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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Is this enough for a 3 year old’s birthday?

267 replies

AuntNora · 22/07/2021 10:58

We are getting him:

Scooter
Magnadoodle
Bigjigs battery operated train
Playfoam (a bit like playdough, but less messy apparently!)
Most likely a new book

That’s it from us.

He’s getting a Tonie box from one set of grandparents and a playmobil set from the other set.
He’ll also get gifts from my brother and my DP’s brother and sister.

I always feel like there’s so much pressure to buy a lot of gifts, I don’t know why

OP posts:

Onairjunkie · 22/07/2021 14:56

@Elune

If I'm from an upper middle class background but buy my daughter more than five gifts, am I automatically assigned to the lower classes or can I neutralise it because I buy organic kale and earn over a certain salary?

Now who’s playing classes?! Upper middle class indeed 😆

GreyhoundG1rl · 22/07/2021 14:58

Nobody mentioned salaries 🤔. Or their correlation with class.

BusyLizzie61 · 22/07/2021 14:58

@AuntNora

We are getting him:

Scooter
Magnadoodle
Bigjigs battery operated train
Playfoam (a bit like playdough, but less messy apparently!)
Most likely a new book

That’s it from us.

He’s getting a Tonie box from one set of grandparents and a playmobil set from the other set.
He’ll also get gifts from my brother and my DP’s brother and sister.

I always feel like there’s so much pressure to buy a lot of gifts, I don’t know why

I'm not one to go ott, but I don't see how anyone can say this is a lot/generous.

Is this enough for a 3 year old’s birthday?

Elune · 22/07/2021 14:58

Well if there's a lower class going around buying obscene amounts of gifts and destroying the environment there have to be some higher classes, right?

DappledThings · 22/07/2021 15:00

I'm not one to go ott, but I don't see how anyone can say this is a lot/generous
Because it's 5 separate presents. 5 is a lot. 5 is a massive number of individual presents to me.

ahoyshipmates · 22/07/2021 15:01

That's plenty OP, if he gets any more then he won't play with it all.

And it's only a few months before you-know-what and he'll be inundated with even more toys.

Scarby9 · 22/07/2021 15:09

We always got only one gift from our parents, known as the 'big' or 'main' present.

In childhood, for me that included an easel, a cot, a doll's high chair, a bike, a sewing box, a tennis racket, a gymnastics mat.

My brother had a trike, bikes, Mousetrap, a hotwheels set, a Chelsea football club bag, and a bedspread (which he asked for, aged 8 and still has in his home 50 years later!)

I remember most of them and we never felt in the slightest way deprived.

This child is three. Five presents is definitely enough.

Nat6999 · 22/07/2021 15:09

I've just looked in a book I've been filling in all ds life & for his 3rd birthday we bought him
ELC Till
Lego
An animal set ( bit like Polly pocket)
Books, crayons & drawing paper

So yes that sounds about right, we waited until summer to buy him a scooter as his birthday was in January.

pinkcircustop · 22/07/2021 15:10

Because it's 5 separate presents. 5 is a lot. 5 is a massive number of individual presents to me.

@DappledThings I think only 5 is pitiful tbh. My parents would get me 30-40 each birthday and Christmas (and of course treats throughout the year) and I do the same for my baby.

GreyhoundG1rl · 22/07/2021 15:11

Of course you do.

PrettyBlunt · 22/07/2021 15:15

I think it's fine.

I do tend to go overboard at birthdays and Christmas if I can.

northbacchus · 22/07/2021 15:15

That sounds like plenty, better that than filling the planet with a load of plastic toys which get used once or twice!

PrettyBlunt · 22/07/2021 15:16

@Meraas that's an unfair comment, just because someone has brought their child 15 presents who said they were plastic?

90% of DS's toys are wooden.

lazylinguist · 22/07/2021 15:17

What does 'enough' even mean in this context, OP? Enough compared with what? There is no specific amount that's enough or too much. It sounds like quite a bit more than I'd have bought for mine when they were 3 though.

OP, where is this pressure on you coming from to buy more? Do you have lots of friends who buy loads more for their dc? Are they judgmental? Or is 'there's loads of pressure to buy' just an excuse for buying more and not feeling guilty about it?

AliceMcK · 22/07/2021 15:17

That’s perfectly fine. I certainly don’t think it’s too much.

This is your child, no one else’s, if your happy with that then that’s all that matters. You know what your child needs, no one else x

DappledThings · 22/07/2021 15:18

I think only 5 is pitiful tbh. My parents would get me 30-40 each birthday and Christmas (and of course treats throughout the year) and I do the same for my baby.
That's utterly ludicrous. I'll bet most of those get opened by you rather than the child and most get ignored for ever. No way does a small child have enough interest to sustain going through that much. We asked grandparents and aunts and uncles to keep to one gift each, as we do, so they could actually get enjoyment out of seeing DC opening and playing with them. Anything more than 6 or 7 in total from everyone and they were totally distracted and anything beyond that gets lost in the chaos.

BlowMeDownWithAFeather · 22/07/2021 15:20

It is us adults who build expectations in our children. I asked my grandson aged 2 what he would like for Christmas, he sat down and had a long think. “A ball”, was his reply. Of course we didn’t stop at that. We are the spoilers. Personally I think one big gift like the scooter from parents is fine. Usually there are other gifts from family, friends and party guests.

1forAll74 · 22/07/2021 15:21

Too much I would say. People can get carried away with buying small children too many presents..Then up comes Christmas, and they do it again.A small child will be happy with one or two presents for a birthday, and then that will make the next gift givings easier to buy for as time goes on..

Zzzzzzxxx · 22/07/2021 15:22

My son was 3 in June we where on Holliday in Spain and I was stressing that I hadn’t got him enough presents for his day because of baggage allowances. I had him a touch thing that projected dinosaurs wrapped up for him. Then we took him to buy a new bucket and spade thing. We went to the beach and then to McDonald’s for lunch. Had a nap in the afternoon then went out to dinner where he had cake with a candle in and he was buzzing.

At 3 as long as they have something to open quality time and cake and a song they are so happy. He wasn’t even bothered about his presents when we got home 🙄🙄

But you do have loads don’t worry.

Soubriquet · 22/07/2021 15:23

@DappledThings

I'm not one to go ott, but I don't see how anyone can say this is a lot/generous Because it's 5 separate presents. 5 is a lot. 5 is a massive number of individual presents to me.

Your christmases must be stingey if 5 is a lot

Ghosttile · 22/07/2021 15:24

Ignore Dudley. That’s a nice mix of things.

godmum56 · 22/07/2021 15:26

I suspect that gifts given to littlies are more to please the giver than the birthday child

DappledThings · 22/07/2021 15:28

Your christmases must be stingey if 5 is a lot
By others' standards clearly. Not by mine. Xmas means stocking presents too of course but other than that 1-2 max from us and sane from anyone else.

It's just pointless getting more. When DC1 was 2 he got about 20 presents between immediate family and by new year we were still trying to get him interested in opening them.

Concestor · 22/07/2021 15:29

It's a lot. We do one gift so would buy the scooter and then suggest the other things to family to buy. Is expect my child to get that amount in total from all family and would feel it excessive to get so many gifts just from us

I grew up getting one decent gift per celebration and don't understand the big pile attitude, but I know that people who grew up getting a big pile don't understand mine either!

Having said that, if you have to ask and you are feeling pressure then it's too many for you and you should stop.

Souther · 22/07/2021 15:30

YABU.

That's more than enough.

I only even get mine one present. They get enough from the rest of the family

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