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AIBU?

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Original poster

Is this enough for a 3 year old’s birthday?

267 replies

AuntNora · 22/07/2021 10:58

We are getting him:

Scooter
Magnadoodle
Bigjigs battery operated train
Playfoam (a bit like playdough, but less messy apparently!)
Most likely a new book

That’s it from us.

He’s getting a Tonie box from one set of grandparents and a playmobil set from the other set.
He’ll also get gifts from my brother and my DP’s brother and sister.

I always feel like there’s so much pressure to buy a lot of gifts, I don’t know why Blush

OP posts:
DappledThings · 22/07/2021 20:46

As she grows older, I’ll teach her that she can’t always get what she wants. She is most certainly not just going to ask and get.
When she is too young to express what she wants you are going to keep buying her endless amounts of stuff that you think she might like, but once she is able to ask for stuff you're suddenly going to stop buying everything in sight because what you want for her you automatically get but what she wants for herself you don't automatically get.

I'm not seeing the logic, nor am I convinced you are going to change your shopping habits just because your daughter acquires the power of speech.

pinkcircustop · 22/07/2021 20:49

Teach her to look out for wildlife, and plant seeds and count flowers. Read her stories and poems. Let her listen to music. There is so much you can give her that doesn't come in shops.

@Listener2021 We do all of that. As I said in an earlier post, it’s not just about toys. We go to lots of different places and try new experiences, and when the world opens back up again we will be travelling abroad to see new cultures and places.

We go to museums and national trust properties, we visit cities and beaches and parks. She’ll experience everything the world has to offer and make beautiful memories.

pinkcircustop · 22/07/2021 20:51

@DappledThings You are again missing the point. I’m not going to stop buying her things, but she will learn she can’t always have everything she wants.

You can do both. It’s not one or the other.

Onairjunkie · 22/07/2021 20:52

[quote pinkcircustop]@Onairjunkie She’s too young to have “wants” at the moment, hence why I buy what I think she’ll like.

As she grows older, I’ll teach her that she can’t always get what she wants. She is most certainly not just going to ask and get. That’s part of how I’ll bring her up with respect and appreciation.

We are not going to be keeping her toys forever. Broken ones will get thrown, special ones saved, others charity shopped or given to a new baby.

You don’t have to keep everything you buy.[/quote]
I have read your other posts where you’ve said that, but if she gets 40 presents at Christmas, 40 for her birthday and 4 additional ‘treats’ a month, as per your previous posts, that’s 128 toys a year. Just from you. Not allowing for the other presents for you seemingly large and generous family.

That’s an awful lot of stuff to store.

And unless you’re planning on binning or donating stuff within days or perhaps months of getting it (why people have rightly gone on the consumerist and environmental attack) you will be overwhelmed.

To most of us it seems a disturbing amount of stuff for a child that you admit currently has no wants.

MrsMiddleMother · 22/07/2021 20:55

Sounds great OP. It's social media that makes us think they need piles of presents. Definitely not obscene at all! Some parents seem to just give their kid a rock and be done with it Hmm

pinkcircustop · 22/07/2021 20:58

@Onairjunkie You could easily be right. We may very well be overwhelmed with toys, but that’s really not a cause for concern for me.

Onairjunkie · 22/07/2021 21:00

[quote pinkcircustop]@Onairjunkie You could easily be right. We may very well be overwhelmed with toys, but that’s really not a cause for concern for me.[/quote]
Well then fair enough. All the very best. I have no doubt your daughter is very loved.

Listener2021 · 22/07/2021 21:02

@pinkcircustop

Teach her to look out for wildlife, and plant seeds and count flowers. Read her stories and poems. Let her listen to music. There is so much you can give her that doesn't come in shops.

@Listener2021 We do all of that. As I said in an earlier post, it’s not just about toys. We go to lots of different places and try new experiences, and when the world opens back up again we will be travelling abroad to see new cultures and places.

We go to museums and national trust properties, we visit cities and beaches and parks. She’ll experience everything the world has to offer and make beautiful memories.

That's good to hear, but you ignored the first part of my message, and it was the part that matter. Your daughter may be on this planet for the next 100 years. You need to start taking care of it for her now.
pinkcircustop · 22/07/2021 21:04

Well then fair enough. All the very best. I have no doubt your daughter is very loved.

