Mum seems obsessed with the cost of things.

[Neondisco]

My mum seems increasingly obsessed with the cost of things. She's in her early 60s and still works a few days a week. My dad is retired. They live in a house worth around 650k (in the North) and have a few 100k from my dad's early retirement /redundancy. He gets a pension. So not hard up.

But increasingly every conversion I have we end up talking about the cost of things. Particularly food and drink. She's adamant that food and drink have massively increased in cost since lockdown. Both in shops and hospitality.she thinks many places are trying to claw loat money back.

I'm a bit worried she's stressed about money, although I'm not sure why she would be. I'm also a bit worried about why she's latched onto this as a thing. Or have things actually gone up and I haven't noticed? It's obviously not massively effecting me before anyone asks! Apart from I just have to nod along to he talking about it. I'm also a little bit sad that she is maybe not doing things she would enjoy because of her perception she's now being ripped off. It does seem ever so slightly defensive.

Just wondering if anyone else has family members like this an/or if I'm being unreasonable and prices have gone up since lockdown? So my mum is actually right?

@GiantToadstool

Its conversation too. Id be irritated if a friend just said "you can afford it though" rather than joining in!

Good job I don't say that then.

Didn't imply anywhere that I did or my mum was annoyed. But ok.

@ShortBacknSides

She’s getting older, it’s a thing lots of them do.

Oh fuck off with the ageism - referring to a woman in her early sixties as "them" and assuming early sixties means "old."

You wait, you just wait.

👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

The ageism on this thread is some of the worst I’ve ever seen on MN - and it’s a high bar.

@caughtinanet

Could you do a new thread on where you shop that hasn't increased their prices, pretty much everything is more expensive than pre-covid/brexit

There are some things in the supermarket that literally go up in large jumps from one week to the next, how can you not have noticed

I didn't say where I shopped hadn't increased their prices. I just said I hadn't noticed. I'd say they are different things.

Not sure why people are getting so salty about my lack of notice? I buy a similar selection of stuff on a regular basis. I need it so wouldn't always look at individual cost per item.

I don't need to track my spending really closely, not rich just no children. So I'm not looking at my weekly shop going oh it's gone up as it always varies anyway. One week I might spend £60 the next £150 so probably just not doing the direct comparison to a similar sized shop.
Because I have to have food. So as a pp said what can you do?

Prices have gone up, I'm about the same age as your mum and one think we have thought is that with the state of the NHS we may need to pay for some health stuff privately, if we needed a hip or knee replacement, things like that that are not seen as urgent but make your life quite uncomfortable if they are not done so it is good to keep some savings kept by.

I too am surprised that OP hasn't noticed price changes. Look at petrol, for a start. Eye-watering

Petrol is still below the price it was 10-15 years ago. I remember paying £1.50 a litre for diesel in a supermarket.

I don't have a lot of sympathy for people like the OPs parents TBH. They have a level of unearned wealth that people 20-30 years younger than them can only dream of.

They're virtual millionaires and they have options. They could move to a smaller house that would still be very spacious and suitably located for them and release more money than they know what to do with. It's not like they have to worry about not affording food, being able to put the heating on, or do what they like, within reason.

Yes some things have increased in price, the value of their house for a start. Imagine being a young family these days, trying to find somewhere to live and the sellers wanting probably 10 times what they paid for it when they were the same age.

I know I said it already in reference to a particular post but the ageism isn't OK.

I'm honestly really sorry if anything in my op implied I was being ageist. I just gave my mum's age and didn't imply it was due to age. So if this has brought out the shitty agesit comments I'm sorry. But I hope it wasn't me setting a tone.

Older women, including my mum are not just sitting at home with nothing valuable to contribute or experience.

Anyway pp's mentioning fixed income and size if house. I agree It is too big and might have this chat again. I think although she's not on a fixed income she obviously aware of looming retirement. So this is probably a factor. Which I do try to be sensitive to.

I also think pp's who have mentioned my dad are in to something too. I think he just spends as he wants. Within reason, but would just go for drinks or buy what he needed!

Thanks for all the comments because although I posted in a bit of a light hearted way I was a bit worried. So know that in fact things have gone up makes me feel she's not just talking about nothing! So not as worried iyswim.

Also good points about income growing up and the 70s. I'm sure seeing that inflation was scary. She did grow up in a lower income family, just traditional working class not in massive amounts of poverty.

Imagine being a young family these days, trying to find somewhere to live and the sellers wanting probably 10 times what they paid for it when they were the same age

And having to pay ten times the price for the house they buy. It doesn’t matter what the value of your house is, it’s fairy money until you sell it.

She's not wrong though. Prices have definitely gone up.

@BarbaraofSeville
I don't have a lot of sympathy for people like the OPs parents TBH. They have a level of unearned wealth that people 20-30 years younger than them can only dream of.

Get out of my head! I totally identify with this. A huge amount of their money is from property.

