Mum seems obsessed with the cost of things.

[Neondisco]

My mum seems increasingly obsessed with the cost of things. She's in her early 60s and still works a few days a week. My dad is retired. They live in a house worth around 650k (in the North) and have a few 100k from my dad's early retirement /redundancy. He gets a pension. So not hard up.

But increasingly every conversion I have we end up talking about the cost of things. Particularly food and drink. She's adamant that food and drink have massively increased in cost since lockdown. Both in shops and hospitality.she thinks many places are trying to claw loat money back.

I'm a bit worried she's stressed about money, although I'm not sure why she would be. I'm also a bit worried about why she's latched onto this as a thing. Or have things actually gone up and I haven't noticed? It's obviously not massively effecting me before anyone asks! Apart from I just have to nod along to he talking about it. I'm also a little bit sad that she is maybe not doing things she would enjoy because of her perception she's now being ripped off. It does seem ever so slightly defensive.

Just wondering if anyone else has family members like this an/or if I'm being unreasonable and prices have gone up since lockdown? So my mum is actually right?

I get so tired of women being called 'old' if they are 45 plus on this thread. Old is 80 plus to me.

Regardless of wealth or otherwise, I think that knowing you now have a finite amount of money to live on and can't just get a job/a better paying job or whatever, kicks in

Exactly this. dh and I are retired, comfortably, not short of money. For now. Just had to fork out for a new roof and also notice the outside of the house is going to need repainting before the year is out.

The money we do have saved isn't going to last forever. Who knows what expense might crop up in the next few years? It's not exactly a worry, but it does make you aware of rising outgoings. And yes, prices have risen a lot in the last year or so.

Yes things have gone up.
Yes retiring brings with it a drop in income and more time to think about the cost of things.
I looked at a pair of Clarke's shoes on-line yesterday £79! £79 for Clarke's.

@CatherineAragon

I get so tired of women being called 'old' if they are 45 plus on this thread. Old is 80 plus to me.

No, old age comes much earlier than that. Being old isn't the issue, it's the contempt shown on MN for older people that is the problem.

Prices have definitely increased! And she will remember prices being a lot lower years ago so will think things are super expensive

I've always had a good income and spent (and saved) fairly freely. This year I am 65 and will retire in 12 months. Suddenly the knowledge that, with pensions, money is finite and new jobs, pay rises etc. are not going to be coming along anymore is making me feel abit like your mother, OP.
I think most of us will notice things going up, certainly in the supermarkets and nice good quality clothes too will only be for me if there is a sale on.
When you get to retirement you also need to think about things like funding house improvements or maintenance, no option to increase the non existent mortgage or use a bonus anymore. It is all a bit sad but the mindset that creeps up on you.

I do agree with her though, inflation over the last decade has been awful.

I remember starting doing an online food shop in 2014 and could easily do a generous shop plus toiletries for £50/£55. Now I'd be lucky to get it to £90.

Holidays have increased, houses, rents, furniture, cars - all of it.

Does your DM have access to money, I know she works but does it all go to her DH and she doesn’t get to spend much of it?

@Jerseygirl12

Does your DM have access to money, I know she works but does it all go to her DH and she doesn’t get to spend much of it?

Yes she does have access to money. They have a joint account where their earnings go. Not sure on savings etc. But my mum deals with finances so I'd be surprised if not!

I had been thinking exactly the same re access to money. Sometimes money might not be tight but the purse strings are

Definitely gone up! Menus in restaurants have been reprinted and things that were less than or around a tenner are now like 12 quid (veggie burger for example). Our weekly supermarket shop comes to a good couple of £10s more

@TawnyPipit

She’s getting older, it’s a thing lots of them do

She's only early 60s!

I said getting older, not that she’s old.

I’m in my late 60s and though my income has halved since I finished my last job, and I have to be a bit more careful with money, I can’t say I’ve seen significant increases in the price of food and drink, which is still remarkably cheap in this country. Or in anything really. It seems odd that someone so well off (relatively) is so concerned about this.

