Time for 14 year old to be leaving town?

[DontBiteTheBoobThatFeedsYou]

I didn't know how to word the title.
And I'm usually a bit PFB over my eldest so occasionally really on MN for perspective.

14 yo (just finished year 9) has gone to the next major town, it's busy it's beachy it's rough, it's not the ideal place, but ok during the day.

What time would you expect them to leave to come home?

DS and I aren't in agreements, apparently his friends are still there.

It's about 30-40 minutes away by train.

@HandScreen

If my teen came to me within the bounds of a serious conversation and told me they though I was unnecessarily controlling and punitive of course I would discuss and address why they felt this way.

From everything you've said, and how dismissive you are about your children letting you know you are controlling, this doesn't seem one bit true.

And that is my point.

You can’t seem to see the difference between the stuff teenagers say during a teen tantrum and what they really feel/believe.

But I’m sure you have never experienced anyone ever saying anything in anger that they don’t mean and you take everything everyone says as the 100% truth. 😒

@JollyAndBright You've openly said that if your teenager came to you and used words like "controlling" and "punitive", you would dismiss them. Well it doesn't leave a teen who's in a controlling relationship a lot of options then, does it? Your tone policing - "you were angry when you communicated that I am a controlling parent" - doesn't leave space for them to communicate this to you. I can't see a scenario where you wouldn't write off and dismiss your teen's criticism of you. That's not good.

[quote HandScreen]@JollyAndBright You've openly said that if your teenager came to you and used words like "controlling" and "punitive", you would dismiss them. Well it doesn't leave a teen who's in a controlling relationship a lot of options then, does it? Your tone policing - "you were angry when you communicated that I am a controlling parent" - doesn't leave space for them to communicate this to you. I can't see a scenario where you wouldn't write off and dismiss your teen's criticism of you. That's not good.[/quote]
Im not going to argue the difference between something said by a teenager who is throwing a fit because the don’t get their own way and a teen expressing concerns about their relationship with their parents, because anyone with any common sense knows they are two totally different things.

A couple of weeks ago DS asked if we could get dominos for dinner, his dad said ‘maybe, we’ll ask mum when she gets home’ DS took that as a yes and went to look at the menu and decide what he wanted.
When I got home I said no as I had already planned a meal, defrosted something from the freezer and done some prep work that morning (which they would have know if they had bothered to look in the fridge)
DS got stroppy because he had his mind set on dominos and tried to argue with me, I tried to compromise and said he could have it at the weekend but he wanted it that night, no other night would be acceptable.
In the end he stropped off to his bedroom saying he would rather starve and was never going to eat anything I cooked ever again and that he hated me and hated my cooking.

Do you think he was being serious about wanting to starve or wanting to never eat my cooking again?

Because it’s exactly the same thing.