To insist the cat goes back to the RSPCA?

[Hellvelyn]

We got a rescue cat from the RSPCA just over two years ago. Much wanted by dd and seemed like a good idea. DS and DD are now 16 and 18 ( years 11 and 13)
Cat is sweet natured and friendly but OMFG she's caused havoc and cost us hundreds of pounds. She just won't reliably pee outside or in the litter tray. She's ruined two carpets. I've spent hours cleaning up after her and we've tried everything to persuade her to wee where she should (multiple vet investigations, different litter and litter trays, products to help her relax, products to deter inappropriate weeing, advice from RSPCA. You name it. We've tried it.) End of last year she was doing better. We then had a long planned downstairs extension. Cat was in a (lovely) local cattery for 10 weeks as we didn't want her upset by all the disruption and for the peeing to get worse. On her return she was so settled and found her spot in the sun in our new conservatory and was weeing reliably in her tray. Suddenly last week I saw her weeing up the wall of our lovely new extension and all over a laptop. Closer inspection and sniffing indicated this wasn't the first time. Today she weed up our bookcase onto precious photo albums. I've just had enough. She's damaged one thing too many now. We had a family talk tonight. DCs are upset at the thought of her going, DS in particular who said " but she's part of our family....." AIBU to just want her to return to the RSPCA? Will my kids ever forgive me? Aaaaagh!

Give the cat back to the RSPCA, with a generous donation.

And I mean generous! £x,xxx.

You made a mistake, human, but it is an expensive mistake to clean up, so sacrifice in cash what you couldn't sacrifice in other ways for the cat you initially committed to.

We had to rehome ours several years ago as my daughter was horrifically allergic to him.
We got the cat from a sanctuary and it was a heart wrenching decision to have him rehomed again.
The allergy was affecting our daughters eyes With recurrent swelling of the eye and even the whites of her eye.
It does sound like you have tried really hard. And sadly sometimes quality of life has to come first.

@SmidgenofaPigeon

Well sure, if you’re okay with them probably euthanising her.

I wouldn't say "probably", I'd go so far as to say it would be a99.99% certainty that they would euthanized.

I've had experience of them euthanising no less than 3 cats that I'd had involvement with for absolutely no reason.

One was a 5wk old kitten who I'd been hand feeding because he wouldn't feed from his mum, they took them both, I told them I'd been hand feeding him, but they put him with his mum, surprise, surprise, 24hrs in their "care" and he wouldn't feed from her so rather than put in a little bit of effort they euthanised him.

The other two had been dumped by their owner in my neighbourhood and I'd been feeding them and offering them shelter in my shed but couldn't actually keep them myself. I was told by their previous owner when I tracked her down through their microchips that they'd been together since they were kittens. Along came the rspca, I told them one cat was a bit scratchy so she should be handled by their vet with gloves, the other was gorgeous, no problems whatsoever. They took them away, I called the following day to ask how they were and was told that the one had scratches the vet, so they'd euthanised her. A week later I was told that the other one had refused to eat since losing her 'sister' so they'd euthanized her too.

All of these were cross-breeds (moggies) so there's very little monetary gain to be had by the rspca, which is one of the main reasons they routinely euthanise.

[quote Harmonypuss]@SmidgenofaPigeon

Well sure, if you’re okay with them probably euthanising her.

I wouldn't say "probably", I'd go so far as to say it would be a99.99% certainty that they would euthanized.

I've had experience of them euthanising no less than 3 cats that I'd had involvement with for absolutely no reason.

One was a 5wk old kitten who I'd been hand feeding because he wouldn't feed from his mum, they took them both, I told them I'd been hand feeding him, but they put him with his mum, surprise, surprise, 24hrs in their "care" and he wouldn't feed from her so rather than put in a little bit of effort they euthanised him.

The other two had been dumped by their owner in my neighbourhood and I'd been feeding them and offering them shelter in my shed but couldn't actually keep them myself. I was told by their previous owner when I tracked her down through their microchips that they'd been together since they were kittens. Along came the rspca, I told them one cat was a bit scratchy so she should be handled by their vet with gloves, the other was gorgeous, no problems whatsoever. They took them away, I called the following day to ask how they were and was told that the one had scratches the vet, so they'd euthanised her. A week later I was told that the other one had refused to eat since losing her 'sister' so they'd euthanized her too.

All of these were cross-breeds (moggies) so there's very little monetary gain to be had by the rspca, which is one of the main reasons they routinely euthanise.[/quote]
Second this. RSPCA are renowned for euthanising, especially those who are seen as ‘unadoptable’. I wouldn’t be sending any animal back there to be honest, it’s horrific. Anyone who thinks the RSPCA are an amazing animal charity are very naive.

The reason that cat was at the SPCA was because her previous owners couldnt put up with this either. I can't understand why people are giving you such a hard time. I hope they are all vegetarians at least even if they have meat eating cats. It sounds like you have tried almost everything. I wouldnt put up with this either.

[quote Harmonypuss]@SmidgenofaPigeon

Well sure, if you’re okay with them probably euthanising her.

