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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think my sister is being ridiculous with these comments?

306 replies

hp45 · 27/07/2021 13:28

My son is 24, he lives a few hours away with his friend, so we rarely see him especially with covid. He has mental health issues and last year he was very depressed and suicidal and his friend helped him through it.

A couple of months ago, I asked him if he wanted to come on holiday with us, he said yes but asked if his friend could come and I agreed.

We got here yesterday, and my sisters children would've had to share a room so DS and his friend got their own room, DS and his friend offered to share. Since then, my sister has been making ridiculous comments to DS, asking him why he wants to share with his friend, and asking why his friend can't go on holiday with his family.

She then said to me that, if she lived with her friend, she wouldn't want to bring them on a family holiday, I told her that it was up to DS. She then said that they're going to ruin the holiday, they're going to be doing their own thing as we will be with our younger children, so I don't see how they're going to ruin it.

Am I Bu in thinking she's being ridiculous? Or would you agree with her?

OP posts:
DuckbilledSplatterPuff · 27/07/2021 20:42

Your sister is impossible. It’s a shame you didn’t get to spend time with your son after his difficult year. I hope you get to spend some time with him and his friend over the summer.

TSSDNCOP · 27/07/2021 20:46

So if I read this correctly your sister's rather nasty attitude has now led to your son and his friend wanting to leave early, this you also miss out on time with your son.

Frankly, in your shoes I'd be leaving with them.

BillyIsMyBunny · 27/07/2021 20:54

It sounds like your sister just wants to moan!

She moaned when her kids had to share. Then your DS and his friend kindly offered to share and she’s moaning about that. No doubt if one moved to sleep on the couch she’d be annoyed that he was in a communal space. As it is they’re leaving a couple of days early and so now she’s moaning about that.

Is she always so negative when you go away or is this unusual for her?

chesterelly · 27/07/2021 20:54

I'd be laying it on the line to DSis. It is not weird for two adults to share a room. The only weirdness is her attitude. I bet she's gone away with friends and managed to resist jumping their bones. And if they are a couple so bloody what? Tell her the bond with your DS and the chance to spend time with him and his friend, who you credit with being responsible for getting DS through a really bad time trumps anything else so she has 2 choices, either straighten her face or go home and leave you to enjoy the holiday in peace.

AcrossthePond55 · 27/07/2021 21:05

There's nothing wrong or 'weird' with friends (whatever the sex or gender) sharing a room. And the presumption should be that DS and his friend are just that; friends! Anything other than that is pure, nasty speculation.

BFF and I share a room when we go to Disney. DS1 and his bandmates would share rooms when on tour. None of us are gay. It's simply cheaper than separate rooms as well as providing companionship.

One thing for sure, if I were OP I'd never take another holiday with that sister!

LatteLoverLovesLattes · 27/07/2021 21:27

Your sister sounds horrible. It's not weird to share a room at all.

I'm single. I've been on holiday with my mum, my best friend, my god daughter & we've always shared rooms. Occasionally beds. Perhaps people thought we were gay, hadn't occurred to me, but meh...it's just cheaper, plus my mum & best friend wouldn't sleep in hotel rooms by themselves.

I've travelled a lot and shared rooms. The older I've got the more I like my own room, but at 24, would have shared with anyone!!

Your daft sister had a problem with her two young kids sharing a room 🙄so the lads offered, if she had a problem eith them sharing then her two should have shared or she should have had one of them in with her then the lads wouldn't have been 'weird' and shared a room -stupid bitch.

If they are a couple, then it's a shame they didn't feel able to say they wanted to share a room from the outset.

Talk to your DS, apologise if his stupid Aunt has made either of them uncomfortable and find a way of letting him know that you'd be cool with his friend being his partner if that's is the case & if not, it's great he has such a good mate.

Scandie · 27/07/2021 21:35

Your sister is being a right dick

Fernando072020 · 27/07/2021 21:43

Your sister is just trying to find any excuse to moan and be nasty honestly.

Unsure33 · 27/07/2021 21:50

I think your sister should butt out and I hope she has not made your son move on earlier when you have not seen him for a while .

dundermifflinpapersalesman1 · 27/07/2021 21:54

Your sister is being weird. If it was 2 females would she have an issue?

