely in their own home. It seems such a prissy thing to worry about

MrsMillhouse · 29/07/2021 20:24

I can’t believe people would pee in front of DP but not fart! We’ve been together nearly 20 years and I’ve only peed once in front of DH: I was ill at the time and he had to keep an eye out for me falling

Nataliefrances123 · 29/07/2021 20:26

we have been together 12 years and we still don't

73kittycat73 · 29/07/2021 20:28

@Namechange183

I am stunned that so many people find a normal bodily function 'disrespectful'. Where do we draw the line? Burping? Is that terrible too?

We've been married for 15 years, I have a chronic illness and he's been both my husband and my carer at times. He loves me entirely, without caveat.

(That being said, I can't shake a vague feeling of embarrassment every time we have a watermelon sugar moment! But that's just my own prudishness 😂)

What's a watermelon sugar moment?
Stakhanovite · 29/07/2021 20:35

It was 3 months in, I accidentally let one slip out in the middle of what was also our first argument

@Orangemochafrappacino wait: are you saying you snapped and farted?!

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