Mum seems obsessed with the cost of things.

[Neondisco]

My mum seems increasingly obsessed with the cost of things. She's in her early 60s and still works a few days a week. My dad is retired. They live in a house worth around 650k (in the North) and have a few 100k from my dad's early retirement /redundancy. He gets a pension. So not hard up.

But increasingly every conversion I have we end up talking about the cost of things. Particularly food and drink. She's adamant that food and drink have massively increased in cost since lockdown. Both in shops and hospitality.she thinks many places are trying to claw loat money back.

I'm a bit worried she's stressed about money, although I'm not sure why she would be. I'm also a bit worried about why she's latched onto this as a thing. Or have things actually gone up and I haven't noticed? It's obviously not massively effecting me before anyone asks! Apart from I just have to nod along to he talking about it. I'm also a little bit sad that she is maybe not doing things she would enjoy because of her perception she's now being ripped off. It does seem ever so slightly defensive.

Just wondering if anyone else has family members like this an/or if I'm being unreasonable and prices have gone up since lockdown? So my mum is actually right?

And don't forget, as you reach your retirement years, you're also having to face up to the reality of future care. Having money to pay for decent care is a real issue.

Just wondering if anyone else has family members like this an/or if I'm being unreasonable and prices have gone up since lockdown? So my mum is actually right?

YABU. Your mother IS correct - prices have gone up. Brexit and COVID. BRexit we inflicted on ourselves.

And your attribution of this to her age (oh gosh early 60s is sooooo old,) is ageist and unreasonable.

I’m early 60s and earn a shed load of money doing a high powered and tricky difficult job. I notice that prices have gone up. But I’ve always been aware of prices and the cost of things.

Noticing the cost of things is not an age thing. YABU.

And, you know, you better hope you’ll be “old” sometime. You’d better hope you make it to your 60s.

The alternative is worse.

@ShortBacknSides

Just wondering if anyone else has family members like this an/or if I'm being unreasonable and prices have gone up since lockdown? So my mum is actually right?

YABU. Your mother IS correct - prices have gone up. Brexit and COVID. BRexit we inflicted on ourselves.

And your attribution of this to her age (oh gosh early 60s is sooooo old,) is ageist and unreasonable.

I’m early 60s and earn a shed load of money doing a high powered and tricky difficult job. I notice that prices have gone up. But I’ve always been aware of prices and the cost of things.

Noticing the cost of things is not an age thing. YABU.

And, you know, you better hope you’ll be “old” sometime. You’d better hope you make it to your 60s.

The alternative is worse.

Where did I attribute it to her age? Pp's said this I did not. You may earn a she load if money but you could do better with your reading comprehension .

You sound madly aggressive. What the fuck are you talking about hoping a make it to 60 (which I explicitly said wasn't old BTW). Fucking bonkers. Are you ok?

She’s getting older, it’s a thing lots of them do

Crikey - she's only early 60's, not old.

Prices have gone up.
Talking about it passes for conversation in some people, like the weather.

OP, you absolutely didn't attribute it to her age at all. In fact I assumed you said early 60s and still working so that all the posts didn't assume it was due to her having been around when rationing was rife!

@WoodPell

OP, you absolutely didn't attribute it to her age at all. In fact I assumed you said early 60s and still working so that all the posts didn't assume it was due to her having been around when rationing was rife!

Yep exactly. I should know some posters with just read what they want into posts.

Mr gran started this when she was going senile. A pair of shoes for £20 ‘Eh! Make sure you bury them with me at that price!’ She was wearing canvas sand shoes in place of slippers (she had to go out and get coal from her bunker). The toe was completely worn through so my uncle binned them and get her a new pair. When he went over later she had the old shoes on ‘someone had binned these! Can you believe it!’ She was comfortable money wise though.

Prices have definitely gone up!

But I sympathise. My MIL is obsessed with the cost of everything. This isn't a new thing though. She was absolutely gutted I wouldn't reveal the price of my wedding dress. She asks everyone the price of everything and then tells everyone else e.g. I know how much her friend's new kitchen was etc. There was no way she was telling everyone the price of my dress!! (It was a fabulous bargain!)

It has got costly yes. My mum has big gardens and slow to pay for help. Find a mean streak at times. Im not minted and trying to pay my own stuff. Think they forget we our own bills

Who cares if you don’t plan to have children? the point is that you will be enjoying plenty of stuff younger generations won’t.

@GrandmasCat

Who cares if you don’t plan to have children? the point is that you will be enjoying plenty of stuff younger generations won’t.

Which I literally just fully acknowledged..... So not sure on your point here?

It's perfectly normal when people assume somone is having children to correct them if you're not. At no point did I say there was not a difference in generational opportunities. I literally said the opposite. Tbb it just sounds like you're getting pissy because I had the audacity to reply not fully accepting your comment. When actually I'd agreed with you on the whole.

I'd also say just because each generation is in many ways having it worst than the previous one, we shouldn't just accept it and be greatful for our lot. Which I what you seem to be implying. Access to steady employment, housing and education shouldn't be considered a privlidge.

This came from a pp saying my parents generation /my parents in particular had massively benefited from unearned wealth. Do you not think that this has a knock on effect? As an example the housing market isn't just effecting my generation but all of those younger too. So the generational wealth inequality is problematic not just for me who will have it better than those younger.

So I'm not sure on your point? Is it that my generation don't have it as bad as younger ones so we should be greatful? Like I said at the start of my post I'd fully acknowledge it is getting worse for every generation so no sure what you want hete/what your point is?

