Men in lingerie shops

[Woolywolf]

I went to bravissimo yesterday with my 15 year old daughter. The fitting rooms are downstairs and there are some sofas where you wait for your fitting. There were 3 men sat on the sofas (husbands/partners waiting for their wives/girlfriends I think). One of them has 2 kids with him. So the women waiting to use the fitting rooms were standing in a queue next to these men.

This was the first time my daughter had been to a bra fitting at this store and I could tell she was feeling uncomfortable telling her size to the staff and holding a handful of bras in front of these men. I may have been being paranoid but I think I caught one of the men looking a bit too hard at what all the women in the queue were trying on, but otherwise they just seemed like normal/harmless dads.

But am I being unreasonable thinking it was a bit inappropriate for men/kids to be waiting outside lingerie changing rooms. If my husband had been there, he probably would have taken himself off to a different shop while we went to a bra shop as he obviously wouldn’t need to be there. If we had younger kids with us, I’d ask him to take them someplace more interesting instead of having them waiting/taking up seats in an underwear shop asking loud questions about bras as one of the kids was.

I know there’s no shame in shopping for bras/it shouldn’t be embarrassing it just seems a bit unnecessary for men to be there. I don’t know if I would have noticed/cared if my teen hadn’t been with me, who was already a bit nervous about having a bra fitting.

@Wearywithteens

It literally doesn't say "no one gives a shit about the vulnerabilities of girls and women". It says "no one is paying attention to your daughter in the changing area". Huge difference.

@feelingmehtoday

Also this "menz" thing makes me cringe so much.

Agreed

@justasking111

You've proved my point

I don't understand how

My teen is DD+ and I've nagged for ages to get a fitting, but she's too embarassed.
This situation would have mortified her and she would have needed those hogged sofas as a fainting couch!
So we buy them online from curvissa and they fit well.

Have you ever stopped to think about why so many women seem guarded?

Men. Men are the reason.

It's most bizarre. Seems to be 2 different worlds.

The world of some very bitter extremist men-haters who enjoy picturing themselves in some dystopian hand-maiden reality, where male and female only reason to be is destroy the other camp,

and the world where most of us live, with normal people getting on with their lives, having normal relationships with and among both sex, without unhealthy obsession or hatred, and simple common sense.
(and a handful of weirdos like Ted Bundy, Rose West or Aileen Wuornos)

You don't have to be a bitter man hater to prefer privacy away from male strangers when dealing with any personal matters to do with your female body. The fact that some posters here claim to be unable to tell the difference between a normal healthy boundary and being a bitter man hater is seriously pathetic.

@beastlyslumber

You don't have to be a bitter man hater to prefer privacy away from male strangers when dealing with any personal matters to do with your female body. The fact that some posters here claim to be unable to tell the difference between a normal healthy boundary and being a bitter man hater is seriously pathetic.

I can tell the difference thread has a lot of men haters, or is it menz haters?

Please quote which post denies the right to privacy and is advocating communal and mix changing rooms for underwear? I give you a clue, it's not on this thread...

It's funny how some posters are willingly twisting the subject of this thread.

You made the daily Mail. Lol 😂

@feelingmehtoday

The comment that attracted 1072 likes:

"So? We're all on our phones anyway, nobody is interested in your daughter. We're just waiting for our own partners to finish their fitting. You might want to explain to your daughter."

Except 90% of teenage girls have felt uncomfortable with men leering at their breasts. So clearly lots of men are interested in breasts.

I can tell the difference thread has a lot of men haters, or is it menz haters?

Thread has a lot of people weirdly invested in the idea that women who want privacy from male strangers have something wrong with them, and who have been here 24/7 for the past few days making sure they are first with a nasty comment or illogical tirade in response to any woman who thinks women and girls should be allowed healthy boundaries. Very strange behaviour indeed.

@HOkieCOkie

You made the daily Mail. Lol 😂

@pleasedonttextmyman

Have you ever stopped to think about why so many women seem guarded?

