To be pissed off at mothers who take their kids to toddlers full of the cold!!!!!

[elliemac]

Have just been to toddlers where one of the mothers was moaning that her DS had been up all night coughing. He was stood there with green snot all down his face poor little mite. He should have been indoors. Now its going to be passed round all the kids

Once they have the cold whats wrong with staying in and warm? It sounds like many people who espose the 'more codls make them stronger' are actually talking about other people's children. They are the ones insisting on taking their kids out to infect other people's.
Why think you know what is best for others kids. If you want your child to have lots of colds then fine. But not everyone shares that viewpoint.

needmorecoffee, by the time the green snot appears the cold is rarely still contagious and is a sign that enough phagocytes are being produced to fight the infection (snot is effectively white blood cells and bacteria/crap from the nose which has been 'caught'. Colds have an incubation period of several days before the symptoms are obvious so keeping children away from snotty children is not effective. This is regardless of immunity issues or age.

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elliemac, you only have one child ? wait till you have more, your views will change!

I wouldn't take my child with a cold to see a newborn baby or to anywhere I knew there was a child with reduced immunity, but otherwise yes, a cold is just a cold - get out there - child might perk up instead of being festering in the hosue. Parent will almost certainly perk yup instead of being driven insane stuck at home.

Children can be quite perky one minute, then suddenly appear much worse - so a miserable child might not have been miserable when they left home. Conversely, a porrly child can perk up quickly with calopl -perhaps the parent thought they were on the up?

As a teacher, it drives me mad when kids stay off for a cold - what sort of life lesson does this teach tehm? And at any one time, 200 kids have got some bugs or other, so no worries about infecting others - they're all at it!

Needmorecoffee - if I saw an "uber-disabled" child in a wheelchair, I'm sorry, but it wouldn't occur to me for one moment that they'd be susceptible to colds. I'd just assume they had difficulties walking, etc. Don't think I can be alone in this.

Also, in winter, when my kids have non-stop colds, is it reasonable for me to not take my children along to things for several weeks/months because a disabled child with reduced immunity is there? A one-off, yes, but surely there comes a point where a child with suchseriously reduced immunity is advised by doctors not to go to such places - surely the onus is on that hcild's parent if it is such a serious problem?

thought provoking thread. I think the OP is being reasonable - I don't think toddler group is the right place for an unwell child (as opposed to a sniffly one). Even if DS is a couple of days into a particulary nasty cold/bug so isn't as unwell anymore, I would tend to avoid group kiddie fests like M & T to avoid passing on a really nasty bug. He does seem to have a permanently snotty nose though - I think it is just him rather than anything infections!

but NMC isn't suggesting all kids with a cold should be in purdah - as she posted earlier, "like I said, there's a huge difference between cold and hacking cough spraying green snot everywhere.". I interpret that as those with particularly unpleasant or erm effusive bugs.

I'm quite shocked that it wouldn't occur to people that 'uber-disabled' (I like that phrase nmc can i borrow it) children have problems with immunity. I don't think for one moment all children in wheelchairs do, but children with severe/profound cp of course.

Whilst I do send my children out with (non-febrile) colds, I'm always extra careful with ds3. He loves to climb onto ds1's school bus each morning. Two of the bus regulars are uber-disabled and for that reason he doesn't get on when there's the possibility he might pass on something.

Yurt, from now on, I will certainly bear it in mind, but it really had never occurred to me to be extra alert regarding bugs and people in wheelchairs. Although I am fully aware of CP "symptoms" (sorry can't think of better word), and in the cold light of day, it now seems sensible that a CP sufferer's condition would be worsened by exposure to colds etc, it wouldn't have occurred to me to avoid them if I had a cold. And I'm not certain I could identify s.o. with CP for certain - I'm not a doctor, and wouldn't like to make assumptions about someone's condition based on what I can see. Not proud of this, just a fact - a different persepective from NMC who clearly lives with this every day - I don't, and don't think the same way, and don't think I can be the only one like this.

nmc is talking severely severely disabled though (sorry nmc). I mean I see kiddies at disabled swimming etc with CP who I wouldn't place in this category- they are quite mobile, swim well and can sit easily etc then I go into ds1's school and there are children being pushed around in what only can be described as a bed as they can't sit up ( I don't know enough about CP to understand why some of the students with PMLD have to spend their time lying down whilst others can sit).

