To loathe organised sport and what it does to children?

[AssemblySquare]

There is a back story to this but it’s long and boring. I’m just sick and tired of sport being held up as this wonderful thing that brings people together, but all I have ever seen and experienced is divisiveness, bullying and meanness. I’m so done with it all, especially at grass roots level and at school where most kids seem to get shouted at by PE teachers and coaches taking out their own frustrations that they weren’t quite good enough to make it.

Most of the replies on here are from parents with children who enjoy team sports.

There needs to be better provision for children who lack abiity, have poor co-ordination or have other issues that preclude them from enjoying team sports. DD has joint issues. She has a rare condition that meant she spent half of year 7 at the children's hospital who were trying to rule out bone cancer.

The pastoral lead in her year was really supportive. The PE teachers were unsupportive and pretty horrible to her, resulting in her hating school PE.

At her school whenever anyone talked about the "set 1 PE types" it was never a flattering description. Even my friend's DS who is an excellent runner didn't fit in with the "set 1 PE types".

Yanbu, that's exactly the side of organised team sport that I've seen too, glad our eldest is coming out the other side of secondary schools sport (though primary was just as bad), wrecked his confidence in doing anything team related.

Perhaps their parents could make an effort to find something they enjoy?

Why do you think it's a parent's job? I'm talking about adults who after years of being told they were told they were letting the team down, and having it constantly reinforced that they're not sporty. It must be pretty common for people to be turned away from exploring other sports after spending years being reminded by your peers how rubbish you were.

You need to find a more friendly club. We do triathlon and there have been no races for so long, it's about having fun and being together more than competition. The coaches are lovely and everyone is very encouraging. We have a massive range of ability but it works.

I think though there is a case for making PE in schools less just about “playing football, athletics, games, rugby and cricket” and tying it in more with the importance of overall physical well-being.

Linking it more strongly with concepts of general exercises, nutrition, proper sleep, mental health - and the severe consequences of ignoring any of them. Not just “run out on the field and start a practice/game of X” which is what it was 90% of the time for us. State Schools in England (at least when I was a pupil 30 years ago) never bother telling you WHY you’re doing any particular subject or activity. The curriculum was so atomized. The only point of going to school was to pass exams in ten completely random atomized subjects. There’s no sense of exploration of the world and society or mission to any of it.

@Whinge

I was in my 30s before I realised that distance running is something you can learn to do, rather than just a natural ability you either have or you don’t. I’ve lost count of the number of friends who had the same experience.

This resonates with me so much. It took until my later 20s to realise I actually liked sport and excerise. For years I joked about not being sporty, laughed at myself for not being able to run or play sports.

However it's not the case at all. I actually like sports, I just had such a miserable time of being forced to participate in team sports at school, that It turned me off exploring what else was out there. Being made to feel like I wasn't sporty because I was so used to letting everyone down, and being blamed for losing. As well as being humilated publically during school sports days.

I often wonder how many people out there have the potential to be amazing at specific sports, but never try because of negative experiences at school.

Absolutely this!

You don't tackle obesity by making people hate being active through school PE.

Half a day of PE wont' stop people becoming obese.
Therefore the only point of PE at school should be to help kids find out what activity they enjoy (and what they don't and its ok for them to give that one a miss and do something else instead - much like a pp said her teacher did by letting her focus exclusively on the one activity she found that she liked).

Depends in the club, what the sport is and what the aims of the club are. We are members of a watersports club, it's very inclusive and supportive. Fun and education and physical exercise. Competitive if you want it to be, a little group of potentially elite athletes who coach and train and will work with any of the younger/less experienced kids if they show an interest.

Also competed with ponies at grassroots level and at county level. I never had any issues, negative comments or nastiness. Others did.

@Bryonyshcmyony

I often wonder how many people out there have the potential to be amazing at specific sports, but never try because of negative experiences at school

Perhaps their parents could make an effort to find something they enjoy?

Not all parents have the disposable cash to pay for activities outside school.

I'm pretty sure pe lessons are different these days, but just imagine if English was taught the way pe was taught when I was in school:

Right, you two are good at English: pick your teams. We're off to do Shakespeare over here
OK, you lot who are left over, here are some colouring pencils. See you in an hour.

As a teen, I loved tennis. But we did it for 2 weeks in school and only the kids who were already good at sport were allowed to use the courts. I played it with my mates at home a lot. But those were the days you could book a local tennis court for a few hours. I dropped pe as soon as I could.

I'm not sure sport at school DOES make sporty adults. I'm by far the most active out of my friends, even though they played lots of school sports. But it took me until my 20s to actually learn how to coordinate my body.

@Velvian

The trouble is *@MissyB1*, that team sport is one of the best ways for children to exercise, they don't even realise they are exercising, they are having fun and being part of a team. You can push yourself much harder when you are playing as part of a team and training means that you are 'exercising' with your friends.

There are people of all abilities that can get so much out of it.

Sorry I totally disagree. Team sports suit some kids they definitely don’t suit others. They can also be a reason for turning some kids off sport for life. And my ds has no problem motivating himself to do something he actually enjoys, and where he feels no pressure.