NEVERENDINGST0RY · 27/07/2021 22:18

im afraid i would lose my shit with my sister and inform her she has made them feel unwelcome and thats why theyre leaving. How would she feel if you did this to her DC? Also she agreed to them sharing a room. One of her DC can go on the couch. I would point all this out to her and it would be the last holiday I took. Your son has had a bad year (as you say) and its not fair she throws a tantrum and makes it all about her.

WhoNeedsaManOfTheWorld · 27/07/2021 22:32

I'd leave when your DS goes and never holiday with her again. She sounds an absolute pain in the arse
She made them share ffs

fishonabicycle · 27/07/2021 22:42

Your sister sounds horrible. It's perfectly normal for people to share rooms on holiday!

ElvisPresleyHadABaby · 27/07/2021 22:46

Disgusting behaviour from your sister. Sounds like homophobia to me, and just picking fights for no reason.

FamishedAtAnAirport · 27/07/2021 22:46

She's being ridiculous. If the other children are younger, it makes total sense for him to have someone his own age to hang with.

I've been on holiday with my daughter, and she took two friends along. We had a great time!

Your sister is being ridiculous.

Bookworm20 · 27/07/2021 22:58

So it’s literally because they are sharing a room? That’s makes no sense. Are they sharing a bed? Even if they are it makes no sense. She’d rather one was on the sofa? Surely that’s way more inconvenient for everyone.
If that’s literally her only issue then I take it back and I’m back on your side op. That’s nuts.

NeonDreams · 27/07/2021 22:59

Ok, now I've flipped back again. So the sister's problem is they're sharing a room (not a bed?) ? Wow. It does sound like she certainly is prejudiced if not clearly homophobic. And, yes, I echo a pp and think you should leave as well.
This thread has exhausted me. I think I'll go back to my original point that it's never a good idea to go on holidays with siblings or extended family. I've learned that from the literally hundreds - honestly - of threads about interfamily holidays. Nuclear (mum/partner and kids) only.

thing47 · 27/07/2021 23:41

When DS and his friend came back my sister told them that sharing a room is ‘weird’

She's wrong, it's not. It's exceedingly common among that age group.

I'm afraid your sister is either homophobic or she just has no experience of this as her children are so much younger. I hope for her sake, it's the latter.

In any case, as other posters have suggested, I think you just leave on Friday too and give your sister no more headspace. If I stayed in that environment, I would definitely be at risk of saying something pretty forceful to her.

Original poster
hp45 · 27/07/2021 23:45

No, I don't think they are sharing a bed but if they are, I'm not sure why she's bothered!

I have told DS to visit for a weekend in a couple of weeks so we can spend some time together, and I told his friend he's welcome aswell.

I won't be coming on holiday with my sister again.

OP posts:
littlefireseverywhere · 28/07/2021 00:04

It sounds as if your sister is never happy!

Hawkins001 · 28/07/2021 00:15

Can you get a full breakdown analysis of why your sister has these views ?

GrandmaSteglitszch · 28/07/2021 00:16

Two young men sharing a room - totally normal.

FittedSheet · 28/07/2021 00:24

@YouJustFoldItIn

Probably is just a friend, OP says she doesn't know. But the aunt is making comments - despite her not knowing one way or the other. It's uncalled for and could come from homophobia. Either way, she should keep her mouth shut.

Yes, I get that. But at this stage we have no reason to think she's homophobic any more than to think she's just annoyed because the dynamics of the holiday have changed and her nephew isn't going to be on tap 24/7 to entertain his younger cousins.

No - you can be homophobic based on your perception. If you think someone is gay and discriminate against them on that basis, that's homophobia.

Yes, I get that too. But we don't know if she's being difficult and sulky because she's homophobic. We only know that she's being difficult and sulky because his friend is there. It's a bit of a conclusion to jump to, that she's homophobic, even if the son is openly gay.

I think it’s fairly clear she holds homophobic views if she’s asking why the OP’s son’s friend wants to share a room with him (even if it benefits her children) and why he’s not going on holiday with his own family.
Lalliella · 28/07/2021 00:31

She is being completely unreasonable and ridiculous and mean to your son and his friend. She needs to STFU.

fargo123 · 28/07/2021 00:37

Your sister sounds awful. I'd be telling her straight up that her behaviour has caused me to miss out on time with my child as he's leaving early because of her.