3 year old at restaurant

[Theeamonandruthshow]

We’ve always taken our toddler Ds out with us to eat since being a baby. We live abroad, so generally eat outdoors, by the beach, lots of kids around. He was in his buggy, then a high chair at restaurants when a little older, now he sits in a chair. Only thing is, he obviously doesn’t sit for long without getting bored and starting to want to get up and walk around etc 😬fine if we’re by the beach or park as he can play in front of us. A couple of places we’d like to go to again don’t offer this option. How do you get your child to sit for a slightly longer time at the table? Do you take books, let them play on the tablet/phone, I know this would work but feel bit crappy having to resort to it, but would like to sit and have a conversation as opposed to gulping down my food and trying to persuade Ds to sit a teeny bit longer. Or can we just not do it?

Definitely bring activities. Whatever’s likely to keep him quiet. We’ve never resorted to an iPad/phone, but I’d never say never.

But it also helps to go somewhere that facilitates kids well. Gets their courses out quick and so on.

And plan on a quick visit. Don’t try their patience too much.

I don’t know any 3 years who would sit at a table for 1-2 hours

Toddlers aren't really designed to sit still for long periods of time.

Yes, take something with you along the lines of things suggested, but as one poster said, if you are looking for a relaxing meal as grown ups in a restaurant, babysitter is the answer.

Oh fuck that, I will absolutely let my 3 year old play some games on my phone so we can have a meal in peace. Coloring will only take you so far.

I’ve done this with kids i nanny for a lot and stocker books are good, preferably the ones where they have to flip through to the back to find the relevant ones and stick them in their specific shapes as it takes a bit of concentration- the Lego ones are great for this. And they only get them in this situation so it’s more of a treat. Sometimes drawing pad or colouring but sticker books are a winner.

They only get pudding or Ice cream at end of the meal if behaviour has been good enough, that’s a bargaining tool.

DS1 was always really good in restaurants, so long as we came prepared with plenty of books/small toys.

DS2 has just turned 3 and he hasn’t had much experience of them due to the pandemic. I’m prepared for him to be a total nightmare in comparison.

@Hankunamatata

iPads or colouring

That's probably the best advice but PLEEEEEASE sound off!!!!!

Spent an expensive romantic dinner by the sea listening to phone game guns and explosions I might as well have been in a war zone!!

Mine has just turned 3 and we have done quite a lot of eating out with her over the last month or two after none at all for about a year and a half!

My advice would be:

• Be realistic and pick places that are child friendly. So nowhere too late, nothing too fancy or quiet, somewhere ideally with nearby outdoor area you can take them to play or run around in if if necessary. Places with playgrounds or toys are ideal. My DD also likes to watch other toddlers and babies so family friendly places have that advantage too.
• Be prepared to take them out if you need to.
• I wouldn't bother with the idea that you can sit and have a leisurely meal. We can't. We have to go somewhere we can order quick, get served quick, eat quick and go. My DD will sometimes sit for an hour or so - that's a looooong time for a 3yr old to be at a table! But doesn't give you enough time to enjoy a leisurely meal and conversation. Leave her at home and go out with your friends for that - you can't expect that of a toddler.
• Take things to do. I try and take small toys that she hasn't played with for ages, playing cards for snap, pencil case with crayons, small colouring books, stickers/sticker books, magazines, small books she's not read in ages etc. I just take a few different things each time so she doesn't get too bored. I don't tell her or show her what I'm taking so we can get somewhere and I can see how she is and if she's bored I can whip something out and so on.

I don’t care if I’m in a Toby Carvery or the Oxo Tower, sounds on phones and iPads is rude and selfish.

