To find it annoying when parents let their children watch tablets in coffee shops with the volume turned up?

[Zippyzoppy]

Sat in a coffee shop just wanting to have a quiet few minutes to myself. Opposite is a Dad with his circa 4 year old who is playing games on a tablet which I can hear and is really distracting and spoiling my enjoyment of my coffee. Dad is on his iPhone.

Am I a miserable cow for finding this irritating?!

Also, anyone who says "what's wrong with having a break at home" clearly doesn't have any experience of raising small children and the relentlessness of this and the same four wall day in, day out. So their opinion on where parents should and shouldn't go is irrelevant IMO.

I am jealous that there are parents that can find a cafe/restaurant so relaxing with a child that is tough enough that you can’t relax at home!

@brewstoo you're missing my point.

@ShortBacknSides

What might look like a neurotypical child with a lazy parent using a screen may actually be a parent needing a much needed break for five minutes with their child who may not be able to use headphones.

Can I suggest that the best place for a parent to have a break like this is not a café indoors? What's wrong with a break at home, or in the garden, or a park?

🙄 ODFOD

[quote Jakie7700]@OchonAgusOchonOh The OP said the child was opposite her so could be also very likely it was on a reasonable level it's just the OP did not like that the child had it on. Unless we were present it is very difficult to tell as certain things annoy others more than another person. My po[/quote]
Presumably they were not at the same table as her so opposite would be at least the width of the table plus the gap between the two tables. If it can be heard at that distance, it's too loud.

There is never any excuse for having the volume turned on at all when playing games on an iPad (unless using headphones obviously), which is what the op said the child was doing. You do not need volume when playing games, whereas you obviously do for a video.

My issue is that adults like to judge parents for stuff like this when the parent could be struggling with a child with additional needs. How about you stop and think to yourself as long as the volume is at a reasonable level what harm is it doing?

Would you rather the offending child have a meltdown and scream the place down. Oh no of course not that would annoy you even more how dare a child with additional needs make noise. Even better let's tell the lazy son of a bitch parent to go to a park or even better stay the fuck home!

[quote feelingmehtoday]@OchonAgusOchonOh

I was addressing this particular comment:

Can I suggest that the best place for a parent to have a break like this is not a café indoors? What's wrong with a break at home, or in the garden, or a park?

Which clearly doesn't say "go where you like and show some consideration for others". It essentially says cafes are not the place for "parents". Fucking condescending bullshit. [/quote]
No. But I was replying to your post as written.

@OchonAgusOchonOh

Hence why I clarified 👍🏻

@OchonAgusOchonOh Clearly you have no or little experience in parenting a child with additional needs.
But then if you had your way they would all stay the fuck home.

Just a thought .....

@Jakie7700

My issue is that adults like to judge parents for stuff like this when the parent could be struggling with a child with additional needs. How about you stop and think to yourself as long as the volume is at a reasonable level what harm is it doing?

Would you rather the offending child have a meltdown and scream the place down. Oh no of course not that would annoy you even more how dare a child with additional needs make noise. Even better let's tell the lazy son of a bitch parent to go to a park or even better stay the fuck home!

But if another table can hear it it’s not a reasonable volume.

Being able to hear games noises like that from another table has on more than one occasion been the reason that I have had to take DS out of places before he has a meltdown.

Why does one child’s need to have volume loud enough to disturb others override the needs of everyone else in the place?

@DecorChange

Honestly i give my kids a phone when we are out. On the lowest volume. I mean would yous rather that or screaming? Wee one hates the high chair. I won't be able to eat if not. Its briefly though. Not straight away and only while I eat.

I have a grandson at one stage the only way to get him to sit in the high chair until his meal arrived was to put peppa pig on quietly.

It's a trade off sometimes

[quote CandyLeBonBon]@brewstoo you're missing my point.

[/quote]
What was your point?

I'd personally rather listen to Peppa Pig whilst sipping my coffee than a crying child.

These threads always descend into the exact same conclusion - that because you can never know if a child has additional needs, you can't ever object to what they're doing.

I accept that there are children for whom tablets are necessary AND who can't wear headphones. If that's the case, though, the volume needs to not turned up. There's no disability that I can think of that requires the use of a tablet, no headphones, and full volume.

I'm an adult with sensory issues and I have to leave spaces where electronic devices are beeping or playing loud noises on repeat, so that's my dog in this fight.

[quote Jakie7700]@OchonAgusOchonOh Clearly you have no or little experience in parenting a child with additional needs.
But then if you had your way they would all stay the fuck home.[/quote]
Please point out anywhere I suggested that anyone should stay home.

I have family members with special needs so am familiar with their needs.

However, I find it hard to believe that the only way to entertain a child, with or without special needs, is to have a device on at a high volume. Games don't need volume to be played. Videos obviously do but, unless the child is hearing impaired, there is no need to have it on at a high volume. If a child is hearing impaired, most hearing aids can be connected to devices so the sound plays directly into the aid.

I absolutely understand why a parent might use a device. I have no issue with that. What I have an issue with is the volume being turned up unnecessarily high.

@Sirzy I am not saying one child's needs trumps another when have I said that? In that situation did you ask the person making the noise to turn the volume down before leaving?
Like others have clearly pointed out some adults are more sensitive to noise than others doesn't automatically mean the volume was being blasted out espeically if it was from the table opposite so close proximity.
I do not see the harm in any child additional needs or not watching/playing games on a screen as long as the volume is reasonable.

Which clearly doesn't say "go where you like and show some consideration for others". It essentially says cafes are not the place for "parents". Fucking condescending bullshit.

Don't be ridiculous. "Being a parent" is not synonymous with "being a twat who plays videos out loud in public." One is fine. One is not.

Jakie7700 One poster has already written about why tablet noise is distressing for her, as an autistic person. She was ignored by all the posters so desperate to stick up for the needs of the neurodiverse.

@HeyDemonsItsYaGirl

Which clearly doesn't say "go where you like and show some consideration for others". It essentially says cafes are not the place for "parents". Fucking condescending bullshit.

Don't be ridiculous. "Being a parent" is not synonymous with "being a twat who plays videos out loud in public." One is fine. One is not.

Why have you taken one paragraph of my comment to someone else, out of context and quoted it whilst telling me not to be "ridiculous"?

@HeyDemonsItsYaGirl

Your comment makes zero sense in the context of the (partial) comment of mine that you have quoted.

[quote Jakie7700]@Sirzy I am not saying one child's needs trumps another when have I said that? In that situation did you ask the person making the noise to turn the volume down before leaving?
Like others have clearly pointed out some adults are more sensitive to noise than others doesn't automatically mean the volume was being blasted out espeically if it was from the table opposite so close proximity.
I do not see the harm in any child additional needs or not watching/playing games on a screen as long as the volume is reasonable.[/quote]
You shouldn’t have to though. Basic consideration says you think before you act.

If others can hear it’s not a reasonable volume. No matter how sensitive other peoples hearing are.

It is down to the people creating the noise to thing of others. I shouldn’t have to leave an increasingly distressed child while I go and ask others to show basic manners!

@OchonAgusOchonOh Another poster has already pointed out where you stated either go to the park or stay home.
I have already agreed with others posters the volume should be at a reasonable level.

[quote Jakie7700]@OchonAgusOchonOh Another poster has already pointed out where you stated either go to the park or stay home.
I have already agreed with others posters the volume should be at a reasonable level.[/quote]

It was @ShortBacknSides who said parents should stay home instead of using cafes.

90% of people voting on this thread agree with the OP.

I have read the full thread and also agree with the OP.