It’s not true that every generation has it worse than the one previous to it. Every generation has its challenges.

Boomers may have bought property relatively cheaply but paid 15% interest on their mortgages during a massive recession. Only 5-10% of them had access to higher education.

Generation X had slightly higher property prices accompanied by greater access to higher education - with relatively small loans - and easy access to mortgages. Most of them will benefit from their parents’ property wealth - a good deal of which will probably be passed straight on to their children.

I agree with Blossomtoes.
When I arrived in London in 1981 it was almost impossible to find a decent rental. Also recall tax rates of 60% in the 80s and interest rates of 15%. Plus the late 80s financial crash which stretched into the early 90s. It's all swings and roundabouts. Also let's not forget mat leave which used to be 6 months and in the early 60s was non existent. My MIL had to leave her teaching job before she showed and there was no job to return to. Lots of families without indoor wcs and ch also.

When I left school in 1978 it was still not unusual for girls to be pushed into secretarial jobs, cordon bleu cookery, etc, rather than uni because they would only work for a few years!

I appreciate children in their mid 20s need more help or find it harder to get onto the property ladder but they will also in many cases benefit from inheritances not afforded previous generations and property prices are cyclical. Personally I think we are in for a rollercoaster of higher inflation, much higher extrapolating into higher interest rates and a flattening and lowering in real terms of property prices over the next 5 years. The country is bankrupt, Boris has been printing money and I think we all need to hang on tight!

Prices have gone up. She is right.

Personally I think we are in for a rollercoaster of higher inflation, much higher extrapolating into higher interest rates and a flattening and lowering in real terms of property prices over the next 5 years. The country is bankrupt, Boris has been printing money and I think we all need to hang on tight!
This is spot on @RosesAndHellebores things are going to get bumpy!

They absolutely are. The next few years are going to be very tough indeed for a lot of people. Particularly those who have bought houses in the last few months - top of the market and relying on virtually non existent interest rates.

Yes, I remember those weeks when mortgage rates went up to 15%. Thankfully they went down again, fairly swiftly, but they were still much, much higher than they are now. For the entire duration of our mortgage (around 30 years, as we extended) we were lucky if we got the interest rate down to 5%.

It’s is not just interest rates of 15% but taxes where higher too.
In my first job income tax was 30%. And my single person tax allowance was under£1400.

As I say to my DS who thinks we've all fucked the world up for him... When I left school it was the highest unemployment rates ever, highest interest rates, higher taxation etc but I still managed to get a job and buy a flat after coming from poverty, through massive inflation and strikes and very little benefits as a child which obvs my parents had to deal with.

I think expectations are different. SOme DC seem to think that they should be able to buy a 3 bed new build as soon as they hit adulthood. We all started in cheapest one beds and traded our way up. I appreciate that you can save taxes etc by less frequent moving but if you can't afford then you can't. We also made do with hand down furniture etc. When I had my first flat during peak interest rates, I had to live on plain pasta and no going out for a long time.

I pointed out that where we live. if someone had a standard call centre job, they could still afford a one bed flat to rent or buy so pretty much the same as when I was young. They couldn't however afford that in London. His comment then was what if thats where he wanted to live? I pointed out that despite working for nearly 40 years and having a very lovely lifestyle and supporting him through Uni, if I wanted to live in London, I couldn't either! The point is I guess that they see things that people have done that have made it worse for them as deliberate acts of sabotage whereas people were just living their lives and were actually thinking about their children as well. Things that they do now could make life worse for future generations but they wont necessarily know it.

Thing is, a 1 bed flat here (market town, cheapest in Wiltshire) averages £140k in an area where the average salary is probably mid £20k. If you're already renting, eating plain pasta isn't going to be enough to save a £40k deposit (nearly 2 years salary), stamp duty and legal fees.

As i said, it depends on where you are.

I just did a search based on within 5 miles of the city where I live and got 70 hits under 80k. if i ignore the POA, plots of land and caravan parks, i'd say maybe 50 places ranging from £14k upwards, you could get a nice flat in a decent area for around £60k.

The flat I had where i used to live initially is in a very popular city and would cost about half what my entire house in a very nice area in a different city is worth now.

I'm agreeing it can be very hard and property ladder is really one of the worst things for young folks in many many places but it's certainly not impossible depending on how flexible they are able to be about where they want to live.

@ToykotoLosAngeles

Thing is, a 1 bed flat here (market town, cheapest in Wiltshire) averages £140k in an area where the average salary is probably mid £20k. If you're already renting, eating plain pasta isn't going to be enough to save a £40k deposit (nearly 2 years salary), stamp duty and legal fees.

You don’t need a £40k deposit for a £140k flat. You need £14k. No stamp duty for first time buyers and around £1k legal costs. It’s perfectly possible for a couple on that salary to have a £126k mortgage.

My first house was an extended 3 bedroom 1930’s semi with garage and garden in liveable condition on the Kent/London border. My DH and I bought it 25 years ago on one salary, I used my student loans as the 5% deposit, we got a 5% cash back mortgage and used the 5% to pay for our wedding the following month. That same house is about 425k now (it has been upgraded inside).

@Blossomtoes A couple, sure, not 1 person on £22k. Too many salary multiples.

[quote ToykotoLosAngeles]@Blossomtoes A couple, sure, not 1 person on £22k. Too many salary multiples.[/quote]
It’s always been hard for one person to buy.