How long did it take for you to be on 'farting' terms with your DPs

[fuckyeahpercywigwam]

This is not really an AIBU, but inspired by the hilarious 'he shat in the garden' thread.

My friend's daughter has been married for seven years...child-free..but her and her DH have never farted in each other's hearing. Nope. They discreetly remove themselves to the loo.

I cannot believe this.

Really really? You do this? Even in bed?

@LST Well not while I'm asleep obviously but I'd never consciously fart in front of someone else. Why would you do that? Purposefully subject someone else to the smell / stink of your bowels.

A couple of years? Probs after kids. We don’t find it amusing, it’s just a bodily function. We still have amazing sex don’t know why people relate the two. Everyone farts and poops.

@KatherineJaneway

Really really? You do this? Even in bed?

@LST Well not while I'm asleep obviously but I'd never consciously fart in front of someone else. Why would you do that? Purposefully subject someone else to the smell / stink of your bowels.

Exactly.

An ex used to do it. When it was silent he would announce "I've just blown off"

I once said I don't need to know that and he said "but you'll smell it in a second"

Utterly disgusting

@frutyloops

Married 12 years. We never do. I Think it is disgusting and respectless. We also go to the bathroom alone. It would kill any sexual spark in me.

15 years for us and exactly the same.

43 years I have never, he does often.

@KatherineJaneway

Really really? You do this? Even in bed?

@LST Well not while I'm asleep obviously but I'd never consciously fart in front of someone else. Why would you do that? Purposefully subject someone else to the smell / stink of your bowels.

What if you go into your locked bathroom to fart then then someone else needs to go in immediately after. Do you tell them not to go in until it’s safe?

Don't you all every just get uncontrollable wind? Don't get me wrong, I don't go out of my way to fart in front of anybody, but I certainly don't try to force myself to hold it in if it's coming. It's a natural body function. I find it really strange that people go out of their way to hide something natural or pretend they don't do it. Strange.

My dh farts in front of me but I've never willingly farted in front of him. 13 years so far. I'm in the 'it's grim' camp.

I grew up in a fart house, still find them funny but DH grew up non-farting and I've agreed to convert for him.

I love this thread! My dh is very discreet with his bodily functions think I have only heard him fart twice in 11 years, Me well sadly thats another story.everytime I bend down or indeed get up my arse belts out a version of the 1812 ovature in stereo! It really is a nuisance when trying to tie my shoelaces! One out on way down one out on the way back up its like bloody hell lump whats up with your arse?! I tried to ease it by wearing slip ons but to no avail.I fart when I laugh so try to be as miserable as I can but even that doesnt work....they don;t smell it just seems like my arse wants a conversation all of its own every now and again! Himself bless him just ignores it.

About a month in, DP kissing my tummy, I said stop as I could feel the pressure building. He asked why and I said, unwisely, because if you lean on me I’ll fart. He obviously immediately pressed my tummy and I produced the most ridiculous series of pops. He just laughed and kept repeating pop pop pop then giggling helplessly. He still presses my tummy periodically in hope but I’ve not repeated the trick.

I’ve never I’m front of my husband and wouldn’t. My husband does in front of me and I hate it. I regularly tell him it is off putting and it makes me not fancy him (lightheartedly) But I do mean it.

He now removes himself from my presence, thank god!

I know people are saying it’s a natural bodily function but it is one that smells unpleasant and is actually a poisonous gas albeit in much higher doses than a fart. I would hate to subject anybody to that willingly.

@Pottedpalm oh yes they do. They just do it silently ...

I must be really childish as I find farting utterly hilarious.

About a year I think. Oddly we do it in front of each other (when needed) but dont do it in front of DCs and they dont do it in front of us (never been discussed, they just dont like it).

I had an ex I was with 10 years and never knowingly did it in front of him and the same. I also used to run the tap when I went to the toilet. I remember waking myself up once farting and being mortified and praying he was asleep. I still have no idea if he heard me.

We fart in each others presence but we haven't and would not poop in front of each other. I think it's silly to go out of the room to fart. It's a natural bodily function. Would you leave the room every time you sneezed or belched?

7 years and never heard each other fart! Disgusting! Shut door policy too.

I've known my husband since 1975. Neither of us have ever farted in front of the other. I've never farted in front of anyone (excepting whatever happened when I was a baby). Why would I? Neither of us are "windy" people anyway - presumably that's diet related. As for people who find farting funny, I don't get it. It's no more funny than eating, drinking, breathing etc.

I have IBS so frankly I couldn't live with someone I couldn't fart in front of. I don't find it funny but I'm certainly not excusing myself from a room or getting out of bed in the middle of the night to lock myself in the bathroom to fart. I find it strange that people won't do it in front of their partner

[quote Macaroni46]@Pottedpalm oh yes they do. They just do it silently ... [/quote]
They may try that, but then others smell it and complain. Silent and odour-free? No problem.

@therocinante

I find all the people holding their farts in very odd!

My husband has seen every single part of me.

He's seen me with food poisoning in a 3x3m room with a curtain for the 'bathroom' door on holiday, he's seen me post-surgery, he's nursed me through various disgusting illnesses and injuries... if a fart put him off me or vice versa I'd be very confused.

Yep. Those who say it would kill any sexual attraction I mean don't think about DH having a poo in the middle of sex but I see him poo and don't care. I've been with DH 21 years and there isn't much I wouldn't do in front of him and we have a very active sex life still.

@fantasmasgoria1

We fart in each others presence but we haven't and would not poop in front of each other. I think it's silly to go out of the room to fart. It's a natural bodily function. Would you leave the room every time you sneezed or belched?

Sneeze, no. Belch is treated the same as a fart; not acceptable in social situations.

Within the first year I guess. It's just a normal thing and not a big deal in our household. It annoys me if it happens at the dinner table though (My DS has form for this!)
Happy to wee in front of DH but pooing is private. He feels the same.

Those of you who can't hold it at home what do you do at work or in public?

You walk around work farting in front of colleagues? In front of other parents on the school run. In shops and cafes?

No you control it and if a partner can extend that courtesy to me by not farting in my presence and I don't do it either.