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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be pissed off at mothers who take their kids to toddlers full of the cold!!!!!

222 replies

elliemac · 26/11/2007 15:19

Have just been to toddlers where one of the mothers was moaning that her DS had been up all night coughing. He was stood there with green snot all down his face poor little mite. He should have been indoors. Now its going to be passed round all the kids

OP posts:
Sushipaws · 26/11/2007 19:49

Phew, I thought you were talking about me there, then I saw it was a ds not a dd

alicet · 26/11/2007 20:10

Only read OP.

Honestly you can't possibly expect people to keep their kids away because all they have is a cold? This is madness - they have colds all the time as toddlers! If they have diarrhoea and vomiting thats totally different but I would never keep my boys away because of colds. Long term it builds up your childrens immunity to be exposed to stuff like this anyway. If you are worried about your child catching a cold I suggest you bring them up in a bibble with reverse airflow so they can't catch germs. And never go out yourself and never kiss or cuddle your child in case they catch something from you

You are being unreasonable.

alicet · 26/11/2007 20:11

bubble not bibble!

Jacanne · 26/11/2007 20:15

If I stayed in every time my dd's had colds we would have been house bound all winter, every winter. I think you are being a bit unreasonable, sorry

Jacanne · 26/11/2007 20:17

Sorry, that's dds not dd's.

Flibbertyjibbet · 26/11/2007 20:18

YABU. I say 'bring on the germs'. Makes them healthier in the long run if they get exposed to and build up immunities to every thing when younger.

meglet · 26/11/2007 20:22

snotty green nose / coughing / high temp, stay at home if poss.

But if you have more than one LO then you'll have to go out at some point. I guess as long as the poorly one is wrapped up well, and in a pushchair then the fresh air will do them good.

blueshoes · 26/11/2007 21:20

My dcs go to fulltime nursery. Short of temp or DV, they go in. Colds or snot or coughs don't even register. All in accordance with nursery policy. After one year of on-off low level illness, dd is now (touchwood) virtually indestructible. And if she gets anything, shakes it off within a day. Can't even get her to catch chickenpox.

Cottonwooling dcs is counterproductive. Agree that when you have more than one dc and/or go to work, you will take a more robust attitude. Most important is that mummy does not fall sick!

Hassled · 26/11/2007 21:25

Agree that exposure to germs etc is a good thing, you can't keep kids in a bubble because they're a bit snotty etc., but FGS wipe their noses!!! It's not the exposure to bugs that worries me, it's the fact that green snot all over a kid's face (even one of my own kids) makes me want to gag. It's Spread germs around by all means, but not the actual snot itself.

needmorecoffee · 27/11/2007 08:20

like I said, there's a huge difference between cold and hacking cough spraying green snot everywhere. But many parents still send an ill child to school. At dd's school some lad turned up with raging temp, snot, shivers, the whole flu thing. This is a school where severeal kids are on oxgyen via a trach tube, all are quadraplegic and many have seizures. The dad was most pissed off when the school nurse made him take his son home (his son was one of the very few who are mobile but have learning disabilities - most of the school are physically impaired but no learning disabilities) He was ranting and raving. Selfish arse.

makemedothehouseworkmumofDJ · 27/11/2007 09:47

wow what an interesting thread

i dont think you are being unreasonable!

i think its pretty selfish! yes maybe the mother did need out as did the child but i dont think the toddlers is the best place as the child was clearly unwell, coughin, running with snot and why expose other children to illness unnecessarily?

And yes we cant avoid bugs but if everyone was even a bit more cautious in keeping away when infectious im sure LESS would pass about and not all colds / coughs are harmless and worth catching as some can floor little ones for weeks

Its a diff story a kid wo is nearly over something but one in the obviously acute/ ill/ infectious stage being brought into contact with all of sundry just makes me think the mother or father doesnt give much of a toss about others if im honest!

CrushWithEyeliner · 27/11/2007 09:51

bring on the germs? [hmmm]
bring on the sleepless nights, fevers, chesty coughs, dosing up with yukky calpol..

Those of you who feel it is no big issue please spare a thought for those LO who are not that strong. "Harmless" colds hit DD like a ton of bricks and she almost always develops into a chest infection as she is bronchial and takes weeks to reciver - it dosen't build her immunity folks, just drags her down.

