To think friend googling the cost was uncool?

[Arseholery]

I'm going to view a new car soon and was mentioned it last week to a group of friends within a conversation about someone else new car.

Saw that same group of friends last night and one of the group, Alice, mentioned the appt and said she'd had a look up and did a kind of a plumber's teeth suck about the cost.

And I said something shruggy about it is what it is.

AIBU to think she was being unreasonable?

Tell her to wind her neck in! Cheeky mare!

I always buy the same type of car (4x4). So if someone else was buying something different, I'd look it up out of interest.

"I'm getting the new Chrysler Blah Blah next week"

I'd look it up firstly to know what it was, and generally have a nosey. I quite like cars, and all the different designs. I'd look at the price, not as the main priority, but to see if I thought it was good value for the buck.

If it turned out to be £80k, I'd be thinking, Christ that's a lot for that. And I might say to my friend, "I had no idea how expensive these are!" with no ulterior motive or judgement.

The only time I'd do something passive aggressively like your friend has, is if I was annoyed about the concept. For example, I have a friend always whining that she's too broke to do this, too broke to do that, can't pay your other friend back that £150, so sorry. She then booked herself a course of full body laser hair removal. And absolutely I looked the place up and saw even on offer it was £1.5k. And about two weeks later when we all met up next, and she was doing her "I'm so poor" when something to do with money was mentioned, I absolutely said "I hope you got the 50% off your laser course, that takes it down from £3000 to £1500, if you didn't, call them and see if they'll honour it". Purely because I wanted to call her out in front of our friend that she still owes £150 for some tickets too.

Nothing like this OP?

Also, I think it depends as well on the car. If you're getting a new mainstream car, then it doesn't come across as bragging. One of my friends got a new Gallardo and he hardly told anyone before hand, because it's almost impossible to announce you are buying a brand new Lambo, without it looking like bragging. I know that's a more extreme example, but the principle is there.

@User5827372728

I do this when friends move house!!

But I don’t tell them!

@User5827372728 I think they know, surely everyone does this

@Divebar2021

Well I wouldn’t go up to a neighbour and ask how much his new car cost but surely you can ask a friend? Who gets offended by a friend asking that? This is a person you like presumably.

I wasn't asked anything!

She went away and Googled and then she brought it up the following week.

No nothing like your example, no borrowing or pleading poverty.

Wish the car was a Blah Blah now, just for the coincidence

Oh, stop being precious. If you don't want people to wonder how much you're spending on a new status symbol, don't tell them you're buying one.

Um… OP talked about having an appt to look at a car after cars were brought up, last week. Alice brings it up last night, unasked telling the group that she has looked it up and sucking her teeth at how expensive she thinks it is. It’s not a big deal obviously but it’s still rude. There was no reason to mention it.

Nothing wrong with looking it up, but telling everyone out of the blue you looked up your friends’s car and how expensive you think it is, is weird. She might as well ask how OP is going to afford it since that is pretty much what she is suggesting.

@Arseholery

No nothing like your example, no borrowing or pleading poverty.

Wish the car was a Blah Blah now, just for the coincidence

Would it of bothered you though if she hadn’t googled it. But knew the price?

@TwinsandTrifle

I always buy the same type of car (4x4). So if someone else was buying something different, I'd look it up out of interest.

"I'm getting the new Chrysler Blah Blah next week"

I'd look it up firstly to know what it was, and generally have a nosey. I quite like cars, and all the different designs. I'd look at the price, not as the main priority, but to see if I thought it was good value for the buck.

If it turned out to be £80k, I'd be thinking, Christ that's a lot for that. And I might say to my friend, "I had no idea how expensive these are!" with no ulterior motive or judgement.

The only time I'd do something passive aggressively like your friend has, is if I was annoyed about the concept. For example, I have a friend always whining that she's too broke to do this, too broke to do that, can't pay your other friend back that £150, so sorry. She then booked herself a course of full body laser hair removal. And absolutely I looked the place up and saw even on offer it was £1.5k. And about two weeks later when we all met up next, and she was doing her "I'm so poor" when something to do with money was mentioned, I absolutely said "I hope you got the 50% off your laser course, that takes it down from £3000 to £1500, if you didn't, call them and see if they'll honour it". Purely because I wanted to call her out in front of our friend that she still owes £150 for some tickets too.

Nothing like this OP?