@Onairjunkie Thank you, she is Smile We just want the best for her and that includes everything from toys to experiences to memories.

We are a family with very strict morals so we will be bringing her up the same; she will not be a spoilt brat.

AudacityBaby · 22/07/2021 21:05

@pinkcircustop I’m not convinced that you learned that you can’t have everything you want - your parents bought you 40 presents so now you buy her 40 presents. If you think she’ll like something, that means she’ll get it.

This doesn’t sound like fertile ground for being able to teach her that she can’t have 40 presents every birthday.

pinkcircustop · 22/07/2021 21:06

@Listener2021 I’m sorry but I don’t really feel as one family we would make a jot of difference in that regard so I’m not willing to make sacrifices like that.

I didn’t reply to it because I know how much of a touchy issue it is for some and didn’t want to inflame people further.

pinkcircustop · 22/07/2021 21:07

@AudacityBaby And you are of course entitled to that view Smile

CarryOnNurse20 · 22/07/2021 21:11

I think this thread has been derailed by the 30-40 toys poster which most people agree is more than excessive. I do find it weird the amount of posters saying that’s sooo much stuff though. 5 things? Insane? Obscene? Really..?

Listener2021 · 22/07/2021 21:12

[quote pinkcircustop]@Listener2021 I’m sorry but I don’t really feel as one family we would make a jot of difference in that regard so I’m not willing to make sacrifices like that.

I didn’t reply to it because I know how much of a touchy issue it is for some and didn’t want to inflame people further.[/quote]
Just in case your daughter grows up to be one of the many who find it a touchy issue, maybe you would consider reviewing your ideas one day.

pinkcircustop · 22/07/2021 21:13

@CarryOnNurse20 Yeah, sorry OP, I didn’t mean to derail Smile People just kept quoting me and asking me questions and I didn’t want to ignore.

pinkcircustop · 22/07/2021 21:14

@Listener2021 I’m sure she’ll grow up with her own opinions on a variety of matters. It’s okay for people to have differences of opinion.

riotlady · 22/07/2021 21:19

I think that’s a perfect amount, think the posters saying it’s obscene are a bit OTT!

AudacityBaby · 22/07/2021 21:20

Sorry for adding to the derail. Just utterly fascinated by the concept of not being prepared to make the sacrifice of not buying 120 presents per year to maximise your daughter’s prospects of having a healthy environment to live in as an adult.

(Of course one person can make a difference. What do you think happens if everyone decides they don’t count?)

00100001 · 22/07/2021 21:25

[quote AudacityBaby]@pinkcircustop I’m not convinced that you learned that you can’t have everything you want - your parents bought you 40 presents so now you buy her 40 presents. If you think she’ll like something, that means she’ll get it.

This doesn’t sound like fertile ground for being able to teach her that she can’t have 40 presents every birthday.[/quote]
Well, we must presume that pink doesn't expect that many presents and at some point it will stop???

00100001 · 22/07/2021 21:26

@AudacityBaby

Sorry for adding to the derail. Just utterly fascinated by the concept of not being prepared to make the sacrifice of not buying 120 presents per year to maximise your daughter’s prospects of having a healthy environment to live in as an adult.

(Of course one person can make a difference. What do you think happens if everyone decides they don’t count?)

Ikr, as if it's a sacrifice to not buy a baby 100+ presents a year??😂
AudacityBaby · 22/07/2021 21:33

@00100001 I really don’t want to risk further derail by asking how many presents pink gets now…

Sceptre86 · 22/07/2021 21:36

I'd probably buy more but it depends what you can afford and wish to spend your money on.

AddressLabel · 22/07/2021 21:53

@HarveySpectorWins serious. He’ll get loads off other people, and has absolutely loads of toys. He doesn’t know who gets him what. I’d rather put money in his ISA and take him on a nice day out. He still gets more enjoyment out of a cardboard box. I won’t get away with this forever, so I’m making the most of it now.

mintich · 22/07/2021 22:01

Its plenty. I went way overboard with my first child and realised she was bored opening presents and was only interested in a few of them each time! I learnt my lesson with my other children

beentoldcomputersaysno · 22/07/2021 22:36

Lovely. Hope he has a great day.