Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Neighbours’ DS has been crying for the past hour

109 replies

immusica · 26/07/2021 18:56

We moved here in January, my neighbour is a man and a boy about 5/6, I've never seen his mum so I assume they live alone. I haven't spoken to him very much.

I have heard the boy crying/shouting a few times in the mornings, when his dad was trying to get him ready for school, but other than that they're quiet.

However, the child has been crying in the garden for about an hour, not sure why, I can hear him saying no (and something else which I can't make out) and his dad is asking him to come inside (I didn't think he's crying because he's being asked to go in though).

It's been over an hour now, so would this worry you?

OP posts:
User4248035893 · 26/07/2021 20:13

@GreenCrayon

I honestly really don't understand what part of this would worry you.

You know that his dad is there and that he isn't be ignored. What part of the situation is causing you to worry? Tantrums are a perfectly normal occurance even for the most placid and calm of children why would hearing a random tantrum from a small child be cause for concern?

I think this is a typical MN curtain twitching thread where people want to indulge in salacious gossip about their neighbours being abusive, inept at parenting or totally overwhelmed with children who have special needs. The hoped for reply is for posters to insist on calling social services because a 5 year old screaming for an hour can't be normal. Or they can go around to "help" but also to update the thread with tidbits of how broken that family seems to be.

I was hoping DD(2.5) would grow out of her hour-long screams after the terrible twos but I'm a bit deflated now by how many people have older kids who still do that!

wheresmyhairytoe · 26/07/2021 20:17

When DD was 5 she had an almighty strop because DH said polar bears are vicious.
She insisted that they are just misunderstood.

Kids are weird.

Generalpost · 26/07/2021 20:18

@immusica

I was concerned because he ran outside crying, it wasn't that he was being told to go in. I also don't hear them unless the DS is crying/shouting. They weren't even in the garden last week when it was very hot. I do have children, a DD about the same age and she did used to have a lot of tantrums but now she doesn't cry unless there's a reason.
Maybe dad did not want him out in the heat Maybe worried about sun burn. You have no idea why he his crying . He could have been told a lived one has died. His best toy could have got broken.

I still don't understand your question would you worry? Worry about what? It's almost like your looking for something do you have any reason to think there could be somthing to worry about?

nokidshere · 26/07/2021 20:19

Haha all these are making me smile. There's no reasoning with a small child who feels upset or hard done to about some completely random event or item.

icedcoffees · 26/07/2021 20:22

@immusica

I was concerned because he ran outside crying, it wasn't that he was being told to go in. I also don't hear them unless the DS is crying/shouting. They weren't even in the garden last week when it was very hot. I do have children, a DD about the same age and she did used to have a lot of tantrums but now she doesn't cry unless there's a reason.
Keeping children indoors during a heatwave is incredibly sensible - they can develop heatstroke quickly and many children get fractious, grumpy and tired in hot weather.

What is it that you're actually concerned about here?

Bearfrills · 26/07/2021 20:23

Youngest DS once lay outside on the trampoline in the pissing rain, sobbing like he was broken and refusing to come inside because I'd cooked fish and he didn't like the smell. He stayed out there until the smell was all gone, intermittently wailing if anyone happened to glance out of the window.

LookItsMeAgain · 26/07/2021 20:24

It literally could have been for any reason, any reason at all as to why he was crying. I hop he has stopped by now but if he hasn't, spare a thought for these parents and their kids and why they were crying:

callmebettie · 26/07/2021 20:28

My children refused to go out in the garden all last week up until today as it's way to hot they was happy playing and been cool in the house. It was to hot to play outside even in a pool...
Also my DC have extra needs. You'd never know unless I told you so their melt downs are horrendous. Some days I can sit and cry for ages when they have a bad day so if they wana go cry in the garden that's fine as some days are extremely tough and lockdown and Covid hasn't helped one but. but their 5/4 and it won't get easier, You don't have A clue really as to what happened. The parent was calm an never a problem before.
It's a normal child and you have no idea if the child has any extra needs etc.

Ifitquacks · 26/07/2021 20:30

I have similar aged kids who rarely cry/tantrum but one day recently my 5 year old screamed for an hour because I asked her to have some water before she went to bed as she hadn’t drank anything for a while.
It was entirely irrational and out of character and nothing I did calmed her. Sometimes they’re just weird. Nothing in this situation sounds worrying… sounds like the dad is dealing with it.

Lovemusic33 · 26/07/2021 20:31

I think if it’s a one off then there’s nothing to worry about. My dc both have ASD, the first week of school holidays has always been a nightmare and when they were younger they could have easily spent a hour crying and screaming due to the change in routine, lack of sleep or just a tantrum.