Also, I think it depends as well on the car. If you're getting a new mainstream car, then it doesn't come across as bragging. One of my friends got a new Gallardo and he hardly told anyone before hand, because it's almost impossible to announce you are buying a brand new Lambo, without it looking like bragging. I know that's a more extreme example, but the principle is there.

Ha. I just went to look at a Volvo XC90. Which made me go woozy!

I never knew the price of those!

@Nocutenamesleft I've actually got one of those at the mo. Don't buy one. Nice to look at. Drives like it has an asthmatic weasel under the bonnet, and corners horribly. Ironically, for a Volvo, it's the only car I've had where I feel uneasy/unsafe behind the wheel.

I’m baffled that someone would google to see how much someone’s car costs, and then admit to it.

Mind you, I don’t drive and find cars very boring so wouldn’t give a flying duck. But, houses and refurbs: I want to see everything about the house your planning to buy, and everything about the refurb: not interested in cost though

As with some other activities, most people might do it but usually best not done or mentioned in front of friends in public.

@Arseholery

I'm going to view a new car soon and was mentioned it last week to a group of friends within a conversation about someone else new car.

Saw that same group of friends last night and one of the group, Alice, mentioned the appt and said she'd had a look up and did a kind of a plumber's teeth suck about the cost.

And I said something shruggy about it is what it is.

AIBU to think she was being unreasonable?

You know what I don't talk about when chatting with friends? Boring stuff like buying cars.

If you tell your friend that you are going to view a new car and tell them the make and model - why are you doing it? Status? Are you looking to impress them? It's not a normal conversation topic (unless your old car has died a spectacular death recently, and you were talking about that).

If you don't want people to notice or comment on the money you're spending, why mention your expensive purchases?

It was more a "ohh that starts from £efg, gosh"

You said you weren't bragging or comparing but actually this suggests to me that you were.

If she'd have been more like "I can't believe you're paying x amount for that kind of car" I'd kind of see your point but if she's saying "oh that's an expensive car" it seems like your friend has said "I've bought a 19 plate jag" and you've gone "I'm getting a brand new Range Rover sport soon".

She’s envious 🤷‍♀️

I’d google it too, but possibly when I got home and not mention it 😄

I think it wasn’t strange that she googled it but it’s strange that she mentioned it like she was trying to make a point.
I google house prices all the time. It became a habit after our long house hunting. I also google cars and other things very occasionally but I never mentioned it.

@Arseholery

I'm going to view a new car soon and was mentioned it last week to a group of friends within a conversation about someone else new car.

Saw that same group of friends last night and one of the group, Alice, mentioned the appt and said she'd had a look up and did a kind of a plumber's teeth suck about the cost.

And I said something shruggy about it is what it is.

AIBU to think she was being unreasonable?

that is very rude and unreasonable for her to say that to you. The correct response is to only say, oh what a lovely car, then to look it up and talk /tut tut about the outrageous cost etc, with the same group of friends minus you. we all know that... she has crossed the line.

If you told me you were getting x car, I was absolutely google it as I wouldn’t have a clue what it’s supposed to look like. Seeing as the top of google is the ‘where to buy’ section I was see a selection of prices before even checking out the specs - so I don’t think you can assume she googled specifically for the price - more likely she was taking an interest and saw the price/ was shocked at it.

But I also really don’t see what she’s massively rude either. She’s your friend. Don’t you have the odd conversation about personal things without formality occasionally?

@Pedalpushers

I would never comment on it to the friend because I think it's rude, but...

I am very nosey to a flaw and probably know the rough salaries and house prices of all of my friends. I wouldn't mind if they did the same in their own time.

i would think less of any friend who didn't do this.

Is she jealous?

Is she stingy with money?

How much money you spend on a car is your business.

She’s jealous.

@Gilly12345

Is she jealous?

Is she stingy with money?

How much money you spend on a car is your business.

sounds like it...

and a nosey wee critical bore is what she is ☺️

Sounds like my mum, she Googles the price of everything and tells you how much she disapproves or any tiny negative in the reviews.

She needs banning from Google, drives me crazy!

@KillerFlamingo

Sounds like my mum, she Googles the price of everything and tells you how much she disapproves or any tiny negative in the reviews.

She needs banning from Google, drives me crazy!

oooffftt ... 🤣

Googling the car? Absolutely fine.

Sucking her teeth denoting judgement of your decision? Absolutely shitty behaviour.

She is trying to shit on your parade. I drive a small car, I'm surrounded by people with LRs, RRs etc, I do not comment on their cars, and they don't comment on mine.