CrushWithEyeliner · 27/11/2007 09:51

sorry for the awful spelling and grammar there

TheMadHouse · 27/11/2007 09:52

As I said earlier down the thread, my son has a condition that would make him apear to be ill to the onlooker, but he is perfectly OK, not going to pass anything nasty on. It is just that if he gets any type of infection it goes straight to his chest.

I do take hom to playgroup, mums and toddlers and music like this, as if I didnt we would be in the house all the time.

I do not feel that I should explain myself to all the mothers, but I do tell the group leader, so if anyone want s to complain to her they can.

It is imporatant to me that he is exposed to as many people as possible as I would like him to hopefully build up an imunity prior to schooling and also I want him to carry on as any other child would.

Original poster
elliemac · 27/11/2007 12:29

To all those who think i am being unreasonable - I wasn't talking about just a bit of snot. I was talking about a child who was quite obviously ill and miserable. I am very well aware that there are a lot of colds etc going round and of course my DD is going to get them but hey, lets all take our ill kids to these groups and make other kids just as miserable if they catch it!

OP posts:
Wisteria · 27/11/2007 16:59

..but Elliemac - you asked if people thought you were and the majority clearly do!

Incidentally, a lot of parents (and I count myself as one) feel that it is better to work through things and get out as normal; yes their colds and other bugs will be passed around but he probably got the cold from toddlers or a similar environment. At my daughter's school they specifically request that children are not kept off school with colds but only with S&D or a high temperature. In your op you didn't mention that he was miserable, just that he had green snot down his face which, at this time of year, many of them do.

I can understand how you felt of course, but would bet my bottom dollar that your views will change, and that isn't supposed to sound patronising in any way, it's just a fact of life.

Original poster
elliemac · 27/11/2007 19:28

You'll never believe this!! Since about 3 o'clock i've felt really crap. Blocked nose, cough and sore throat!! Is there something going round at the minute or what?

Thats what i get for moaning. No toddlers for me on thurs

OP posts:
Wisteria · 28/11/2007 08:40

elliemac, I have woken up with a sore throat and am feeling more achey than usual!

My dd had it this weekend so it's now obviously my turn!

niceglasses · 28/11/2007 08:54

YABU sorry. If i'd stayed in every time one of my 3 had a cold, I'd have died from lack of fresh air.

Colds, man, they are all around us.

bozza · 28/11/2007 09:17

DS is nearly 7 and during his first 3 years he had so many colds you wouldn't believe, one after another, summer and winter. At 6 weeks old he had had a cold for half his life! But he is now in year 2 and has not had a day off sick since the middle term of reception.

Anna8888 · 28/11/2007 09:29

It really is much better to avoid respiratory infections (eg coughs and colds) in the first three years of life, when the lungs and respiratory system of a child are not mature. Contrary to what some people on this thread seem to believe, your child will have much stronger lungs in later life and be more resistent to respiratory disease if he/she has not been exposed to respiratory infections as a baby/toddler.

If parents kept their children inside and properly warm at the first sign of a cold, they wouldn't develop.

Of course, this is much easier said than done and circumstances often dictate that we have to take our children outside and to public places when they have coughs and colds. But we shouldn't be cavalier about it - it would be better for their health (long-term), and the health of other babies and toddlers, to keep them away from others and at home in the warm.

Misdee · 28/11/2007 09:34

arrrrrrrgh, i cant believe this trhead.

you are NOT being unreasonable.

[mutters darkly]

belgo · 28/11/2007 09:39

that's a good point Anna. I can't dd1 home from school for two days last week because she had a sore throat and I was anticipating that she would get worse (she's recently had tonsilitis and croup). Fortunately the sore throat didn't deveol any further possibly because she was at home resting and was able to fight off the infection.

No one likes going out when they have a cold - and when children are this small, it doesn't seem very kind to make them go to things when they are best off at home.

belgo · 28/11/2007 09:39

I kept not I can't

needmorecoffee · 28/11/2007 09:45

What I don't like is the smugness of all those with non-disabled children. We have to be on the alert at all times, our children need to be included in society but are then put at risk by someone who can't bear to stay in a couple of days with a sick child. You've only got a couple of days, we have a lifetime.
Govt guidelines are to stay at home when sick not spread it around.

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