Excusing bad behaviour because the child ‘gifted and talented’ and bored

[WildWestWanda]

My sister has a ds who she believes to be ‘gifted and talented’

His behaviour has never been great but he is now 9yo and it is getting worse.

Just before the start of the summer holiday my ds was yet again called into school. This time he has kicked a teacher! Apparently the class were having a maths lesson and he kept getting up and running around the classroom. He was repeatedly asked to sit down and eventually lashed out and kicked the teacher!

My ds believes it was because the work wasn’t challenging him and he was bored! Instead of any kind of punishment she has sympathised with him!

It’s getting to the point where I am losing all respect for my sister! She is now upset with me because when she told me about the latest school incident I refused to accept his behaviour was ok. She isn’t doing him any favours at all. He is losing friends at school because of the way he behaves.

Ah great, another wet lettuce parent who thinks the sun shines out of their child’s arse.

Wow. She thinks being bored is an excuse to kick someone? She sounds deluded.

An old but true saying.

‘Only fools are bored’

Does he lash out at home when he's bored?

Hopefully the next time school call the police for assault. Maybe your sister will wake up then.
At 9 he KNOWS that's unacceptable.

She’s living in cloud cuckoo land. Wait until he’s a bit older and bigger than her she’ll reap what she’s sown then. So many parents seem to make excuses for their children when it’s usually lack of boundaries from an early age that have resulted in problem behaviour and entitled attitudes.

Ah a 'that parent' classic. In my experience as a teacher, it's usually the parents of the decidedly average who make these claims as well.

I am very afraid that by the time this child is an adolescent your DS will be up at the school in tears asking for help in controlling him.It happens all the time.

I worry for him tbh. He is a lovely boy when he is behaving but his behaviour is just getting worse. If he gets away with kicking what is he going to do next.

He is 10 in a couple of weeks and so he isn’t very far off high school and if he carry’s on with this behaviour he’s going to be looking at exclusions! He’s also going to continue losing friends.

Being gifted and talented is no excuse for poor behaviour.

@girlmom21

Does he lash out at home when he's bored?

Hopefully the next time school call the police for assault. Maybe your sister will wake up then.
At 9 he KNOWS that's unacceptable.

Yes he does, particularly with my sister and his younger brother

What's your sister doing to stretch him if she thinks it's down to boredom?
I'd say there are more underlying issues here.

"My DS" got me seriously confused a lot there

Ok so your sister got called into School...
Does she have PFB syndrome?

What makes her think he’s gifted and talented?
I’ve never come across g&t kids with such behavioural problems in 15 years of teaching

It doesn't sound like anything to do with being gifted or bored but perhaps having un diagnosed sen??

@GNCQ

"My DS" got me seriously confused a lot there

Ok so your sister got called into School...
Does she have PFB syndrome?

He definitely is her PFB!

Ime is it not unusual for g and t to coincide with some additional needs such as ASD or adhd. Not always, obviously, but if you or your sister look up DME or twice exceptional, it may explain some things. Clearly he needs some help and boundaries whatever is going on.

@Itsbeen84yearss

What makes her think he’s gifted and talented? I’ve never come across g&t kids with such behavioural problems in 15 years of teaching

He is very bright but I don’t believe him to be G&T. He probably has the potential to do well education wise but that’s not going to happen if his behaviour doesn’t improve

Running round a classroom and kicking a teacher goes well beyond bad behaviour. I know that most DCs with special needs would not behave in this manner but I would be thinking there was a possibility that he had behavioural problems as most DC are well aware of how unacceptable this behaviour is and would be able to control themselves enough not to engage in it.

Sorry, ds = darling sister not darling son. I can see how that made my post confusing

My son is highly gifted and was doing similar things at school which school (were crap about) but went on about it being because he's too smart etc. He was/is autistic (school denied it was SEN) and he's now in a SEN school with a lot more support than they were giving and funnily enough, he hasn't lashed out once in 2 years.

There is a lot of evidence around dysregulation and G&T but it's also highly correlated with SEN. Any attempts to actually have him assessed to ensure everyone is on the right tracks?

My sister has a friend that she met when my nephew started nursery. They’ve been close ever since and my nephew and the friends dc have always gotten on very well

My sister’s friend has been slowly distancing herself from my sis and I suspect it’s because of my nephews behaviour

Your sister is very likely going to be involuntarily joining the ranks of home schoolers if she continues to make excuses for her little princeling's behaviour. Then she can be the one being kicked in the shins, and trying to 'extend' her wee darling.

I have two g&t kids, (assessed), and never, never have they or would they, behaved in such a manner, and if they did the consequences would be dire. The worst my eldest did was to throw her stupid reading book that they'd had for two weeks and she'd been able to read since she was two, out into the garden in frustration. She got told off for that, too.

Running around classroom at 9 is weird even with crappy parenting. Do you think there is something like adhd or just no parental boundries