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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Is this enough for a 3 year old’s birthday?

267 replies

AuntNora · 22/07/2021 10:58

We are getting him:

Scooter
Magnadoodle
Bigjigs battery operated train
Playfoam (a bit like playdough, but less messy apparently!)
Most likely a new book

That’s it from us.

He’s getting a Tonie box from one set of grandparents and a playmobil set from the other set.
He’ll also get gifts from my brother and my DP’s brother and sister.

I always feel like there’s so much pressure to buy a lot of gifts, I don’t know why Blush

OP posts:
FangsForTheMemory · 22/07/2021 15:58

I would honestly swap one of the indoors toys for something cheap and cheerful he can play with outside.

ThePlantsitter · 22/07/2021 15:58

Since this thread has turned insanely aggressive on both sides of the argument I wonder if you're still there OP but if you are I would say that one thing I would do differently with presents is start out a lot smaller. So literally nothing for the first birthday, a small couple of things for the second, things I wanted them to have for their 3rd (a scooter is transport for example). otherwise you just find yourself constantly trying to offload, store, and manage STUFF and it all turns into a massive burden. AND it results in ungrateful kids (like my DD who one year wondered if they were last on the list this year Shock that was my wake up call tbh).

viques · 22/07/2021 16:05

Only one book?

Kokosrieksts · 22/07/2021 16:08

Are you joking? A scooter alone would be enough.

ElephantOfRisk · 22/07/2021 16:10

There tends to be a lot of competitive undergifting on MN usually from people that forget that their DPs are buying them a pony etc. or who buy them something new of a weekly basis anyway. Some people are working on tight budgets though so that's really understandable and there is nothing wrong with picking stuff up on free or cheap sites for birthdays in particular.

I'm quite a generous gifter for birthday and christmas. DC luckily have their birthdays in summer. So it's spreads well. I think your list is just about perfect but agree with a PP that i'd probably pop in something like a bag of sweets or popcorn and something that they might be needing anyway. e.g. if they need a new t-shirt I might get one with a character they like on it or PJs if you don't like character stuff on outside clothes.

I'd also add that my DC rarely got gifts from anyone else, family might pop a bit of cash in a card sometimes which is obviously lovely and great when DC are old enough to understand and are happy to go and buy something for themselves but would be a bit sad on their birthday just to have one gift to open.

Somethingsnappy · 22/07/2021 16:13

@pinkcircustop

And do you take photos of your DC standing behind his pile and pop them on social media?

@Somethingsnappy No, she can’t reliably stand yet Wink

Grin

Sitting on top then?

takealettermsjones · 22/07/2021 16:14

Didn't take long for this thread to turn nasty, did it.

None of you know whether another poster's presents are plastic or not, whether they're second hand, whether they cost a lot or anything at all etc.

Elune · 22/07/2021 16:15

There tends to be a lot of competitive undergifting on MN

I always wonder if these are the same people as the competitive undereaters. Birthdays with one gift and half a potato as a birthday meal (and of course one couldn't possibly eat the whole thing).

SummerBreeze1980 · 22/07/2021 16:15

Sounds perfect and very generous. I'm sure he'll enjoy all those things!

Mpsister · 22/07/2021 16:16

It’s far too much

Lockdownbear · 22/07/2021 16:17

I think that sounds a lot.
I'd keep a couple of things back for Christmas.

It's dead easy to go OTT but it's where do you put it all and what do you get for the next occasion. Then younger siblings.

My pet hate in this world is when it comes to sorting out toys putting them away and deciding when toys are outgrown.

TheGenealogist · 22/07/2021 16:17

@Meraas

That’s obscene and probably driven by competitiveness.
Competitiveness indeed. Same reason she's started a thread about it.
pinkcircustop · 22/07/2021 16:18

@Somethingsnappy Yeah, I do take a photo of her with her presents and put it on SM. My SM is family only though and all locked down, and I post those photos because I know they like to see them and see their presents in the pile.

Unfortunately due to covid some of them haven’t even met her yet so these photos mean even more to them. And of course I’ll take a photo/video of her opening and playing with or wearing their presents.

Foxglovesandlilacs86 · 22/07/2021 16:21

I wondered how many posts it would take before someone would say it’s far too much Grin here comes the competitive under buyers you only see in mumsnet, who only give their kids some sticks and pebbles off the beach Grin

IMO it’s fine, I’d buy my kids more than that because I like them having the excitement of a big pile of presents, but that’s definitely enough presents, especially combined with the ones from family too.

Foxglovesandlilacs86 · 22/07/2021 16:23

@Elune

There tends to be a lot of competitive undergifting on MN

I always wonder if these are the same people as the competitive undereaters. Birthdays with one gift and half a potato as a birthday meal (and of course one couldn't possibly eat the whole thing).

