To insist the cat goes back to the RSPCA?

[Hellvelyn]

We got a rescue cat from the RSPCA just over two years ago. Much wanted by dd and seemed like a good idea. DS and DD are now 16 and 18 ( years 11 and 13)
Cat is sweet natured and friendly but OMFG she's caused havoc and cost us hundreds of pounds. She just won't reliably pee outside or in the litter tray. She's ruined two carpets. I've spent hours cleaning up after her and we've tried everything to persuade her to wee where she should (multiple vet investigations, different litter and litter trays, products to help her relax, products to deter inappropriate weeing, advice from RSPCA. You name it. We've tried it.) End of last year she was doing better. We then had a long planned downstairs extension. Cat was in a (lovely) local cattery for 10 weeks as we didn't want her upset by all the disruption and for the peeing to get worse. On her return she was so settled and found her spot in the sun in our new conservatory and was weeing reliably in her tray. Suddenly last week I saw her weeing up the wall of our lovely new extension and all over a laptop. Closer inspection and sniffing indicated this wasn't the first time. Today she weed up our bookcase onto precious photo albums. I've just had enough. She's damaged one thing too many now. We had a family talk tonight. DCs are upset at the thought of her going, DS in particular who said " but she's part of our family....." AIBU to just want her to return to the RSPCA? Will my kids ever forgive me? Aaaaagh!

People on mumsnet are bonkers. It’s clear you’ve tried lots of things and are asking for advice to see if there’s anything else you can try. I can’t believe anyone would be happy to live in a house that stinks of cat wee. Lots of people on here clearly didn’t see she had these issues before going to the cattery 🙄

I don’t have any advice I’m afraid except maybe confining her to a small area so she doesn’t have free reign and putting her outside. Also maybe there’s some sort of medication that may help.

As for your children, they’re young adults they’ll get over it if you do have to re-home her.

Well, apparently cats and children are the same, as there is now a banner ad to adopt a US teen at the top of this page.

Cat lover here. My two indoor cats (ages 6 and 5) were rehomed with my parents when I moved abroad. They were let outside and absolutely loved it. They would come running when called but apart from that they were rarely seen. There was no cat flap so they couldn't come and go as they pleased, but they never asked to be let into the house (there were outbuildings).

I would try that first. Personally I think banishing to one room is cruel, it would be kinder to PTS.

I agree that you can't tolerate an animal or human randomly pissing everywhere.

This cat is not happy - she is stressed for some reason and it’s not likely to be completely related to the cattery. It’s possible she doesn’t like your DC, would prefer a 1-person household etc.

Contact the vet and ask about anti-anxiety medication. Ask the RSPCA again for advice. Maybe turn her into a mostly outdoor cat- you can get insulated cat huts.

Get your teens involved in cleaning up every single wee - they are old enough to be caring for their own pet, and might actually start to appreciate how awful cat wee is.

This situation is awful and anyone criticising for considering re-homing must have low standards of cleanliness and be happy to live in a stink-filled home.

I am a cat lover but also wouldn't want the smell of urine 24/7 in the home. There is a reason why she is doing this but the main point is whether or not you are invested enough to try to find out why.

If you are going to rehome her, please don't send her to the RSPCA - the are renowned for putting unwanted healthy animals to sleep. Try to find a local cat rescue charity who will foster her out to one of their people and who can work with her to try to alleviate this problemm before rehoming her.

AND maybe SHE doesn't like living with YOU! Maybe YOU stress her out! Is your home busy, noisy? She may need a quiet home to be happy and feel at peace.

RSPCA - no
Cat rescue - yes

A cattery for 10 weeks? 😬

Maybe she doesn't actually like the covered litterbox (quite a few of mine haven't liked them, even though it's more convenient for us). Could you re-adapt so that the box is open but there's a tall backing on it to catch the wee?

We took our cat to a cat rescue a couple of years ago for this exact reason.