I often find well off people worry about money or are concerned about prices. My friend’s DF has about half a million in savings and continuously mentions the price of a coffee and cake out.

I also haven't seen anything like the price increases suggested on this thread, but it seems like you're not allowed to disagree. There have been some increases, but not on everything, and rarely as large as those claimed.

I live in a seaside town so that might make a difference but GS was just telling me that prices have gone up 20% this week in the restaurant where he has a part time job. Rip the tourists off?

In fairness I am early 30’s and went to asda before after the gym for bread and ketchup. I didn’t have my purse with me but had £3 in the car. I was shocked that it was £3 for a loaf of bread and a small tomato sauce. I never really rigistar the price of shopping but it felt expensive.

Prices have very definitely gone up over the last couple of years. I have seen it in my grocery bills and also that when I phone stuff like sky to ask how to reduce the cost, they are now very eager to help in order to hold onto custom. I think they are seeing folk not just negotiating but genuinely unable to afford to keep on with subscriptions.

Its also important to recognise that they no longer have earnings! They can't expect payrises, promotions and so on, its not called a fixed income for nothing, its a very different mindset.

But they have 'a few 100k' in savings, a private pension and a paid for house. Who cares if it's fixed? It's 100% secure unlike income from employment and they have a huge amount of money.

Re the ketchup, bread, Sky etc, if you're paying full price for any of those, then you're a fool and it's been that way for years.

Maybe try to get to the bottom of her worries and help her however you can

But we can't deny the generational differences in wealth. That is not to say this applies to everyone of that generation. But there are statistically backed up wealth inequalities.

Rest reassured that you will be seen exactly in the same way by your children, the children of your children and so on.

With so many difficulties younger generations face, it might be a good idea to stay in a big house that may allow for multi generational living.

I have had a plan to split the house in two to create some rental income for my retirement. The way the things are looking, the second flat may end up housing my teen boy and his family in due course.

By the way, it is not really that straight forward to sell a big house to release equity.

I looked into it at some point but, the CT and service charge for a small flat was far more than what I pay in CT and mortgage in my big house, so it didn’t make sense to move from a house that has been going up in price forever to a new house/flat that will depreciate for a few years.

So I am staying put while my knees allow me as keeping the house is a better and safer investment than selling it, but a house I like less and invest the remaining money in unpredictable funds and shares.

This seems typical as people get older. In laws live in a house that is literally falling apart. Eg the front door is rotten a five year old could kick it in.
However they refuse to have anything done as it’s ‘too expensive’. Found out recently they have £200k in savings.

@GrandmasCat

But we can't deny the generational differences in wealth. That is not to say this applies to everyone of that generation. But there are statistically backed up wealth inequalities.

Rest reassured that you will be seen exactly in the same way by your children, the children of your children and so on.

With so many difficulties younger generations face, it might be a good idea to stay in a big house that may allow for multi generational living.

I have had a plan to split the house in two to create some rental income for my retirement. The way the things are looking, the second flat may end up housing my teen boy and his family in due course.

I don't have any children. Nor will I be having any.

One of the reasons I'm child free is because we are making things increasingly worse for younger generations. As a millenial I feel I have a shitty deal compared to my parents generation. But I'm fully aware many things are getting worse for younger generations. For example I started uni the last year the fees were approx 1k per year. My sister had to pay 9k per year for her uni fees. My MA fees were 6k but I did have to pay them upfront (paid entirely myself) where as now they are much more.

Just one example of younger generations having a raw deal of what was already a raw deal.

@Fairyliz

This seems typical as people get older. In laws live in a house that is literally falling apart. Eg the front door is rotten a five year old could kick it in. However they refuse to have anything done as it’s ‘too expensive’. Found out recently they have £200k in savings.

My parents did this but not because they couldn’t afford it but because they didn’t want the upheaval of having work done. It’s much easier to say it’s too expensive.