Grin this!
00100001 · 22/07/2021 16:23

@pinkcircustop

I don’t think that’s enough but 🤷‍♀️
Really? Confused The lad is THREE.

And he'll be getting at least 9 or 10 presents!

Nsky · 22/07/2021 16:24

Best to buy one or two gifts and money maybe in savings account, he won’t remember the masses of stuff

youngestisapsycho · 22/07/2021 16:26

This thread is hilarious....

Nancydrawn · 22/07/2021 16:26

@pinkcircustop

Because it's 5 separate presents. 5 is a lot. 5 is a massive number of individual presents to me.

@DappledThings I think only 5 is pitiful tbh. My parents would get me 30-40 each birthday and Christmas (and of course treats throughout the year) and I do the same for my baby.

This has caused me a much need laugh this morning. 80 presents a year for a baby! What a delight.

OP, I think the thing to keep in mind is that a 3 year old isn't going to remember these presents. I think I remember about two toys I was gifted before I was 6. Which means it's about you and other adults, not actually about them.

One nice big toy and a few smaller presents will delight a child of 3. When you add in the presents from grandparents and aunts/uncles, if anything it's going to be overwhelming.

If you want to get anything else, get a few more books. (I don't actually consider books presents in the too-many-presents category, as you really can't have too many books.)

And if he's anything like most 3-year-olds I know, the most exciting thing will be the big box that the present comes in. I don't know why kids love boxes so much, but I swear an old piece of cardboard is five times as thrilling to them as anything else.

00100001 · 22/07/2021 16:29

@pinkcircustop

Because it's 5 separate presents. 5 is a lot. 5 is a massive number of individual presents to me.

@DappledThings I think only 5 is pitiful tbh. My parents would get me 30-40 each birthday and Christmas (and of course treats throughout the year) and I do the same for my baby.

You get 30+ gifts for your baby? Confused

What do you buy them???

Briarshollow · 22/07/2021 16:31

[quote pinkcircustop]@Somethingsnappy Yeah, I do take a photo of her with her presents and put it on SM. My SM is family only though and all locked down, and I post those photos because I know they like to see them and see their presents in the pile.

Unfortunately due to covid some of them haven’t even met her yet so these photos mean even more to them. And of course I’ll take a photo/video of her opening and playing with or wearing their presents.[/quote]
Does she wear a band around her head with a flower, too? 🤣

MrsTulipTattsyrup · 22/07/2021 16:32

@LondonElle

More than enough.. I used to buy my children loads of toys for birthdays and Christmas and the majority of them we're barely played with.. now with the 4 of them they have a ridiculous amount of toys and I could kick myself because the money could have been better spent... you sent your own precedent for birthdays so buy as much or as little as you like, but sometimes less is more.
Exactly this! How much use can a child (especially one so young and developing so fast) get out of a pile of new toys, twice a year, before they are outgrown? Surely anything more than a few new things is doomed to waste. Something like a scooter is great as it will grow with the child, but many toys which are age appropriate for a three-year old will quickly be too young for them - unless things like Duplo which can be added to and made more complex over time.
BakewellGin1 · 22/07/2021 16:33

Well I needed a laugh and this has provided it.

OP if you are still there it sounds fine and you can buy however much or little as you like... Sometimes MN is bonkers.

Personally both my DS have birthdays and Christmas within three months of each other.

So whatever they get for those occasions lasts them 9 months. We do a lot of trips out etc throughout the year but not a lot of present/unnecessary toy buying so DS tend to get spoilt a little but we include for example an expensive tracksuit or trainers that oldest wouldn't get on a whim...

For birthdays I tend to do something like for oldest
A Gift Voucher for say Karting
Tickets to his favourite teams match
New Trainers
Aftershave
Meal Out
£100 to do with what he likes

He prefers experiences now rather then presents

Youngest

A few books
A few toys
New Coat or Clothes
Gift Vouchers for Animal Farm, Imaginative Play Area

Each to their own it's not a competition on how much or little you buy as long as you are happy

Onairjunkie · 22/07/2021 16:34

@pinkcircustop these 30 or 40 presents you got, what was the sort of value of each of them? Was it quantity over quality? Or were they all quite pricey?

”I think only 5 is pitiful tbh. My parents would get me 30-40 each birthday and Christmas (and of course treats throughout the year) and I do the same for my baby.”

chunderwunder · 22/07/2021 16:34

@dappledthings

We like to rotate her toys for her each day so she doesn’t get bored and has a nice variety

That's not really how children play though. Is this your first and she's still a baby? Children have their favourite toys and will often play with one for weeks or months exclusively. Are you going to be whipping away her current obsession in favour of a new trinket?

I think as she gets older and doesn't need you to rotate her toys you'll soon realise you have a barely touched pile of stuff.