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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think friend googling the cost was uncool?

158 replies

Arseholery · 28/07/2021 17:16

I'm going to view a new car soon and was mentioned it last week to a group of friends within a conversation about someone else new car.

Saw that same group of friends last night and one of the group, Alice, mentioned the appt and said she'd had a look up and did a kind of a plumber's teeth suck about the cost.

And I said something shruggy about it is what it is.

AIBU to think she was being unreasonable? Confused

OP posts:
Blue4YOU · 28/07/2021 18:13

Is it supposed to be private what cars cost though?

midsomermurderess · 28/07/2021 18:13

'Why did you use her real name?' This is almost as bad as the wedding dress thread.

EvenMoreFuriousVexation · 28/07/2021 18:13

We're weird about money in the UK.

I remember reading in a Bill Bryson book or article years ago about how Americans are almost to the point were they'll say "Hi there, my name's Bill! What do you do and how much do you earn?" and that's not rude.

For some reason over here it's considered rude to ask "How much did that cost?" You'll read on MN people saying "I earn a decent salary" or "I earn 6 figures" but never being specific. I don't understand where this attitude comes from.

Why is it rude to ask (or mention) how much something cost, but not to ask "So how old are your kids? Boys or girls?"

Original poster
Arseholery · 28/07/2021 18:13

@Sparklingbrook

They'd have to know the exact model and spec to know exactly what price you were paying, there's quite a big jump between entry level and top of the range.
It was more a "ohh that starts from £efg, gosh"
OP posts:
Sparklingbrook · 28/07/2021 18:14

@Blue4YOU

Is it supposed to be private what cars cost though?
No, if you know the spec etc of the car you can look it up. It's the rudeness about it subsequently, that's the OP's issue.
HeartIess · 28/07/2021 18:14

My neighbour bought a new car last week, it’s seriously beautiful

I looked up the car reg to see how much it was because I’d love one

Is that ride? Genuinely not sure

Original poster
Arseholery · 28/07/2021 18:15

@midsomermurderess

'Why did you use her real name?' This is almost as bad as the wedding dress thread.
Tell me more...Grin
OP posts:
IHaveBrilloHair · 28/07/2021 18:16

I'd Google too, I just wouldn't mention it.

DontDrinkDontSmokeWhatDoIDo · 28/07/2021 18:16

@midsomermurderess

'Why did you use her real name?' This is almost as bad as the wedding dress thread.

😂😂😂 👏👏👏

Original poster
Arseholery · 28/07/2021 18:17

@Sparklingbrook

It's one thing to Google it and look the price up but another to confess to it just to be weird about it. Does she think you can't afford it or something?
I'm really not sure if she thinks I can't afford it.

We've known each other a long time, she knows I'm not the type to send the offspring down the mines and feed them gruel and twizzlers to allow me to indulge myself.

OP posts:
FittedSheet · 28/07/2021 18:17

@Sparklingbrook

It was also the only place I’ve ever lived where I actually knew someone who used to check visiting children’s school bags to see their reading book band. (She also thought ‘everyone’ did it.)

I also know of someone that did this and also had the children back for tea and 'played schools' with them to see where they were at compared to their own DC. Also a village in the Midlands. Shock

Grin

Leicestershire???

Sparklingbrook · 28/07/2021 18:19

OMG @FittedSheet, no Worcestershire. There's two of them! Shock

EmeraldShamrock · 28/07/2021 18:19

Some people are nosey. I personally couldn't be arsed, my Dsis is manic if a house sale goes through in the area she lives or previously lived she'll check the sale price, her neighbour recently bought a range rover she checked the price.
She'd tell them too.
If I buy something she'll buy the better version if she likes it.

AliceW89 · 28/07/2021 18:20

Alices are dicks. I can tell you that for free.

Nocutenamesleft · 28/07/2021 18:27

@warmandtoasty2day

fgs, unclench. it is nothing that matters.
This

Most things are public knowledge.

I’m looking at a new car. I know the cost of cars.

Who cares. It’s life. If she hadn’t of looked it up but knew the price. Likes lots of people. Would it of bothered you? Maybe she wants a new car?

ChickenpoxQ · 28/07/2021 18:27

😂 oh I thought appt meant appartment not appointment and hadn't come across "Alice" before never mind me

Touchmybum · 28/07/2021 18:28

It's hardly anything to get worked up about. It's not worth the energy being annoyed about it.

I'm basically nosey and would happily Google the price of something, but I have the good common sense to keep that to myself!!

Nocutenamesleft · 28/07/2021 18:28

@chunderwunder

Oh, stop being precious. If you don't want people to wonder how much you're spending on a new status symbol, don't tell them you're buying one.
Spot on really.

It doesn’t matter in the grand scheme of life.

Original poster
Arseholery · 28/07/2021 18:35

@chunderwunder

Oh, stop being precious. If you don't want people to wonder how much you're spending on a new status symbol, don't tell them you're buying one.
Umm.

How do I get to the next meet? They're going to know I've changed car at some point. So the outcome could be the same, just delayed.

Think it throughWink

OP posts:
Killahangilion · 28/07/2021 18:42

You’re not wrong OP.
Being nosey about what friend B’s new car will likely cost is fine.

Making a face or derogatory comments about it isn’t fine.

It’s not the issue that Alice googled the cost of a new car, it was her reaction to you wanting to spend X on a new car, that’s the issue.

Alice is being a bitch.

Sparklingbrook · 28/07/2021 18:43

Lol at 'don't tell them you are buying one'. Grin

starfishmummy · 28/07/2021 18:43

People have been doing similar for years - except then it was "That's nice, how much was it?"

But before Google it was more easy to fob them off and say something like "An arm and a leg" or " I got a really good deal in the sales".

I was taught that asking about cost was rude, so unless the person volunteers the information I don't say anything would, but google later and keep quiet about it.

Nocutenamesleft · 28/07/2021 18:47

@starfishmummy

People have been doing similar for years - except then it was "That's nice, how much was it?"

But before Google it was more easy to fob them off and say something like "An arm and a leg" or " I got a really good deal in the sales".

I was taught that asking about cost was rude, so unless the person volunteers the information I don't say anything would, but google later and keep quiet about it.

Ha.

During the pandemic. I saw a TikTok where a guy comes out of his car with a bunch of toilet roll. As he comes into view you can see he is an amputee

He says ‘bloody hell. That cost an arm and a leg’. Tittered me for days!

Divebar2021 · 28/07/2021 18:47

Well I wouldn’t go up to a neighbour and ask how much his new car cost but surely you can ask a friend? Who gets offended by a friend asking that? This is a person you like presumably.

Nocutenamesleft · 28/07/2021 18:49

@Arseholery

You only said you were thinking of buying it.

I’d just sit next time. Till she saw the car. Then when she brings it up next time then other people will think she’s weird. It will be noticed.