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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

How long did it take for you to be on 'farting' terms with your DPs

452 replies

fuckyeahpercywigwam · 29/07/2021 17:37

This is not really an AIBU, but inspired by the hilarious 'he shat in the garden' thread.

My friend's daughter has been married for seven years...child-free..but her and her DH have never farted in each other's hearing. Nope. They discreetly remove themselves to the loo.

I cannot believe this.

OP posts:
SchrodingersImmigrant · 29/07/2021 23:42

I can burp my name

Bloodybridget · 29/07/2021 23:43

Been with DP twenty years, I can't remember when we started farting without embarrassment, but it was a long time ago. We are quite old, and I had bowel surgery in 2019, so there's a lot of farting in our house. I try very hard not to fart audibly around anyone else.

Stevie6 · 30/07/2021 00:15

I have ibs, I'll leave the room if it's likely to knock him unconscious, other than that then we don't care. Will pee in front of each other but not poop. Been together 20 years, don't remember a time we worried about farts

OhGiveUp · 30/07/2021 00:22

It took me about ten minutes after meeting him. I dropped my bag and as I bent down to pick it up, a massive fart escaped, it sounded like a bed sheet being ripped.
I was mortified. He just stood there like 😮
30 odd years later and it's like a percussion band is marching round the place with one or the other of us at it.

User1357 · 30/07/2021 00:28

@fantasmasgoria1

Sneezing doesn’t smell and you cover your nose/mouth.
Yes, I would leave the room if I needed to burp as that is unpleasant to other people also. Obviously if it happen by accident I would just apologise as I think its quite rude.

I was actually bought up in a family that audibly farted so I’m not sure why I’m not more forgiving of it but I just find it really off putting.

Coffee86 · 30/07/2021 00:35

I farting after the first few times we had sex and things just started from there. Dh rarely farts. I'm in perimenopause and maybe have some ibs. I could kill with my farts at times. He laughs and lights our "fart candle." it's not intentional but there's no way I could keep getting up every time I need to fart.

KatherineJaneway · 30/07/2021 05:53

What if you go into your locked bathroom to fart then then someone else needs to go in immediately after. Do you tell them not to go in until it’s safe?

@Woolywolf

Air freshener

PhilCornwall1 · 30/07/2021 06:28

@grealy

Guess I live in a gross house Grin regularly and from early on.
Same here. Yes we fart, it's no big deal.

I'll sometimes get the comment "I guess you'll be lifting the sheets tonight then" if it's a particularly breezy evening for me.

icedcoffees · 30/07/2021 07:23

Probably about a week Grin

Farts don't bother me in the slightest. If the smell bad I blame the dog Wink

MiddlesexGirl · 30/07/2021 07:27

I can understand it might be necessary if you're a farty person - but as my bowels are generally under good control, as are my partner's, neither of us would subject the other to farts except on rare occasions when ill or have had a change of diet. This doesn't make us uptight or prudish. It just means we are respectful of each other and not wishing to subject each other to vile smells. Ditto for pooing. Perhaps those that aren't bothered don't have such an acute sense of smell.

MiddlesexGirl · 30/07/2021 07:28

And yes I'll warn someone if the bathroom is smelly. Open the windows or whatever.

bloopshoop · 30/07/2021 07:59

@ActonSquirrel

Those of you who can't hold it at home what do you do at work or in public?

You walk around work farting in front of colleagues? In front of other parents on the school run. In shops and cafes?

No you control it and if a partner can extend that courtesy to me by not farting in my presence and I don't do it either.

There's lots of things I do at home that I wouldn't do in public. It's my home. I intend on getting old with my DH and tbh after 2 labours and post natal recoveries I don't think there's much mystery left, and that's good. I like feeling 100% comfortable with him.
ActonSquirrel · 30/07/2021 08:34

@bloopshoop I don't know. My dad always said there needs to be a bit of mystique in relationships.

He didn't want my mum or us seeing him take a dump. Who needs to see that. Ditto walking around farting.

bloopshoop · 30/07/2021 08:49

Hmm sounds a bit old fashioned to me.

JumperooSue · 30/07/2021 08:52

This is thread is brilliant, surely your relationship is fragile if you would be put off each other for a fart!

I let the first one go accidentally about 3 weeks into our relationship, sat on his lap and he made me laugh. He immediately rivalled it, there are no secrets in this house!

bloopshoop · 30/07/2021 08:59

@bloopshoop

Hmm sounds a bit old fashioned to me.
A bit like when men wouldn't enter the labour room as if they saw what happened during childbirth then they wouldn't want to ever go down there again. Bit sad really.
UntilYourNextHairBrainedScheme · 30/07/2021 09:00

JumperooSue it's not about being put off, its about not wanting to. As others have said, everyone manages not to do this at work or in the shops, cafés, restaurants, public transport etc. so its really not true to say that its a big deal to have the same respect for the people you live with as colleagues and friends. There's just no need to fart in front of anyone, the same way there's no need to go to the toilet in front of anyone, for most people past toddler age without relevant medical issues.

UntilYourNextHairBrainedScheme · 30/07/2021 09:03

I'm not sure why there's so much name calling and fake pity from those who do fart in front of their partners towards those who don't. Seems odd - why is it so important to some posters to insult people who don't want to do this?

CounsellorTroi · 30/07/2021 09:05

A few months tops. Mind you we were engaged in 4 months. Been happily married for over 30 years.

ActonSquirrel · 30/07/2021 09:10

A bit like when men wouldn't enter the labour room as if they saw what happened during childbirth then they wouldn't want to ever go down there again. Bit sad really.

There was a thread just a few weeks ago about a woman wanting her mum in the labour room. Her dh was unhappy with this.

There was an absolute pile on...calling men in the delivery room misogynistic and for millenia women have always been attended to by women and it should stay that way.

Most women referred to their partner as useless when they have birth on that thread.

I mean make your minds up.

Iggly · 30/07/2021 09:10

A bit like when men wouldn't enter the labour room as if they saw what happened during childbirth then they wouldn't want to ever go down there again. Bit sad really

I’m not sure I would equate watching your child enter the world and supporting your partner while she labours is the same as someone excreting unwanted waste products.

I won’t fart in front of anyone, not even the DCs, unless I can help it - it stinks!

JumperooSue · 30/07/2021 09:10

@UntilYourNextHairBrainedScheme and I’m talking about the people that have specifically said it would kill any sexual spark and put them off, there’s multiple in the first few pages on this thread. The language used around a fart is just ridiculous even you’ve said ‘to have the same respect as the people you live with’, respect?! It’s a bloody fart😂

UntilYourNextHairBrainedScheme · 30/07/2021 09:14

JumperooSue yep it is, and you wouldn't do it at work or in your friend's living room or on the train out of respect for those people nearby surely...

Chikapu · 30/07/2021 09:16

@UntilYourNextHairBrainedScheme

I'm not sure why there's so much name calling and fake pity from those who do fart in front of their partners towards those who don't. Seems odd - why is it so important to some posters to insult people who don't want to do this?
Obviously letting one rip or having a shit in front of your partner/husband/wife elevates your relationship to a higher status.
therocinante · 30/07/2021 09:17

@KatherineJaneway

What if you go into your locked bathroom to fart then then someone else needs to go in immediately after. Do you tell them not to go in until it’s safe?

@Woolywolf

Air freshener

Sorry this isn't aimed at you specifically but I'm absolutely buckled at the idea of trying to conceal your farts frantically by running to a locked bathroom and spraying...between 5 and 15 times a day 🤣

Horses for courses, evidently!

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