Men. Men are the reason.

It's most bizarre. Seems to be 2 different worlds.

The world of some very bitter extremist men-haters who enjoy picturing themselves in some dystopian hand-maiden reality, where male and female only reason to be is destroy the other camp,

and the world where most of us live, with normal people getting on with their lives, having normal relationships with and among both sex, without unhealthy obsession or hatred, and simple common sense.
(and a handful of weirdos like Ted Bundy, Rose West or Aileen Wuornos)

Definitely two entirely different worlds.

Well the post that had me ROFL was the one that said they thought that Ann Summers shouldn't be for men.

I love it when posters spell 'mens' as 'menz'. It really gives me an insight into their minds and helps me decode their thought process.

It practise, it tells me to ignore them.

@DolphinFC

I love it when posters spell 'mens' as 'menz'. It really gives me an insight into their minds and helps me decode their thought process.

It practise, it tells me to ignore them.

Misandry in action should be ignored too

@DolphinFC

I love it when posters spell 'mens' as 'menz'. It really gives me an insight into their minds and helps me decode their thought process.

It practise, it tells me to ignore them.

Me too. It irritates the life out of me.

Congratulations you made it onto the daily mail online 😒👏🏼

Bravissimo IS NOT SPECIFICALLY AN UNDERWEAR SHOP.

I buy dresses, cardigans, jackets etc from there. And my husband has the best eye for knowing what I look good in. He patiently waits for me to come out in various items. In quieter times, I've also come out to get his opinion on Swimwear. And I've never been asked to sit and wait in Bravissimo either.

Why shouldn't my lovely helpful husband be allowed to sit on a sofa in between items? When someone is spending hundreds of pounds in a shop and doesn't want to make expensive mistakes?

@Wearywithteens the men on my family are also lovely!

@pollymere

Bravissimo IS NOT SPECIFICALLY AN UNDERWEAR SHOP.

I buy dresses, cardigans, jackets etc from there. And my husband has the best eye for knowing what I look good in. He patiently waits for me to come out in various items. In quieter times, I've also come out to get his opinion on Swimwear. And I've never been asked to sit and wait in Bravissimo either.

Why shouldn't my lovely helpful husband be allowed to sit on a sofa in between items? When someone is spending hundreds of pounds in a shop and doesn't want to make expensive mistakes?

Exactly!

Not RTFT only a bit.

**OP

next time you could get your DD measured in the fitting room and then you and/ or can nip out and get things for her to try on.

That's the easiest solution.

As to the general question

Men being there is fine
Lots of men I think would go for a wander anyway. It's not like you can come out and show like with clothes. And many men would feel it's not really their place/ think women might feel uncomfy etc.

Loads of teen girls would feel uncomfy looking at underwear in front of blokes. I was at that age. It's not unusual and it's not wrong it's just that loads of teens both boys and girls are very very self conscious.

Checked this out with all males in our family because it seems pretty polarising on here. Absolute unanimous view is that they wouldn't sit outside the changing room because they would be aware it could make some younger teenage girls feel uncomfortable. There view is there is just no need and if it saves someone feeling uncomfortable then why do it.
Of course it is all natural and nothing to be embarrassed about, but the fact is that some young teenage girls do feel embarrassed. It's not about bad parenting or passing insecurities to daughters. It's just about giving them some space. If a dad has to be there then fine but that is probably the exception. And why not have the seats a bit away from the entrance do any discussions going in are private enough.

@justasking111

Well the post that had me ROFL was the one that said they thought that Ann Summers shouldn't be for men

Whut, I missed that one
OK, on a level I can get on board with Ann Summers at home parties being not for men.
As it does get bawdy and party game like (think Max and Paddy lol) and the whole dynamic would change if blokes were there.

In the middle of the Anne Summers shop though?
Nah, not so much, if you're happy to peruse Rampant Rabbits, Black Ribbed Knobblers, Purple Dynamos or flavoured condoms in public then that's a different ball game (no pun intended lol)