To loathe organised sport and what it does to children?

[AssemblySquare]

There is a back story to this but it’s long and boring. I’m just sick and tired of sport being held up as this wonderful thing that brings people together, but all I have ever seen and experienced is divisiveness, bullying and meanness. I’m so done with it all, especially at grass roots level and at school where most kids seem to get shouted at by PE teachers and coaches taking out their own frustrations that they weren’t quite good enough to make it.

I'm saying YABU to loathe it. I can understand that the less sporty kids can find it a negative experience. If possible, I'd say the key is to keep looking for the right club and coach if a child wants to play. It's a lot more fun when you're at the same level as your team mates and opposition. Particularly in rugby when the level of physicality can be so different. We're a sporty family, both my children love team sports and play county/regional level in two. My son was on a performance/regional tennis program but decided to leave when he was 9 partly because it wasn't a team sport. It was also very expensive and I hated the tournaments with crying kids and pushy parents.

Upsides are that it gets them active, they like the team camaraderie and it's a natural outlet for the stress of working hard and exams. Their best memories of school are sports related.

Downsides are that we have no free weekends due to school sport on Saturday and club/county on Sunday, and my husband and I are driving all over the place. Cricket is my least favourite sport they play as it's so long (the adult games are 100 overs/8 hours) and your involvement is dependent on whether or not you get to bowl or bat, whereas you're more involved in hockey and rugby. There's been a few coaches I haven't liked but I'd move clubs or programs in that instance (not the case for school teams).

:( your son isn't enjoying footie, OP. It probably is the most competitive team sport he could have chosen, in terms of being good enough to make the starting line up. I hope he finds a different sport to enjoy instead. There really is a huge selection out there of other organised sports to try.

@ThePlantsitter

Competitive sport encourages people to give up if they're not good enough to win. It's a crap way to tackle obesity. I'm with you OP. People can do it if they like obvs but I wish there were properly supported alternatives.

This.

The problem is not team sport itself, but that kids are forced to partake in it. Its like anything, its niche and suits some and not others.
If you are not good at competitive sports its bloody awful. Its worst than being awful at something else, as you are forced to be awful publicly, to be labelled by your team mates as 'awful' and to feel social shame and know that you are letting everyone down. So it makes you think ' 'well exercise and activity are not for me.' .

There are loads of ways of being active but this obsessive focus on sport puts off kids who could otherwise have found an activity they like. My son is better than most of his peers at climbing. balance and scrabbling about in nature as we do a lot of it. Sports day though exposes him as 'physically shit' as he is tiny so trails in everything. It really upsets him.

YANBU OP

I like sport. I think it teaches kids discipline, listening, team work and resilience. As well as being physically good for them and getting them outside.

As I child I played tennis, cricket, netball and hockey because that’s what we did at school, and I loathed every single minute. It cast a shadow over my school week and I lived in dread of every games lesson, every match, every minute spent in the changing rooms and showers. I cannot tell you how miserable it made me.

I did not have a particular reason or difficulty, and I was not lazy. I just hated sports. I still do. It was the best thing to come out of lockdown - no sport in the newspapers or radio or tv.

I think healthy competition is important and kids need to learn that they may not win everything- my DN cries if he loses anything and I mean anything because all healthy competition has been cut out at school and he doesn’t do anything extra-curricula to promote healthy competition. It’s just unhealthy and I think in the long run very detrimental.

Oh and there are kids at the private school who are "crap at sport". Dds best friend is totally uncoordinated and can't catch a ball to save her life but she can cycle so does that instead.

If it's true that all the parents with kids on here that "loathe" team sport really are doing mountain climbing and gymnastics out of school then fine. My experience is thst kids who do ANY sport out of school are usually fit enough to be on school teams even if its not the A team. Kids I knew that hate state school sport normally do absolutely nothing out of school either.

There are other ways of keeping fit and healthy, therefore I do not believe PE should be a compulsory subject.

Yes there are. But unfortunately too many kids wouldn’t get any exercise at all if they weren’t made to do some PE at school.

I'm not at all sporty. I hated PE at school but I struggled through. The teachers were pretty awful but I guess I'm robust enough that it hasn't left any lasting damage. Some people hate maths or spelling tests but there are some things in life that we just have to put up with. Not every experience is going to be life affirming and fulfilling. My DB loved sport and it was absolutely his favourite thing to do growing up - football, cricket, badminton, anything. My DC have tried a few things, some that they love, some not so much. It can have huge benefits if you allow your children to get into exercise and team games. YABU to want to ban it because a few kids don't enjoy it.

@NakedAttraction

There are other ways of keeping fit and healthy, therefore I do not believe PE should be a compulsory subject.

Yes there are. But unfortunately too many kids wouldn’t get any exercise at all if they weren’t made to do some PE at school.

This.

YABU to want to ban it because a few kids don't enjoy it.

Did they OP say they wanted to ban it? There is a broad spectrum between something being compulsory and being banned.

