Neighbours’ DS has been crying for the past hour

[immusica]

We moved here in January, my neighbour is a man and a boy about 5/6, I've never seen his mum so I assume they live alone. I haven't spoken to him very much.

I have heard the boy crying/shouting a few times in the mornings, when his dad was trying to get him ready for school, but other than that they're quiet.

However, the child has been crying in the garden for about an hour, not sure why, I can hear him saying no (and something else which I can't make out) and his dad is asking him to come inside (I didn't think he's crying because he's being asked to go in though).

It's been over an hour now, so would this worry you?

My son used to scream so bloodcurdlingly when it was time to wash his hair we had to close the windows. It was a hard choice between letting him smell like a dog or have the neighbors think we ran a special home for tortured children.

Awwh, God love him. Sometimes they just need to let it all out.

On Friday my mum and dad had a little pool party for DS2 as an extra birthday party and he cried for over an hour after we came home because "Allll the nice things were oveeeeeeeerrr!".

He was shattered and decided he would never be happy again.

Yabu op

I don't know why not being in the garden last week would worry you, it's very sensible with the temperatures we had on the UK. I barely ventured out.

**in

We also had an incident at Disneyland when DGD was a toddler. She was way too small for a certain ride. So small it was a no brainer.

Her Mom, DS, and her brother who was older went on the ride. DGD had to be fully physically restrained from running after them. She was kicking, screaming, and wriggling. It was very hard to hold her (I got bruises). I was sure we would be arrested for child abuse.

It was highly embarrassing. She stopped before they got off the ride thankfully.

My DIL was shocked I think when we said no to watching her while they went out that night. It was just too much. Perhaps we should have tried but we were knackered.

She has grown into a very confident young lady who knows her own mind. All the signs were there.

@GreenCrayon@icedcoffees@Etceteraaah

unsolicited advice warning - sorry but someone asked!
I wasn’t referring to this particular child, but rather the posters who are writing that they let their child cry on their own for a matter of hours. I have three children so I do know how unreasonable they can be, but regardless of whether they’re crying over a “legitimate” or “non-legitimate” reason, shouldn’t change the course of response as a parent. It is, in fact, the unreasonable tantrums that are the most painful for a child - they are very seldom the result of whatever they say they’re crying about. Often it has to do with a lack of control or a bid for connection. Leaving them to “sort it out” just doesn’t give them what they need, in fact quite the opposite, hence why you’ll notice that a child can cry for hours while you’re sat there explaining all the rational ways they could be handling this situation. That does absolutely nothing to give them control or connect with them. Not only are you frustrating them but you’re frustrating yourself. You would be shocked at how quickly a tantrum ends when you keep repeating the words “I understand…” and get close to them. ( I’m literally talking about repeating over an over in an empathetic voice: “I understand you wanted that cookie but you couldn’t have it.” It’s super frustrating tactic to
Get your head around at first because it seems like you’re coddling, but you’ll see for yourself how quickly your child stops melting down by doing this.
BTw, I used to be the parent who lectured my child during tantrums and slowly got more and more frustrated, leaving them alone in the end. Never helped and left both of us feeling angry. It also never helped me to be empathetic and encourage them to talk about their feelings in the middle of a tantrum! The best thing I learned was to just keep saying “awww..you wanted x and it didn’t happen….awww… so sorry.” in a sing songy voice. Repeat. Repeat and repeat. I haven’t had a tantrum for over 10 minutes since.

@icedcoffees @Etceteraaah
unsolicited advice warning - sorry but someone asked!
I wasn’t referring to this particular child, but rather the posters who are writing that they let their child cry on their own for a matter of hours. I have three children so I do know how unreasonable they can be, but regardless of whether they’re crying over a “legitimate” or “non-legitimate” reason, shouldn’t change the course of response as a parent. It is, in fact, the unreasonable tantrums that are the most painful for a child - they are very seldom the result of whatever they say they’re crying about. Often it has to do with a lack of control or a bid for connection. Leaving them to “sort it out” just doesn’t give them what they need, in fact quite the opposite, hence why you’ll notice that a child can cry for hours while you’re sat there explaining all the rational ways they could be handling this situation. That does absolutely nothing to give them control or connect with them. Not only are you frustrating them but you’re frustrating yourself. You would be shocked at how quickly a tantrum ends when you keep repeating the words “I understand…” and get close to them. ( I’m literally talking about repeating over an over in an empathetic voice: “I understand you wanted that cookie but you couldn’t have it.” It’s super frustrating tactic to
Get your head around at first because it seems like you’re coddling, but you’ll see for yourself how quickly your child stops melting down by doing this.
BTw, I used to be the parent who lectured my child during tantrums and slowly got more and more frustrated, leaving them alone in the end. Never helped and left both of us feeling angry. It also never helped me to be empathetic and encourage them to talk about their feelings in the middle of a tantrum! The best thing I learned was to just keep saying “awww..you wanted x and it didn’t happen….awww… so sorry.” in a sing songy voice. Repeat. Repeat and repeat. I haven’t had a tantrum for over 10 minutes since.

This is why I’m glad we live in a detached house. Our two DDs (now 12 and 9) are adopted and DD1 in particular used to throw really loud tantrums. She did this once at a premier inn we were staying at and it was highly embarrassing.

It doesn’t sound like there’s anything to be concerned about from what you’ve shared. You’re obviously very fortunate to have a placid child.