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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

“Friend” behaviour

132 replies

Tblock · 22/07/2021 11:17

I just want to express something that has been going on for years with me and my partners friend. She’s a female by the way. She literally copies everything in our life and it honestly pisses me off. I just want to see if I’m being unreasonable or petty? And seeing if this were to happen to you, would you feel the same? She’s been copying my wife’s clothes for years. So, for instance 1 particular time, my wife bought a dress and this friend was with her. A week later the friend is seen wearing that same dress out somewhere, basically meaning my wife can’t really wear that dress anymore in fear of having the same outfit on a night out. It doesn’t end there though. Ear rings, jewellery, watch etc etc, she will always ask, where do you get that from? Then inevitably will go out and purchase it behind your back. Even really petty things like me for instance, I’m a huge movie buff and have a really extensive movie collection. This friend sees this one day and suddenly months later, her cupboard is stacked with unopened movies she’s just bought. My wife and I have just decorated our 3 month baby boys spare room into a big jungle nursery a few months back. This friend has recently bought a house with her partner and her spare room is … you guessed it, jungle themed!!! I could go on and on. Sofa in our front room? She bought exactly the same one. My wife a few years back said something to her about it, so it’s been mentioned to her, yet she still behaves this way. It’s not just us though as she does this to a lot of people, but we in particular she seems to want to emulate our life and everything in it. It’s got to the point where I just want to cut her off, but she’s knows my wife for a long time. We announced our pregnancy at our wedding last year and you could see she was a bit funny all night. Almost to the point of being jealous. She’s been constantly asking my wife prior to that about when we want kids and my wife just swerved it by saying “in a few years” and she would be like “ yeh me too “. Moment we announce our pregnancy, she’s txing other friends with kids asking baby questions 😂😂😂 honestly, she’s for real and she displays lots of narcissistic personality traits which leads me to believe there’s something seriously wrong with her and maybe I’m being harsh ? You tell me

OP posts:
Brefugee · 22/07/2021 20:01

Or are you saying this is strictly for females only as it’s mums net?

you have been told REPEATEDLY not to call women "females" it is insulting and, frankly, MRA behaviour. Are you an MRA? you come across like one.

Women is what we are. Women. Not females. We. Are. Women. And since you have come asking our opinion it would be lovely if you'd take that on board and not call it bollocks.

QueenBee52 · 22/07/2021 20:27

@EmmalineC

If this friend is on Mumsnet (and she probably is) I'm pretty sure she will recognise herself and be mortified at having a thread dedicated to her copycat lifestyle.

it might also enlighten her to her extremely creepy behaviour and how it is viewed .. 🌸

TheVampiresWife · 22/07/2021 20:53

She’s a female by the way
She's sick in the head
vultures

Those three quotes alone are red flags. The fact you're so invested in your wife's friendships is another.

NotanothernamechangeforMN · 22/07/2021 20:54

She doesn't sound very well. I would be very cautious of her and worried for your wife's safety.

NotanothernamechangeforMN · 22/07/2021 20:56

@Brefugee

Or are you saying this is strictly for females only as it’s mums net?

you have been told REPEATEDLY not to call women "females" it is insulting and, frankly, MRA behaviour. Are you an MRA? you come across like one.

Women is what we are. Women. Not females. We. Are. Women. And since you have come asking our opinion it would be lovely if you'd take that on board and not call it bollocks.

🙄
QueenBee52 · 22/07/2021 21:04

@NotanothernamechangeforMN

She doesn't sound very well. I would be very cautious of her and worried for your wife's safety.

you might be right... and it must be exhausting accommodating/navigating this type of personality 🌸

Brefugee · 22/07/2021 21:11

just for the benefit of those rolling their eyes at the "females" thing. It is a tactic used by MRAs to belittle women. It is the wrong word (as has been pointed out a lot here) and it is disrespectful to keep on doing it. (and it makes me think of the Ferengi. Which nobody needs, frankly)

Also didn't appreciate the OP up there putting the word woman in scare quotes. Come the revolution and all that.

As for the copycat "friend". If it bothers you, stop telling her where you get things. And whenever she does copy, point it out. Make fun of her for not being able to think for herself? or ignore it and get on with your life

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