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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

New tenants are refusing to hand over my daughter’s parcels

334 replies

PerseverancePays · 27/07/2021 21:42

My daughter ordered £200 worth of clothes for herself and her baby from Next and forgot to put her new address on the order form. The courier has sent a photo of the door opened to her old flat with a man’s leg showing accepting the parcels. She asked her upstairs neighbour to pop down and get the parcels and hang on to them until I can get round there, but the new tenants have point blank said they’ve not had any parcels delivered !
I’m going round there tomorrow morning to show them the picture of them receiving them and seeing what they have to say about that.
If they still refuse, which is daylight robbery, would the police take any notice at all?
I’m also a bit nervous as I’m a short and small woman and easily intimidated. WWYD?

OP posts:
NumberTheory · 28/07/2021 11:24

@LordOfTheThings

Same. If your daughter goes over and can prove it's her, then yes. But otherwise, I wouldn't be handing it over to some random person.

Why would you take a parcel for someone you don't know then? I take parcels in for neighbours who I know if nor for those I don't because then it becomes my problem.

They may well just have not even realised. Delivery drivers rarely tell me the name on the parcel just, sometimes, ask mine. I never look when I accept one, just assume it will be for one of us,
MyrtlethePurpleTurtle · 28/07/2021 11:28

@DoubleTweenQueen

Isn't it illegal to open and keep a parcel not directed to you, which you didn't order? Isn't it still theft?
Yes, it is - but that won’t stop the pile on
Horst · 28/07/2021 11:33

Nobody’s saying they are going to keep it though are they.

They just haven’t given the info/parcel to a stranger neighbour who is also not the named person nor where they in at 8:30am.

For all we know they could be of been dropping it off at one of those collect plus places. Hell they could even work in a next store and of taken it in to send it back.

So much blame as so far just someone who opened a door to a delivery driver and then finds out it’s not their parcel.

NumberTheory · 28/07/2021 11:39

@MyrtlethePurpleTurtle
DoubleTweenQueen
Isn't it illegal to open and keep a parcel not directed to you, which you didn't order? Isn't it still theft?

Yes, it is - but that won’t stop the pile on

It won’t stop the “pile on” of people saying not to jump the gun to theft because it isn’t what we know has happened. We have no knowledge that the new tenants have opened the parcel and they haven’t been given enough fair opportunity to return it to infer that they intend to keep the parcel for themselves.

mam0918 · 28/07/2021 11:46

People always sending neighbor to collect things then getting mad when someone doesnt hand it over, its YOU that cant do that.

If you are in possetion of someone elses property legally you are liable for its safe keeping. You can't hand it over to a random unknown 3rd party just because they claim to know the owner because if they steal, damage, lose it you're still liable so it would be utterly stupid to hand it to the neighbor or even discuss it with them.

If you want it get off your ass and go ask for it yourself with proof of identy but bare in mind you are inconveniancing them so be nice as they arent the ones who did anything wrong.

KaptainKaveman · 28/07/2021 12:04

[quote PrettyLittleFlies]@PerseverancePays
Irregardless isn't a word.

Regardless & Irrespective are two different words. HTH

What a twattish post[/quote]
It isn't really twattish because it is factually correct. The term 'irregardless' contains both a negative prefix and suffix which has the effect of creating a self contained double negative, thereby cancelling itself out. So, whilst it might seem pedantic and not entirely relevant to the discussion at hand, it remains accurate.

HTH Wink.

BertramLacey · 28/07/2021 12:06

it would be worth keeping an eye of FB selling sites, Gumtree and Ebay to see if someone tries to sell the contents on there. If so, then there's definitely something dodgy going on. You can message the seller and arrange to buy, then turn up with proof that the stuff is in all probability yours.

I do think there's still a good chance that, presented with enough evidence of the mistake and who you are, that they will hand the parcel over. Just be polite but firm.

H8H8H8 · 28/07/2021 12:56

Tis true.

They need to appropriate dishonestly - which they hasn’t been done if you just put it in their garage. You can’t make thieves out of people simply by leaving things in their homes.

Hence my follow up comment.

Besides, OP or their daughter didn’t leave the package in someone’s home.

It was delivered… with a name that didn’t match the homeowners.

At that point, the homeowner could have rejected the delivery. They accepted it. Not, as it appears, with the intent of sending it back.

It’s theft.

H8H8H8 · 28/07/2021 12:57

^^assuming (before the pile on), that they don’t intend to send it back.

Maddison12 · 28/07/2021 13:41

@PerciphonePuma
Irregardless isn't a word.

Regardless & Irrespective are two different words. HTH

Why didn't you look up irregardless before you made an absolute tit of yourself?

KaptainKaveman · 28/07/2021 14:02

[quote Maddison12]@PerciphonePuma
Irregardless isn't a word.

Regardless & Irrespective are two different words. HTH

Why didn't you look up irregardless before you made an absolute tit of yourself?[/quote]
As previously explained, the word 'irregardless' contains a negative prefix and a negative suffix which creates a double negative, thereby cancelling itself out, in effect.