There is an overfocus on team sports and little focus on basic atheletacism - which would actually boost team sports for those who want to.
I am someone who lifts, does callathetics and is a competent endurance runner and swimmer - but was I any good at school PE - nope. It favours the tall, early developers and popular kids, not the uncoordinated, neurodiverse ones.
It didn't put me off exercise - I am a very physical person who like movement but I still give team games a swerve.

School sport is but a tiny and rubbish selection of all the ways you can move and the fetishization of team games as the one true way is damaging to all.

It should n’t be compulsory at school, some people simply can’t play sport

You can't teach kids to lift in the average state school pe lesson.

@AssemblySquare

There is a back story to this but it’s long and boring. I’m just sick and tired of sport being held up as this wonderful thing that brings people together, but all I have ever seen and experienced is divisiveness, bullying and meanness. I’m so done with it all, especially at grass roots level and at school where most kids seem to get shouted at by PE teachers and coaches taking out their own frustrations that they weren’t quite good enough to make it.

Sadly I agree. I suffered years of bullying at my crap comp and a lot of that originated in team sports. All this "team work" crap only works for the sporty kids - the non sporty ones are automatically excluded from working as a team - that breeds resentment among the sporty kids as they don't want the non sporty ones ruining "their team". It also spills over into academic lessons where the "games" teachers also does other subjects - once a teacher has labelled you as being lazy or fat or whatever, they keep that mentality in the classroom too and learning can suffer.

Thankfully, I ended up with a really understanding games teacher for the last 2 years. We should have taken turns going swimming, but he took me aside and asked if I'd prefer to go all the time to avoid the team sports - I jumped at the chance and it did me a world of good - it was something I could do and I got a sense of achievement going through the award scheme.

My view is that there needs to be a range of sports, the choice of clothing can make a difference to participation and enjoyment, adequate time and facilities for changing help, and perhaps parents should not be able to watch on occasions.

As for exercise more generally, I wish there were ways to disincentivise the short school run.

You absolutely can teach callisthetics and body weight lifting.

I'm sorry you've had bad experiences. However, as someone who plays organised sport on teams alongside teenagers, I've seen there can be many positive effects for young people. Most adults on thr pitch or tge coaching bench want to encourage young people, but you're right that sometimes problems are caused by parents on the sideline shouting unhelpful, discouraging nonsense. If your DCs like sport, do some research and find a nice club/team (not always the same as thd highest performing ones). Alternatively, encourage them to a different sport: rugby, hockey and cricket all seem to have a much nicer atmosphere and tend to be more nurturing rather than pushy

Team games are an easy way of involving a big group of kids if you have 32 kids of mixed abilities. There is a lot of emphasis on diversity in physical education for teachers now but in practice it's just impossible to do.

Why doesn't you son try another sport, might be late for football, but early for something like cycling, clay pigeon shooting, golf, Lacrosse, snooker, certain martial arts

@SamusIsAGirl

You absolutely can teach callisthetics and body weight lifting.

Yes you can teach it, and dd does it, but she does it in small groups of 10 kids where the teacher can check their form. Very hard and a bit dangerous to do it with a group of 32 not doing it properly.

My kids aren't sporty but both love rounders and one made it on to the primary school team. Watching matches, I was shocked at the yelling, ranting and raving at their kids by parents, many of whom were usually normal.

@Northernparent68

It should n’t be compulsory at school, some people simply can’t play sport

Everyone can play sport, some may not be brilliant at it, but it doesn’t mean they can’t do it.

Some people dislike maths, english, science, mfl etc, we can’t make these optional just because some people aren’t keen. Throughout life we all have to do things we aren’t keen on, we can’t just skip out of doing those things.

@SamusIsAGirl

There is an overfocus on team sports and little focus on basic atheletacism - which would actually boost team sports for those who want to. I am someone who lifts, does callathetics and is a competent endurance runner and swimmer - but was I any good at school PE - nope. It favours the tall, early developers and popular kids, not the uncoordinated, neurodiverse ones. It didn't put me off exercise - I am a very physical person who like movement but I still give team games a swerve.

School sport is but a tiny and rubbish selection of all the ways you can move and the fetishization of team games as the one true way is damaging to all.

I agree. Since escaping school, where I hated sports etc., I've now lost a few stone in weight, play golf, play tennis/squash, ski, cycle and walk every day. Schools should give better choices/options and stop the obsession with team sports. Team building etc can be done in other ways - sport isn't the only way. And in reality, only a tiny proportion of people are in sports teams in adulthood whereas far more need to work in "teams" in non sporty environments such as offices, warehouses, hospitals, etc. My crap comp sports has negatively impacted my ability to work as a team throughout my working life as I don't trust people and construct artificial barriers due to horrendous bullying that started on the sports field!

OK, well your average state school doesn't have an artificial ski slope, tennis courts for all and a golf course, so not sure what your point is?