Its the ladck of mobility and muscle power that makes some CP kids vunerable. Being able to move strengthens your coughing/breathing muscles. All quadraplegics are in danger of respiratory issues because of this. Its generally what kills mobility impaired children.
Lack of mobility also causes constipation which affects drug absorption, nutrient absorption and so leads to a lower immune system and a poorer response to medicines.
So now you know.

But I also don't think people should make decsions about others people's kids. When one of mine had measles I didn't think 'well, I think all kids should get it cos then they'll have immunity for life' and take her out. I didn't inflict what I thought was best on others. Instead I stayed in and asked if any friends wanted measles. Of course it was hard. She was4 and I had a 3 yo and a 1 yo. Neither of whom caught measles dammit.
Someone bringing a tot with a sniffle to toddlers is very different to someone bringing a rather sick infectious child covered in snot. And if they marched in claiming they were doing it for the good of herd immunity and we'd thank them one day and after all, their 3 yo needs to learn a work ethic I'd probably deck them.
I know most mums cringe when they see a snot covered child who is obviously ill. Not just me with dd with CP, but those who have a wedding to go to or who work or have a holiday booked. They all think 'ffs, thats not just a sniffle, thats unreasonable'
I used to think it when I'd take the kids to school and see a 5 yo classmate hacking away. More bloody coughs I'd think. I thought it last week when ds1 (14) came home. His best mate had been sent to school all week with an awful cough, phlegm filling tissues and feeling rotten. Both best mates parents worked in high powered jobs and didn't want to take time off. By the end of the week half the class was ill, ds had to have 3 days off as he was very poorly and then the teacher was off too. All that misery caused by one selfish parent. Needless to say we had to confine ds to his room and wash hands cos if dd had got it there would have been another jolly stay in hospital.
If that one lad had stayed away its doubtful that this would have all happenend.

true Yurt. In CP the markers for 'not likely to make it' are
Unable to sit or roll
unable to hold up head
no hand function
menatl retardation
seizures

My dd has 4 of those 5. She doesn't have a mental/cogntive impairment (at least not yet.)
50% chance of making it to 10, not helped by people who think its ok to spread what they got 'for the benefit of others'

no time to read all posts but yes YABU. Life goes on, and sometimes those groups are a lifeline for depressed/bored/exhausted parents.
Not if they have puke thing though that really off pisses me "oooh yes he threw up three times last night" whilst said child is breathing vomitous fumes in your lo's direction.

God, just seen tmc's posts. I feel for you immensely. And in that instance I would be v with blithe parents bringing in their under-par kids. My nephew is similar, has heart disease/brittle bones/really low immunity and can catch everything.

nmc's posts.

Agree with TooManyDaves.

Temperature and vomting/diarrhoea should mean the child stays at home. But all other cold bugs are acceptable IMO. My first child never caught cold (still never gets them even when the whole family is suffering) but my second child had his first cold aged 8 days old, my third had one every month until she was about 2 and my fourth had one every 2 weeks (I kid you not) until he was about 2.

I would have been a hermit for about 7 years if I never took them out when they were snotty.

nmc - did yours get measles?

One of mine had measles but the other two didn't catch it. One also had whooping cough and she was the only vaccinated one.
My eldest was tested for rubella immunity as she's a teen and she was immune so at some point she must have had rubella (we didn't do the MMR)

Got a letter from the school today asking parents not to send dc to school ill. (There was a massive epidemic of flu & gastro last week - 42 out of 320 kids out of school, plus teachers). This is going to cause a massive complaint from working parents!

Yes, a lot of absences but we can't live in a bubble! Wash hands after loo, cover mouth when coughing, sneeze into kleenex, etc...

fortunecookie - wish my daughter's school would do this . There was a little boy at the school gate last Friday whose mother was about to take him to hospital for tests for his cough that had lasted three weeks, he was vomiting every night from so much coughing and she still sent him to school...

Guess who has the cough now? But she's at home in the warm, not at school.

No not unreasonable. I've kept my two at home today. Not great for me as I also am full of cold. Who knows how many other families I might have saved from it today who will, unlike me be able to get on with their Christmas shopping When we are full of cold we are not able to care for my 83 year olf FIL whose next cold will likely finish him off.
I wish someone else had shown us the same consideration and kept theirs at home just for the first day or two of the cold at least especially as DS suffers more with his asthma when he has a cold.

My dd1 is at nursery and last week and only 10 out the 28 children were in as the rest had bad colds or a sickness virus.