Took the cat to the vets numerous times as you have done but no cause was found. Tried a million different types of litters, litter trays, having numerous litter trays dotted all over the house, endless bottles of enzyme cleaner to lift the scent of its piss, catnip, feliway plugins, lots of toys incase it was ‘bored’ (suggested on a cat forum). Honestly paid hundreds, if not thousands of pounds trying to resolve the issue and had to replace a lot of different things it had peed on and destroyed. We couldn’t even own a bath mat or doormat anymore because it always pissed on all of them. Also pissed all over our post every day, wires were another favourite and it once pissed on my students coursework…

I took it to a rescue because we had a baby who was on the verge of crawling at the time and I had an image of him crawling through its piss and getting it in his eyes. Didn’t really feel guilty tbh, I was so stressed out by it. I wouldn’t blame you for doing this at all, it’s a completely stressful situation and it smells so bad.

YANBU

I'd get rid of the cat. No way could I live like that.

I would build a run in the garden if you have the space. When I left home, I rented a cottage and in the garden was a cat run with a little caravan in it. The previous tenant had built it for his pissy cat and called round a month after moving out, asking me if I would take on the care of the cat as it wasn't working out in the new place. With the run and the caravan, the cat never once peed inappropriately. I used to sit in there and do my office work and watch telly with the cat on my lap. The actual owner used to come and take him to the vets for check ups and shots and stuff and it worked out well. I have always liked tabby and whites ever since.

OP DO NOT TAKE THE CAT TO THE RSPCA. Fgs, the poor thing is distressed for some reason. Would you like to be put down next time you’re anxious?

You could regime through your local vet, Gumtree or other websites such as Pets for Homes. Honestly, there are thousands of crazy cat people who would take your cat rather than see him / her pts. Try advertising locally - do you have ‘Nextdoor’ or similar, or local WhatsApp groups? Just because your cat pees in your house, it doesn’t mean he / she will per in all homes. You have a responsibility to find a good life for this cat, if you can’t cope yourself.

As for your children, it will be much easier for them if they can see where the cat is going to - that it’s a loving home with safe, outdoor space, etc. Please do the right thing.

Rehome - not regime!

As hard as it must be having to clean up urine and suffer the damages to your home, I’m pretty certain that your kitty isn’t doing this on purpose or to upset you. Personally don’t agree with the notion that if something is becoming an inconvenience then you should simply get rid - that’s not really how life works. Obviously it’s your decision but I would have never forgiven my mother if she’d have gotten rid of one of my childhood pets.

@Yaya26

Oh I completely sympathise. I have a dog who was dumped on me last year despite my protests. Kids love him. I am fond of him when he's not stressing me out . He has cost me thousands of pounds and many arguments with the DH. He has dug up gardens, eaten chunks of a wooden playhouse, eaten numerous deliveries (despite me plastering the house asking delivery drivers not to leave parcels outside but in garage) eaten clothes of washing line ( never the worn out clothes) eaten several pairs of trainers, killed two kittens and a couple of hens, eaten a seatbelt out my car, Christmas lights . I could go on forever. I have spent a fortune on training (apparently he's very intelligent and loads of energy (no sh*t). I'm really afraid to say it I but I think we might be turning a corner. My daughter left a pair of shoes outside today and he didn't devour them Immediately . I love animals but they are no fun when they are misbehaving.

Why is your dog being given unfettered access to all these items? Your dog sounds bored. Have you tried crate training? And a dog trainer? The dog trainer will train you btw.

it probably does sound callous but I put my own mental health and wellbeing first. if this is causing you the level of stress that is coming across in your posts then no, you are not unreasonable to consider rehoming.

you have tried lots of things so far - only you know if you have the patience to keep going or whether to accept you and the cat are not a good match.

My cute little fur ball protest pees - if he's being kept in for any reason he will pee in front of the door or his cat flap.

