Mum seems obsessed with the cost of things.

[Neondisco]

My mum seems increasingly obsessed with the cost of things. She's in her early 60s and still works a few days a week. My dad is retired. They live in a house worth around 650k (in the North) and have a few 100k from my dad's early retirement /redundancy. He gets a pension. So not hard up.

But increasingly every conversion I have we end up talking about the cost of things. Particularly food and drink. She's adamant that food and drink have massively increased in cost since lockdown. Both in shops and hospitality.she thinks many places are trying to claw loat money back.

I'm a bit worried she's stressed about money, although I'm not sure why she would be. I'm also a bit worried about why she's latched onto this as a thing. Or have things actually gone up and I haven't noticed? It's obviously not massively effecting me before anyone asks! Apart from I just have to nod along to he talking about it. I'm also a little bit sad that she is maybe not doing things she would enjoy because of her perception she's now being ripped off. It does seem ever so slightly defensive.

Just wondering if anyone else has family members like this an/or if I'm being unreasonable and prices have gone up since lockdown? So my mum is actually right?

If they struggle to live on their current income then they could find money stressful. If they have spent a lifetime adding to their savings then to start dipping into them will be worrying.

They could gave 30 years of reduced income and household maintenance ahead.

It might be an idea to plant seeds about downsizing “when the time is right for them”. Obviously it might not be the case for your parents but it is a shame when older people live in and heat only a room or two while a house falls into disrepair so perhaps if they say they can’t afford to get x,y,z fixed or have the heating on etc you could use those opportunities to suggest moving somewhere easier to look after and heat.

I concur with your mother things have gone up. If the price is the ‘same’ there has been product shrink-flation instead and in some cases you can taste ingredient substitution for cheaper production costs. Has anyone popped along to suggest she might have dementia yet - what with her being over 21 an’ all ?

I put it down to boredom/lack of focus. My neighbours retired last year and have nothing to do but whinge, about prices, admin, other neighbours etc. I'm too busy!

Prices have definitely gone up. Rather sneakily as well. 10-20% increase on a lot of things. £1 item suddenly costs £1.20.

Look after the pennies and the pounds will take care of themselves-that's how they've got by to have such a high income and she probably wants to hold onto that.

Just to add that this could also be a sign of decline in your mum’s health/mental health too. If she is talking about prices/worrying about them in a way that stops ordinary conversation or seems not socially “normal” then it might be worth asking her to have a chat with her GP.

Am not sure what the value of the house matters in this tbh - its not like you can just pull a couple of 50s out the wall before going to the supermarket, is it?

It's a generation thing probably. I'm asset rich and have savings but my weekly income is just basic state pension. I was brought up in a working class family who were always frugal and made sure they never got into debt. It's just the way some of us are. I'm very careful with shopping on a weekly basis and like to get good deals but, if I really wanted something like a new car, I would splash out and buy it. My family think I'm weird but I tell them they won't complain about my frugal ways when they receive their their inheritance.

Some people are just like that. Certainly we know people who are!!

But if it's new, perhaps it's thoughts of retirement- she and your Dad may be OK for money now but are thinking ahead. Or it could be that it's just a topic she hears a lot from friends and just continues with it herself.

My dad went through a phase of being very concerned by cost. He was not poor in retirement, but I think he went through a phase where being on a pension impacted on his mentality. This culminated in him walking out of restaurants (which we had invited him to and were paying for), where he felt they were expensive. He did get a bit better over time, but we had to adapt somewhat given he did get quite anxious at times.

She’s absolutely right. Prices have increased significantly over the last 18 months.

Why? Brexit, which we voted for, & Covid, which we obviously didn’t.

Brexit means that there are now far fewer EU workers in the U.K. to do service industry work, so wages have had to increase. Qualified chefs & HGV drivers can name their price at the moment. Covid has also piled additional costs onto business. These increased costs will inevitably be reflected in prices.

@EadnothTheStaller

My nan used to drive me mad going on about the price of stuff, and my MIL did too. I mean, things get more expensive over time, everyone knows that, right?

Except, I've just hit my fifth decade and suddenly I find my concept of what things cost can't keep up with inflation and I find myself shocked, frequently, at the price of things! So maybe it comes to us all in the end? I don't know.

I do try not to go on about it though.

Give it another 20 years.

My parents are like this.

God, my Nan and Mum are like this! Obsessed with the cost of things. Neither hard up. Mum well off... does my head in!

When your Mum was a kid in the 1970s there really was crazy inflation and everyone used to complain about it, plus stockpile stuff like tins of sardines (or maybe that was just my Mum).

Maybe things going up a bit makes her feel a bit worried?

I think this is something a lot of older people do.

My dad isn't well-off, but he doesn't spend his full pension (which isn't high) and has some savings. Despite this, he mithers and comments about the cost of everything, even things which cost pennies and he can definitely afford.

I think maybe his perceptions of what is reasonable haven't caught up with inflation! Also, when people get old they seem to obsess over little things much more. Maybe it's down to having less to occupy their minds in many cases.

My mum is like this. She is in her 80s and doesn’t do her own shopping any more . She found it hard to believe a four pack of nectarines was £2.00 and a block of cheese nearly a fiver. Prices have risen of late but she has always commented .

Regardless of wealth or otherwise, I think that knowing you now have a finite amount of money to live on and can't just get a job/a better paying job or whatever, kicks in.

I was trying to explain this to my DC.

And yes, the cost of things have gone up in the main.

I'm more puzzled by the fact that you haven't noticed how prices have gone up since Covid and Brexit.

She’s getting older, it’s a thing lots of them do

She's early 60s. Most women that age are still at work.

OP: Has she always had money or did she grow up poor?

She is spot on about food and drink prices which have gone up significantly over the last year - part covid, part Brexit but generally more expensive.

Is it true that things have gone up by that much? People are suggesting by as much as 30% in a year?! Is there some way of verifying this - isn’t there some kind of cost of living index or something?

I think the issue is, a. it is boring to talk about, and b. if this is a change in her behaviour I would worry about early onset dementia.

Prices have gone up globally:
'Global food commodity prices fell in June for the first time in 12 months, according to a benchmark United Nations report released today.

The FAO Food Price Index averaged 124.6 points in June 2021, down 2.5 percent from May, but still 33.9 percent higher than its level in the same period last year.'
www.fao.org/news/story/en/item/1415065/icode/

Could be age. Could be boredom and she’s latched on to the one thing she can easily occupy herself with. Or it could be deflection - in that she’s stressed about something else entirely but obsessing about prices/money as a method of self distraction

Being retired means you do not have the same income coming in. Yes, I find my grocery bill has increased greatly. Perhaps she is a little concerned about the constant price rises. If you are worried, take her out for a coffee and ask her how things are. When you live on a pension, it's a lot less money. In my experience anyway.

33.9% higher than last year is huge, though it's partly because some countries have had it really, really bad over the past year. We're relatively lucky, but it's still noticeable here.