@RampantIvy
There needs to be better provision for children who lack abiity, have poor co-ordination or have other issues that preclude them from enjoying team sports

Perhaps, but where does it stop? Kids only spend perhaps 10% of the time on sports as they do Maths and Science. What about those kids? State school is a massive hodge podge which is scraping the money barrel as it is.

Making the school experience even just 1% better for the average pupil would require a HUGE input of cash which the British public is unwilling to fund.

@Whinge

Perhaps their parents could make an effort to find something they enjoy?

Why do you think it's a parent's job? I'm talking about adults who after years of being told they were told they were letting the team down, and having it constantly reinforced that they're not sporty. It must be pretty common for people to be turned away from exploring other sports after spending years being reminded by your peers how rubbish you were.

So perhaps the parents could have made an effort to find something you enjoyed? My mum rang an athletics club and I joined that, that was about 42 years ago, I'm sure there are even more options nowadays.

@Cam77

I think though there is a case for making PE in schools less just about “playing football, athletics, games, rugby and cricket” and tying it in more with the importance of overall physical well-being.

Linking it more strongly with concepts of general exercises, nutrition, proper sleep, mental health - and the severe consequences of ignoring any of them. Not just “run out on the field and start a practice/game of X” which is what it was 90% of the time for us. State Schools in England (at least when I was a pupil 30 years ago) never bother telling you WHY you’re doing any particular subject or activity. The curriculum was so atomized. The only point of going to school was to pass exams in ten completely random atomized subjects. There’s no sense of exploration of the world and society or mission to any of it.

Thats covered in PE theory lessons

@Cam77

YABU.

PE is important. Experiencing teamwork and competition (academically - but also physically) is important. The vast majority of PE teachers are decent people doing a good job.

Why is physical competition important?

My own did triathlon, swimming, cycling and running club

Positive attitudes in all 4 clubs,

Tri events the parents were warned competing children would be disqualified if there was any heckling

I did witness a mum berating her child after a race for having stopped after the swim, my daughter witnessed this and in the way home told her she competes for herself and if she wants to abandon a race we go home no questions asked as I’m there only to facilitate her hobby

Swimming there was a dad that bullied his sons, but unfortunately whatever sport they’d done he would have still been a bully

Daughter made many friends in different clubs and enjoyed the activities etc

It's great for those who are average or better and miserable for those who are worse than average; soul destroying for those who are hopeless.

Walking, dance, pilates, swimming, riding, sailing, etc, are all viable alternatives and spirt is not the only way to keep fit.

It's completely disengenous to think the majority of PE refuseniks would suddenly love it if they could be taught a link between physical and mental health!

@SimonJT

Ok that’s good then. Didn’t used to do those. Out of curiosity, what percentage of “PE Class Time” is taken up by theory nowadays?

my girls are in a wonderful football team and they really enjoy it. My boy who hates sports but loves performing arts and dancing gets called gay and trans for doing this. Who is doing this? The stingy team. Thing is he's pretty good i can see him succeeding in a career if he continues.

Because even friendly competition encourages kids to try their best and improve. Lots of emphasis on competing against yourself not against others these days.

Op you’ve had a negative experience with your club and school, doesn’t sound good but I don’t think all clubs/sports are the same. I do think for primary age kids it should be for fun all this screaming at kids from the sidelines is not on.

Pe at school I found bloody horrible, you’re lumped in to do whatever sport they decide and told off if you’re shit or slow or whatever, I’m not sure HOW kids like me who had terrible coordination and am not sporty at all we’re going to enjoy that or want to continue any group sports? Or sport at all when you’re constantly told how rubbish you are. Newsflash people are good at, and enjoy different things. I joined in, I did what was asked I just wasn’t very good and other classmates then joined in with the bullying and that was fun. It’s great if you’re sporty or your kid is, but don’t put down people who aren’t naturally good or talented in that dept, we can’t all be good at everything.

[quote Cam77]@SimonJT

Ok that’s good then. Didn’t used to do those. Out of curiosity, what percentage of “PE Class Time” is taken up by theory nowadays?[/quote]
I’m not sure, I know at my sons school they tag it into their physical and mental wellbeing sessions on a Friday. When they get a bit older they start including a bit of science, so certain muscles etc. Just before the summer holidays they were learning about the different food groups and how certain food groups are helpful in some sports.

And still the parents of children who enjoy sport come here and say how good it is - for their children. How to you make sport enjoyable for those who don't enjoy it or lack ability?

I wish DD was sporty, but she isn't. She now has CFS and any strenuous physical activity makes her even more tired than ever.

She does a lot more walking now that she is at university, but her experience at school has put her off team sport for life.

I was hopeless at school.sports and PE. Not well co-ordinated, a poor runner, totally unable to climb a rope or vault over a box. And very berated for it by thenPE teacher who thought I was not trying because paradoxically I had an athletic build.

What did school PE achieve for me. It greatly impacted my confidence and made me vow the day I left that no human would ever again make me throw, hit or catch a ball or participate in games of any sort.

Funnily enough I was very very good at work and very successful and being bad at sport has never held me back from leading a large professional team. What I do think it did, however, was to teach me never to publicly humiliate and to try to focus members of my team on what they are good at.

And still the parents of children who enjoy sport come here and say how good it is - for their children

Why is that a problem? There are plenty of people who hate it too.