It was successfully sorted out by spraying Feliway spray on his areas of protest, expensive but could be worth trying as he hasn't done it since

It's incredibly wearing to have a cat who repeatedly urinates in the house. No one could blame you for having thoughts of sending the cat back.
But no one else is going to want to adopt a cat which wees everywhere; I would say she's essentially un-rehomable, unless someone can take the time and effort to work out what is making her stressed and unhappy (as that's almost always why female cats wee in inappropriate places).
I think cat charities sometime rehome these animals in outdoors locations, farms, riding stables etc, or keep them in outsoor pens in a permanent foster home. Or maybe put them to sleep if that's the only option.

This is very probably what's known as "idiopathic cystitis", OP - which is psychological rather than physiological. I think there have been too many disruptions in your home - and therefore in her life - for your particular cat to handle. Some cats need a totally predictable and unchanging environment, and she may well be one of them.

@Porcupineintherough

If it was a cat that had killed some birds *@Furries* would you be as horrified and recommending a muzzle?

That argument has been done to death. Not the point right now.

We had the same thing with two of our cats and followed the increasingly insane advice - nothing worked.. They weren't nervous, traumatised etc I think they just hadn't been trained properly and didn't really get it..

Anyway - it sucks and I fully endorse rehoming..

I couldn’t live in a house covered in animal piss. I’d have to try to make her into a mainly outdoor cat.

I had an old boy who started to piss & soil through illness. We cleaned & cleaned for about a year. It was rank. I dreaded coming home or getting up in the morning.

He eventually became too poorly and was PTS but I think I was at the point that I couldn't bear any more of it. Even if he hadn't deteriorated, I think we would have had to expedite it anyway. He hated it too. And cat piss and cat shit is particularly unpleasant.

I have rehomed a cat. He was a rescue we didn't really ask for (long story). Long haired and very scared of humans. Couldn't get near enough to groom him. He would soil in corners if you didn't boot him out enough. Bless him. My children were too little to have that around at the time.
I'm sure someone saw his big flat face and fell in love because he was rehomed fairly.quickly. I did feel awful but he would have got worse with us, not better.

If my parents had returned a stray cat who had made a home with us I would never have forgiven them.

Would you have been handling all the pee and taking over the costs?

My late lamented bonkers runty 16 year old cat started peeing everywhere about 18 months before he died. It was a complete pain but we'd had him since he was 8 weeks old so I felt responsible for him. (miss him really horribly but that put DH off ever having another cat)

Pets are supposed to enhance your life. A house full of cat pee isn't an enhancement - get your DCs to find a no kill shelter andvrehome the poor thing. It will be better for all of you including the cat

She will either be homed for years to come. Depending if they’ve got space

Or she will be euthanised. It depends if the home she’s going too has space and time.

If you’re ok with that happening. Then go for it. Cats are much harder to rehome weirdly.

I worked in these places. They are loud. They smell. We have so many animals we don’t have time to give life and time to each animal. It’s horrific and part of the reason I couldn’t stay there

@Thisisthewaywego

This cat is not happy - she is stressed for some reason and it’s not likely to be completely related to the cattery. It’s possible she doesn’t like your DC, would prefer a 1-person household etc.

Contact the vet and ask about anti-anxiety medication. Ask the RSPCA again for advice. Maybe turn her into a mostly outdoor cat- you can get insulated cat huts.

Get your teens involved in cleaning up every single wee - they are old enough to be caring for their own pet, and might actually start to appreciate how awful cat wee is.

This situation is awful and anyone criticising for considering re-homing must have low standards of cleanliness and be happy to live in a stink-filled home.

This situation is awful and anyone criticising for considering re-homing must have low standards of cleanliness and be happy to live in a stink-filled home.

No, we don't. We clean up after the cat, same as we'd clean up a child or vulnerable person with a problem. The first cat we adopted had feline IBS. One of our current ones does. Same again. You clean up after the cat, find out what's upsetting it, and sort it out. One of ours has to have special powder mixed with her food every few days to keep her healthy and happy.

What we don't do is consider re-homing our cats. Same as we wouldn't put a kid up for adoption if they needed help. They are part of our family.