So although I understand all the points made I do feel this too. Especially as we really struggled to get in the property ladder. So it can feel hard in their 650 k + house acting like things are hard

But equally I understand you can't pull money out of the wall as a pp helpfully said!

@WoodPell

Where in "the North"? My parents live in Yorkshire and embody the "How much?!" stereotype.

My husband once said ‘how much’ very loudly over the cost of 2 slices of ham, I was mortified. True Northern Man

Partly age, partly personality no doubt but I think it's probably mostly due to the pack they have a finite pot of money and if they dip into savings it can't be replenished. I wonder if sitting down with them and making a spreadsheet of outgoings would help, plan inflation into it so they can see where their financial position will be in 10 & 15 years time if they spend at the same rate and your mum is retired. I did this with my parents and dad finally retired because he could see that even at 5% inflation and no interest on savings they had enough capital to live their current lifestyle until 90

@foxandbee

There is a vast oversupply of labour

So why is there a shortage of HGV drivers?

There are several reasons including the backlog of driving tests but some of them are still on furlough at the moment. Devaluation of our currency at a rapid rate doesn't attract people to work either domestically or from abroad. There are many people not willing to work while inflation is running at double digits wages aren't keeping up. The pingdemic with thousands of healthy people on the sick every day isn't helping either.

Sheds for instance. We've been meaning to buy a second shed for a couple of years now and only geting round to it this year. Two years ago the one we wanted was about £550 and now it's £750. That's quite a jump in amyone's book.

I'm like your Mum, OP! I'm astonished at how much things have gone up. I'm very lucky not to be hard up, but I like to budget and have really seen the impact of increased prices - especially going out to eat.

I don't want to derail, but @caughtinanet, but Brexit has had an impact on availability of HGV drivers.

Ah, so this isn't so much a thread about your poor mum and her "obsession", as it is a thread to perpetuate ageism and tell us yet again how baby boomers have it so good and how hard done by the present generation is. Lovely.

@knittingaddict

Sheds for instance. We've been meaning to buy a second shed for a couple of years now and only geting round to it this year. Two years ago the one we wanted was about £550 and now it's £750. That's quite a jump in amyone's book.

wood has gone up a lot. My Dsis got a quote for some decking to be done last year and didn't do it. Got new quotes this year and it had nearly doubled. In the end they bought the wood (not an easy task to get either) and did it themselves on a smaller scale and it cost nearly as much as last years quote even with no labour.

With a house of that value they really don't have any money worries do they. They could downsize, or enter into one of those equity release schemes - they used to be a bit dodgy but there are some reputable ones about now. My mum did it and I was thrilled that she spent the last few years of her life being able to have lunch out and treat herself to a few things, rather than struggling on her pension.

I don't talk about it, but I notice it, and I'm just in my 40s! 😂

I'd treat this as I treat any situation where someone talks about something I don't find interesting, agree with, want to discuss, etc. Nod, make noncommittal noises that can be interpreted as "yes, absolutely, you're right!", then move the conversation to other topics as soon as politely possible.

If you're worried, you can ask if they're doing okay and encourage them to do things they enjoy, but most likely it's just something she's noticing more lately. It's a common concern for people who are retired or near retirement, and for some people, complaining about rising prices is almost a hobby. It's no different than complaining about the weather or politics, for many.

Erm… I am not even close in age to your mum but I agree with her, costs for food have increased at least 20% since Brexit and restaurants about 25%-30%.

It may not be that she is getting obsessed, it may only be that she has more time and more fixed consumption routines to notice. How much they own is irrelevant, it is not as if they can eat the house and they may not yet be prepared to let it go.

100k in savings sounds like much but it is only 5 years of salary for someone with a 20k a year income.

Sorry but this made me chuckle - note that 2 lines under the OP, there's a thread complaining of increasing prices.
Maybe your mum is right!

I'm in my early 60's, after reading this thread its made me think I should be worrying more about the cost of food as it seems I am now classed as old and that is what is expected of me. I've actually been thinking lately that its lovely not having to watch the pennies like I did when when the dc's were young and we had a mortgage to pay, I worried about prices going up then, does no-one younger worry about money anymore? It seems I got it the wrong way round.

My DH is only early 50s and he's been going on about the price of washing machines and dryers .

Oh and the amount of building work going on in the south east .... I'm not looking forward to retirement . I might keep working!

@knittingaddict

Ah, so this isn't so much a thread about your poor mum and her "obsession", as it is a thread to perpetuate ageism and tell us yet again how baby boomers have it so good and how hard done by the present generation is. Lovely.

I have said many times ageism isn't ok. So clearly isn't the intention of the thread.

But we can't deny the generational differences in wealth. That is not to say this applies to everyone of that generation. But there are statistically backed up wealth inequalities.

She’s getting older, it’s a thing lots of them do

She's only early 60s!