Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Is this enough for a 3 year old’s birthday?

267 replies

AuntNora · 22/07/2021 10:58

We are getting him:

Scooter
Magnadoodle
Bigjigs battery operated train
Playfoam (a bit like playdough, but less messy apparently!)
Most likely a new book

That’s it from us.

He’s getting a Tonie box from one set of grandparents and a playmobil set from the other set.
He’ll also get gifts from my brother and my DP’s brother and sister.

I always feel like there’s so much pressure to buy a lot of gifts, I don’t know why Blush

OP posts:
Lachimolala · 22/07/2021 17:14

I think that’s loads and they’re a very lucky kiddo! The toniebox looks good and I’ve been thinking about getting one for a while.

It’s my DD 4th birthday soon, for her I've gotten her a mermaid/bunnies book she wanted, a wooden cappuccino play set, a nice party outfit (primark), a washimals set, a pebble painting set and a pickle cat plush.

My parents and grandparents are clubbing together to get her a cherry red bobbins bike! She’s a very lucky girl! And I think that’s absolutely loads, especially with all the cake and balloons etc.

I got sucked in to buying loads and loads when my eldest was young and very quickly realised I had to pull it back otherwise they’ll expect tons every year and I’d not be able to afford it but also I was worried about spoiling them Blush

AddressLabel · 22/07/2021 17:22

That’s a crazy amount, My son is 3 this year and I’ve not bought him any birthday presents yet as he’s too young to understand and gets plenty from family and friends.

NoIDontWatchLoveIsland · 22/07/2021 17:29

Too much!

We would just have got the scooter, or maybe the scooter plus the book. DS had a kinetic sand set from us for his 3rd birthday - just that. His baby sister gave him a packet of sweets. He had a playmobil set from his grandparents on one side, and a dressing up set from the other side. Aunts/uncles got him a game, some character pyjamas, and a craft set. He was thrilled with it all. I don't understand why a 3 year old needed 5 presents just from you.

MissJeanBrodiesprime · 22/07/2021 17:29

I’d say that’s too much, remember you’re setting the bar for future. He’s 3, he has no idea of the value of any of it so why would you ask if that was enough? Enough for him? Or for you? Madness.

Youseethethingis · 22/07/2021 17:30

That sounds like a lovely mix OP, and engaging different skills which will help his development too. I don't believe it matters that he won't remember them, he will enjoy and learn from them in the here and now!
Also, books aren't presents to me in the sense that they are for high days, holidays and Tuesdays and I buy them for DS all year round. He gets nice hardback story books as his presents and run of the mill board books the rest of the time and thats The Law!
I'd also be asking family and friends to skip it instead of handing over the pleasure of selecting my own child's birthday presents like PP Hmm

georgarina · 22/07/2021 17:47

For DS' 3rd birthday I got him an online learning game with accessories, DP got him a chef outfit with toy food, and other family (v small gathering) got him small gifts: a book, a toy submarine.

I think that was it. There's no expectation for a lot of gifts, he tends to just focus on 'his gift' for birthday/Christmas - asking when he gets his gift, what it will be etc.

MotherOfCrocodiles · 22/07/2021 17:58

Sound about right to me op.

Popcornriver · 22/07/2021 18:18

Disagree that's it's an obscene amount Confused

An outside toy, couple of crafty bits and a toy train sounds fine for a 3 year old!

Nancydrawn · 22/07/2021 18:27

@ElephantOfRisk

OP, I think the thing to keep in mind is that a 3 year old isn't going to remember these presents. I think I remember about two toys I was gifted before I was 6. Which means it's about you and other adults, not actually about them.

Is it? Toys are generally about more than just fun, they are about learning and developing and gaining either physical skills or mental development. The more decent opportunities DC have to access appropriate toys and books the better. OP can always gift or sell things on. I think the only things that have ever just been thrown away are the cheap stuff they'd be given at birthday parties until we learned to specify that no gifts were required.

That's true and fair. I suppose I was assuming he would have exposure to a wide variety of toys at school (which might be a false assumption), and also that he would accumulate toys over time/from other sources.

He's getting at least 10 presents, based on the OP, and I think worrying that it isn't enough is often a worry that other people will judge, rather than what the kid himself will think.

I should also caveat by saying that I think with kids under 6 in particular, saving up all presents for birthdays and holidays, unless it's done through financial necessity, is a mistake. Sure, mark those things out with bigger gifts, but I'd much rather a kid got 5 presents on his birthday and then a couple new books and/or a learning toy once a month, rather than 40 (!) presents on the birthday that he ages out of before he has a chance to explore.

That is, I suppose, what I mean about being for the adults. Surprising a 3-year-old with a giant pile of toys isn't actually about him, it's about you. A 3 year old will be just as thrilled with 5-10 presents from parents, grandparents, and aunts/uncles combined, and then will be super excited to have a treat of going to the bookstore in a few weeks, or having a new puzzle on a rainy Saturday.

1stTimeMama · 22/07/2021 18:28

I'm baffled by the 'that's a ridiculous, obscene amount'! It's 5 presents, how is that in any way seen as an obscene amount?!
Mine get 6 or so gifts each, one from each of us, and then 1 or 2 from my parents. No one else it's for them.
I've had 38 birthdays and I've never once received 1 present!