It is a word which is loosely speaking, 'in use' - in the same way that colloquialisms are in use - but it is grammatically incorrect and is nonsensical. Using the word 'irregardless' is a bit like saying 'do not not pay attention' or 'please do not not stand up'. If you said something like that it would sound stupid. Saying 'irregardless' would have the same effect. Some people use similar phrases such as 'I ain't got nothing' but grammatically speaking it's a double negative and therefore nonsensical.

Erwhatno · 28/07/2021 14:13

Good luck
Op. The cheek of some people.

Maddison12 · 28/07/2021 15:09

@KaptainKaveman
While I understand what you're saying, it's not really relevant to my post. Pp said 'irregardless is not a word', it is a word (nonsensical or otherwise) and is in the dictionary.

QuestionEverythingOrBeASheep · 28/07/2021 15:15

@PerseverancePays

My daughter ordered £200 worth of clothes for herself and her baby from Next and forgot to put her new address on the order form. The courier has sent a photo of the door opened to her old flat with a man’s leg showing accepting the parcels. She asked her upstairs neighbour to pop down and get the parcels and hang on to them until I can get round there, but the new tenants have point blank said they’ve not had any parcels delivered ! I’m going round there tomorrow morning to show them the picture of them receiving them and seeing what they have to say about that. If they still refuse, which is daylight robbery, would the police take any notice at all? I’m also a bit nervous as I’m a short and small woman and easily intimidated. WWYD?
Report it to NEXT. When you go round tell them NEXT are classifying it as theft and will be pressing charges, as they have proof they accepted the parcel. They won't know that this may not be true but it might be. Call their bluff and remain calm. If you get angry they may just dig their heels in.
QuestionEverythingOrBeASheep · 28/07/2021 15:16

@DoubleTweenQueen

Isn't it illegal to open and keep a parcel not directed to you, which you didn't order? Isn't it still theft?
This ^ Yes it is classified as theft and next will probably chase it up if they don't hand it over.
BertramLacey · 28/07/2021 15:39

It isn't really twattish because it is factually correct.

If I told my best friend she's very overweight, it would be factually correct. It would also be twattish. Some things do not need saying.

Also, depending on grammatical structure, double negatives can reinforce rather than nullify. It can be used to mean it really, really isn't. www.thefreedictionary.com/double+negative

KaptainKaveman · 28/07/2021 16:59

Your examples are completely different from 'irregardless' BertramLacey. Smile. I am trying to point out that a single word cannot in itself contain both a negative prefix AND suffix because it would in effect negate the meaning. I hope I have clarified.

KaptainKaveman · 28/07/2021 17:01

Anyway now that I have made it clear, I suggest we allow the thread to return to its original premise. Or should that be 'return back' ? Wink

SycamoreGap · 28/07/2021 19:29

@KaptainKaveman

Your examples are completely different from 'irregardless' BertramLacey. Smile. I am trying to point out that a single word cannot in itself contain both a negative prefix AND suffix because it would in effect negate the meaning. I hope I have clarified.
So can you explain why it is in the dictionary?
KaptainKaveman · 28/07/2021 20:00

My 14.02 post explains it clearly SycamoreGap Smile

KaptainKaveman · 28/07/2021 20:02

It's in some dictionaries because it is a word which has low level usage. You'll find similar 'wrong' words like 'ain't' in the dictionary too.

PerseverancePays · 28/07/2021 20:04

So I went round again at lunch time, all the windows open (ground floor flat) still no answer. I put another note through the door mentioning that we have a picture of them accepting the parcels. Still no contact from them.
Upstairs neighbour went down again when they got in from work and new tenants opened the door to them and said they had returned the parcels to Next!
What a palaver over a simple mistake. I just hope they have actually sent them back.
Thanks everyone, I did feel more confident going over even though I never did meet them.

OP posts:
EastWestWhosBest · 28/07/2021 20:31

@PerseverancePays

So I went round again at lunch time, all the windows open (ground floor flat) still no answer. I put another note through the door mentioning that we have a picture of them accepting the parcels. Still no contact from them. Upstairs neighbour went down again when they got in from work and new tenants opened the door to them and said they had returned the parcels to Next! What a palaver over a simple mistake. I just hope they have actually sent them back. Thanks everyone, I did feel more confident going over even though I never did meet them.
Judging by people on here no one answers their door anymore, so it’s not so surprising that they didn’t answer.
Maddison12 · 28/07/2021 20:32

Sorry to be a Debbie downer OP, but I bet they haven't sent it back to next. Weird how they went from no parcel having being delivered to they've now returned it. Obviously they knew the upstairs neighbour was trying to collect it so surely would have passed it on to her instead of going to the hassle of returning it Confused

DewDew83 · 28/07/2021 21:01

@NumberTheory is entirely wrong.

The Theft Act makes clear that 'appropriation' includes any assumption by a person of the right of an owner, including where that person comes across the property innocently, without stealing it, and then keeps the property.

If they refuse to return it to the owner, it is theft.