AIBU or is this baby?

[ShielaSaz]

There's this baby I know who has recently decided that every moment he is awake, it is appropriate to SHOUT. It doesn't matter where we are either (he seems to follow me everywhere), at home, in the shops, during my routine eye test the other day (the only time he actually stopped was to take a giant dump much to the amusement of the optician who was trying to remain professional).

When it first started, I thought something may be up so being a good mum person, checked on him. But no, there is no crying, no frustration, this kid thinks it's hilarious.

I've politely asked him to stop but it's made no difference and I'm sure I saw a little middle finger go up at one point although I may have hallucinated that part.

My husband is at work during the day so is only subjected to this for a few hours in the evening. He thinks it's funny and actually encourages it, shouting back! LTB?

Anyway, what should I do about this my shouting baby? I should at least log it with 101 right? Will my MP be interested?

@Maggiesgirl.

@ReeseWitherfork mine does the raspberry thing. Totally inappropriate and unreasonable.

OP sending you all the best and hope you get the help you need soon. If In doubt check the manufacturers instructions.

Can the noise be reduced with a standard household remote control? If not, have you considered placing the source of the noise behind a bamboo screen (don't plant real bamboo or eucalyptus UNLESS IN POTS as otherwise they grow too quickly).

We realised our second model had malfunctioned when it reached five years past release date and announced one day that it was a One Direction fan.

🤣🤣🤣 after ready the ‘scariest moments of your life thread’ I needed this.

I blame social media reality TV and bloody footballers!!!

Have you got a staple gun, by any chance? That reduces the noise to a loud hum at worst, in my experience, and you can always use earplugs to deal with that.
HTH.

It's probably a bit too late to put him back? I still occasionally threaten DD with this. She's 9.

I think you need a little Korean lady to sit in your garden.

I'd contact the church. An exorcism is definitely required!

I’d trade him in for a better model, he’s clearly defective

@Costumeidea and this whole entire thread has just driven home the fact that I really should have worked on my pelvic floor more when pg.

Excellent thread 😂😂

Have you tried unplugging it and after a couple of minutes, plugging it back in to reset it?
If the suggestions on here fail OP, then I'd suggest giving it to charity otherwise before you know it, it will have grown in size and will be emitting a strange grunting noise from the corner of a skip that used to be a bedroom, which will only be stopped by throwing food at it several times a day.

Have you tried duct tape? Would alleviate the issue of calling you mum later on down the line.

@CallMeRisley

LTB Leave the baby

I like that this applies here, but also to many men-children

I’ve started grey rock with mine OP however, she’s started grey rocking me back. Wish I could help but I’m failing miserably and I dare not take her to see someone from the church as she has developed an evil growl….I just say ok demon and it seems to stop for a while.

I think if its within 6 months you are legally obliged to return it to the breeder rather than rehoming? Failing that, and if the house is in your name, put all it's belongings in a black bag on the doorstep and change the locks?

Get your ducks in a row and then LTB with the baby

I had the American version of that-screaming eight months straight, unless eating or asleep! His favorite place to hit the highest notes were his car seat-hard to believe he had poorly lungs and required oxygen! Then the ungrateful sod stopped one day, magically waking up happy-it was all a facade to lull me into complacency until he hit fourteen! Of course I wasn't lenient enough, strict enough, hadn't read the books and it came back to bite me in the ass! Now 21 and my advice is to drink!

put it in rice in the airing cupboard. it should be ok within 24 hrs

Cocklodger alert

You need to do more than log it with 101. Request a police visit - thus will hopefully shock him enough to mend his ways. Tough love...

This is the price we pay for so called progress.
In the past all models were designed to be seen and not heard!

Can you cancel the cheque?

Are you sure it's a baby and not a goblin? It's easy to mix them up.

OP, this is an extremely outing thread. You really should have a disclaimer asking the Daily Mail not to use for a story.