00100001 · 22/07/2021 18:32

[quote pinkcircustop]@00100001 A huge variety of things. There are lots of toys out there! Everything from soft toys to musical ones to books to bigger items like playgyms etc.

@Briarshollow Of course, and she looks beautiful 🥰[/quote]
Ok.
What 30-40 things did you get your baby?

woodhill · 22/07/2021 18:36

@pinkcircustop

That's utterly ludicrous. I'll bet most of those get opened by you rather than the child and most get ignored for ever. No way does a small child have enough interest to sustain going through that much. We asked grandparents and aunts and uncles to keep to one gift each, as we do, so they could actually get enjoyment out of seeing DC opening and playing with them. Anything more than 6 or 7 in total from everyone and they were totally distracted and anything beyond that gets lost in the chaos.

@DappledThings Well she’s only a baby right now so yes, they do get opened mostly by me 😂

The presents last until the next event (ie. Christmas presents last until birthday, birthday will last until Christmas) so she does get a lot of enjoyment out of them all, of course with maybe 3-4 treats a month. We like to rotate her toys for her each day so she doesn’t get bored and has a nice variety.

Nothing she’s had has ever been ignored, and of course she has a huge family too so their presents come on top of what we get her.

Have you got a massive playroom for all the stuff?

I would have probably bought the scooter only tbh

ohthatbloodycat · 22/07/2021 18:37

@Meraas

That’s obscene and probably driven by competitiveness.
You sound joyful.
RaginaPhalange · 22/07/2021 18:41

More than enough

pinkcircustop · 22/07/2021 19:04

@00100001 I don’t have time to list everything I bought her Confused If you want ideas, Amazon is a great resource. Argos too.

@woodhill No, she doesn’t have a playroom. We’re just an organised family with a lot of well used storage space.

GreyhoundG1rl · 22/07/2021 19:06

I don't think 00100001 was looking for ideas 😂

FuckingHateRats · 22/07/2021 19:07

Loads. My kids get one gift. They've only ever got one gift, from age 1. They're now teens and still only get one gift 🤷🏻‍♀️

Lockdowntherabbithole · 22/07/2021 19:08

I think it sounds fine. I’m an over-buyer. We really spoil our children on birthdays and Christmas. We’re lucky to be in a position to do so at the moment. I’m here to say that the Toniebox is brilliant! Both of my sons have one each (is this obscene!? Wink) and it’s well used x

woodfort · 22/07/2021 19:09

That is so much stuff!!! ShockShock

00100001 · 22/07/2021 19:12

😂

I am genuinely curious what 30-40 gifts for baby looks like I'm your house.

Do you only buy them at birthday/Christmas. So yoir child has at least 60 new toys a YEAR?

It just feels like there's only so many things a small kid needs.

Like... Do you buy them... Four teddies.... And 3 dolls, and five cars and 6 balls etc?

Caspianberg · 22/07/2021 19:14

People who are saying 5 item is ‘so much stuff’ when it includes things like a book. Do you only buy for birthdays? Or do you buy throughout the year? Or have generous families?
Otherwise if child is only getting one book each birthday, do you mean they have 18 maximum books they own at the age the 18? Including the ones given 1 per year since age 1. Of course you don’t.

Too many toys is a thing. But many people when they say they buy 5/10/20 gifts are including what many people just buy day to day. My mother used to wrap new socks and pants to increase the gift pile!

HarveySpectorWins · 22/07/2021 19:15

@AddressLabel

That’s a crazy amount, My son is 3 this year and I’ve not bought him any birthday presents yet as he’s too young to understand and gets plenty from family and friends.
Ok are you actually joking here? Like is this part of the competitive under gifting or are you being sarcastic? I'm not even saying buy him loads I don't buy loads or post on social media before that's thrown at me but you don't want to buy him anything? Nothing special you think he would love, nothing at all?!
pinkcircustop · 22/07/2021 19:17

@00100001

😂

I am genuinely curious what 30-40 gifts for baby looks like I'm your house.

Do you only buy them at birthday/Christmas. So yoir child has at least 60 new toys a YEAR?

It just feels like there's only so many things a small kid needs.

Like... Do you buy them... Four teddies.... And 3 dolls, and five cars and 6 balls etc?

No, we buy a lot at Christmas and Birthday and then usually 3-4 treats a month that we might see when we’re out and about from places we go.

I don’t sit down and go “right and I want x number of balls” or whatever. I scour the internet or browse shops and if I think she’ll like it I buy it and the number adds up. I’ll buy everything from musical llamas to to dancing parrots to shape sorters to baby drum kits to cuddly kittens.

If I think she’ll like it, she gets it.

Caspianberg · 22/07/2021 19:17

@00100001 - from the example above, my mother could easily have given us 30+ gifts at 1 year. But probably 26 of those would have been what I call essentials and would just buy my baby day to day ie bib, new weaning spoons, plate, coat, shoes, duvet cover, or similar

woodfort · 22/07/2021 19:18

This whole thread honestly makes me want to cry. I spend so much effort trying to buy toys second hand where possible.. but what is the bloody point?

Swipe left for the next trending thread