It does get harder once they are no longer toddlers and don't want to be in a pushchair or highchair etc!
You were lucky to get to 3 with highchairs, all of mine refused whilst they were still toddlers haha. Sometime between 1.5 & 2. I always had crayons and some paper/colouring book in my bag but now they are older (2+) they have their own little backpacks with own crayons / pencils, colouring book. Sometimes stickers, very handy. They can carry their own water and snack too. ;) Although we don't always use them, sometimes we just chat about whatever whilst having our drinks waiting for the food.
Definitely get him his own little backpack with all the essentials! Makes going places generally a lot easier.

My DD is only 19 months but we try to take her to restaurant regularly, and I follow how I watched my SIL do it with her children (now 8 & 4)

A selection of their favourite small toys/figures
A pad of paper & crayons or pencils
A book
An iPad (this only comes out if the child has finished eating before the adults and they've been well behaved, just to buy some extra time! Sound off or headphones)

I used to judge things pre DS.

But now, do what you need to do to keep them sat happily and not disturbing others. You can adjust your rules/expectations as they get older but when little do what is needed!

We stopped eating out with the kids.

The only places we go with them for food now are places they’d enjoy or something fast so we’re done quickly.

But yes take toys/colouring.

Me & my DH are we’re on our own a few weeks ago & a lady at another table had bought a comic for her little one which worked really well for them. Appreciate your DC is a bit young though

We don’t do iPad/ phone as I kind of think this awkward stage is a ‘pain barrier’ you have to go through to teach them to behave appropriately in a restaurant.

DS is mostly ok with chatting, and a lot of places offer a small kids starter like breadsticks and dip which comes out quickly and is a good time filler before the mains. He loves a ‘special drink’ too. We will let him take small toys, and have a chat before about expectations of behaviour. Also we tend to avoid places that we know will take a long time to serve us.

I agree with everyone else who mentions the sounds on iPads! Drove me nuts on holiday recently. But then I guess if they have headphones on, there’s no chance of them being able to join in the conversation etc.

^ I realise that the above sounds judgy, it really wasn’t meant to be! Do what works for you.

Order their food ASAP, and have their pudding arrive when adults have mains.

Mine like sticker books (usbourne ones are really good). What about those magic water paint pen books? I usually bring some little figures like Peppa pig characters or similar and those entertain them too.

To be quite honest though, I'm not at all opposed to iPads in the slightest in these circumstances.

I'd never give them during a meal at home but I want to enjoy a meal if I'm going out for one and while they are little I think it's absolutely fine to use them occasionally so that everyone has a good time. Definitely bring headphones though.

iPads.

We take our toddlers to Michelin star restaurants for lunch sometimes. They'll happily sit and watch Peppa for ages (headphones in!).

I usually resort to sticker books, Lego (dd3 loves to build things with her dad) play doh, pipe cleaners and Pom poms to play a bit of finger croquet on the table and a couple of the orchard mini games usually buy us an hour to an hour and a half!

We love eating out but from when ours started to walk until about 4 we only rarely eat out. For us the enjoyment of a meal out was ruined by having to constantly deal with toddlers in a situation they did not want to be in and are to young to reason with

I always take something like this for ds and change up what i put in there

Books
Colouring
Small toys
Tegu blocks

As soon as you introduce phones or tablets you’ll never be able to go back

Sticker books and those magnetic scenes you can get, are good. Also colouring, etch-a-sketch, any little toys that won't be too stimulating.

I resort to phone last. I don't take an entire iPad, if service is very slow.

Don't expect a 3 yo to sit for long at the end of a meal, it's not realistic.

What works for us is 1/3 coloring time 1/3 eating time 1/3 iPad time on lowish volume, obviously not in a posh restaurant.

@Figgygal
As soon as you introduce phones or tablets you’ll never be able to go back
Meh, think it’ll be fine.

I don’t have children this age, but what is the problem with tablets at the table? Genuinely curious, as I would have thought that as long as the sound is turned off it’s no different to colouring in or reading, in fact you can do both these things on tablets and you’d cart less stuff around. I understand phones and tablets are rude for adults and older children as it means they are not paying attention to the conversation, but surely that’s you want with a young child?