PumpkinKlNG · 26/07/2021 20:31

Threads like this worry me as I have an autistic child and she’s all the time over everything, hate the though of neighbours reporting me to police or ss which is what I think the op was hoping people would suggest Hmm

RedMarauder · 26/07/2021 20:31

If you are that concerned - pissed off with the noise - ask the kid directly what is the matter.

Sometimes it shuts them up even if it's just for a bit.

AColdDuncanGoodhew · 26/07/2021 20:32

I’m just jealous your daughter doesn’t cry, mine has the most epic tantrums ever Angry

GreenCrayon · 26/07/2021 20:35

@PumpkinKlNG

Threads like this worry me as I have an autistic child and she’s all the time over everything, hate the though of neighbours reporting me to police or ss which is what I think the op was hoping people would suggest Hmm
Please don't live in fear of this happening. I know it sometimes doesn't seem like it on MN but in reality most people are pretty understanding and 99% of us would use our common sense and see that the parent is not abusive and the child is not at risk. It's a tough job this parenting lark and I'm sure deep down you're doing great. Smile
HOkieCOkie · 26/07/2021 20:36

Gosh mind your business

DontBiteTheBoobThatFeedsYou · 26/07/2021 20:37

DD about the same age and she did used to have a lot of tantrums but now she doesn't cry unless there's a reason.

I expect this child is crying for a very good reason.
All children have a reason to cry, whether we agree with them, or understand their view or not.
The child believes there is a very good reason to cry.

stellaisabella · 26/07/2021 20:39

@immusica

I was concerned because he ran outside crying, it wasn't that he was being told to go in. I also don't hear them unless the DS is crying/shouting. They weren't even in the garden last week when it was very hot. I do have children, a DD about the same age and she did used to have a lot of tantrums but now she doesn't cry unless there's a reason.
You have a placid child. Congrats. My kids weren't in the garden for long in the heatwave either because it was simply too hot. Absolutely ridiculous reason for you to be concerned, children do cry for no reason.
MobyDicksTinyCanoe · 26/07/2021 20:42

No. Then again my dd once screamed for so long she damaged her vocal chords.

So long as the parent isnt being abusive and there's no ominous thumping noises it's just a kid getting whatever it is out of their system.

HPandTheNeverEndingBedtime · 26/07/2021 20:43

My neighbour shouts and swears at her young children and I heard her call her disabled son a 'fucking retard' before what sounded like the boy being smacked. That worried me and I reported it to the NSPCC who passed it on to Childrens services.

A calm parent dealing with a safe but tantrumming child would not worry me.

TheSkatesOfCoachBombay · 26/07/2021 20:46

Sounds like me 😂 good job I'm female or if think you were my neighbour!!

My 6 year old is currently crying in the garden because I won't open up the science experiment kit at nearly 9pm. It's tomorrow's activity, he's been having a whaling tantrum for about 45 minutes now.

JustLyra · 26/07/2021 20:50

@immusica

I was concerned because he ran outside crying, it wasn't that he was being told to go in. I also don't hear them unless the DS is crying/shouting. They weren't even in the garden last week when it was very hot. I do have children, a DD about the same age and she did used to have a lot of tantrums but now she doesn't cry unless there's a reason.
The kid is having a cry. His Dad is there, not shouting or being horrible or anything worrying so what's bothering you?

We weren't in our garden at any point last week either. We were either out away from the house or inside the house. Our garden was too hot because it's a sun trap.

EveryFlightBeginsWithAFall · 26/07/2021 20:52

Kids can be annoying , I've had 4 and there's been plenty of occasions over the years where they've had a good cry or screaming tantrum for what seems like no reason at all 🙄

EveryFlightBeginsWithAFall · 26/07/2021 20:53

Oh and my younger 2 are like me. Hate the heat. Theyre at their dad's atm but wouldn't have gone outside last week if they were here

Actually maybe he was at his mum's

PandemicAtTheDisco · 26/07/2021 20:54

Is your concern mainly because of his sex?

I know a male single parent who seems to attract all sorts of unwelcome comments from concerned women who doubt a lone man is capable of parenting his own child or those woman that want to get in his pants.

I'm sure there are many incompetent male parents out there but he's been a lone parent since his child was a baby, and after some initial help from his mum and older sister he has been fine. He's had a few neighbours express concern for spurious reasons whilst others waxing lyrically about how great he is - he's just being a single parent.

Costumeidea · 26/07/2021 20:58

DD once screamed ‘please stop hurting me mummy, I’m begging you to take your hands away’ for an hour whilst I washed her hair. I genuinely kept looking out of the window for the police afterwards.