I wouldn't say "probably", I'd go so far as to say it would be a99.99% certainty that they would euthanized.

I've had experience of them euthanising no less than 3 cats that I'd had involvement with for absolutely no reason.

One was a 5wk old kitten who I'd been hand feeding because he wouldn't feed from his mum, they took them both, I told them I'd been hand feeding him, but they put him with his mum, surprise, surprise, 24hrs in their "care" and he wouldn't feed from her so rather than put in a little bit of effort they euthanised him.

The other two had been dumped by their owner in my neighbourhood and I'd been feeding them and offering them shelter in my shed but couldn't actually keep them myself. I was told by their previous owner when I tracked her down through their microchips that they'd been together since they were kittens. Along came the rspca, I told them one cat was a bit scratchy so she should be handled by their vet with gloves, the other was gorgeous, no problems whatsoever. They took them away, I called the following day to ask how they were and was told that the one had scratches the vet, so they'd euthanised her. A week later I was told that the other one had refused to eat since losing her 'sister' so they'd euthanized her too.

All of these were cross-breeds (moggies) so there's very little monetary gain to be had by the rspca, which is one of the main reasons they routinely euthanise.[/quote]
I have so many awful accounts of the RSPCA’s disgusting lack of care of animals. The most common of these are cruelty cases that they couldn’t be bothered to attend (the media were not there, so there was no money making publicity in it). I wouldn’t give them the dried skin from my foot!

Ffs OP can't win here can she? "Oh my goodness a cattery, FOR 10 WEEKS" if she had said she kept the cat at home it would be "well didn't you know the building work would distress the cat, why didn't you put it in a cattery"

Imagine if someone came on here and said their DH was pissing in random places all over the house? They'd be told to get rid and he should know better. Well the cat should bloody well know better, they're clean animals and shouldn't want to piss in their home. I've got two and they wouldn't dream of pissing in the house.

Absolute LOL at cat should know better and that yours do!

It’s got nothing to do with your cats “knowing better”. Some people get lucky with pets, some don’t. I’ve been “lucky” with mine re spraying etc, but have had other difficulties health wise with one (and now maybe his brother). Either way, don’t think yourself superior.

@peppermintpat

If not chipped, then drive her a long way away and drop of in a village.

If chipped, keep her outside at ALL times. Food and water in a shelter and let her get on with it.

I’ve done this once before on a thread where a poster was being absolutely vile re a situation with a dog.

I’ll do it again now and don’t care if I get a strike. You are a Grade A cunt.

I totally understand that pets aren’t for everyone. They have their reasons which will include not liking animals, not wanting the commitment, situations such as the OP has described - and that’s fine.

But I don’t get why they come onto these types of threads with their dislike of pets. It’s not adding anything of value at all.

Anyone advocating driving an animal to another location and dumping it is seriously not quite right. Doesn’t matter if you don’t like/want pets yourself - that mentality is sick.

OP - there’s been a lot of conflicting advice on here. I think the one thing that has stood out is to discuss again with your vet, stress how difficult this situation is with regards to your home life, and seriously explore the medication route re anxiety.

@Rangoon

The reason that cat was at the SPCA was because her previous owners couldnt put up with this either. I can't understand why people are giving you such a hard time. I hope they are all vegetarians at least even if they have meat eating cats. It sounds like you have tried almost everything. I wouldnt put up with this either.

What on earth has being vegetarian (or not) got to do with owning a cat?

@Furries

OP - there’s been a lot of conflicting advice on here. I think the one thing that has stood out is to discuss again with your vet, stress how difficult this situation is with regards to your home life, and seriously explore the medication route re anxiety.

I totally agree agree with your advice regarding discussing the problems with the vet.

If the OP then finds she still can't keep the cat indoors I would suggest talking to people such as Cats Protection League or Blue Cross, BE TRUTHFUL about the problems because they may be able to rehome this cat with someone who has the experience/ knowledge to be able to handle this issue.

@Furries

Absolute LOL? Christ how old are you?

As for 'thinking myself superior' quite the opposite actually, my other cat got ran over a couple of months ago and sadly died so I'm the complete opposite of a superior cat owner and still feeling absolutely dreadful about it.

Not an expert by any stretch but cats are intelligent and are taught from a very young age to toilet in the litter tray, so (just my opinion) they should know better.

OP getting a hard time isn't really fair as not many people (if they were honest) would put up with a house stinking to high heaven of cat piss.

Hi OP.

I rehomed one of my cats for exactly this reason.

Unfortunately she was in an accident, we still don't know what happened to her but the vet suspects someone actually did it to her ( ), which I'm the end involved lots of veterinary care, ops and eventually amputation. It was horrible.

We had her for years after that but she was never the same understandably and one of the main issues was she would wee absolutely everywhere, all over our carpets, sofas, clothes, bed, our children's things, babies cot ect. We too tried many of the things suggested on this thread and we really did put lots of time and money into trying to help her however she had been really damaged mentally by whatever this horrid person had done to her when she'd been outside (she refused to go out afterwards).

I couldn't give her to anywhere where it was possible she'd be PTS. She had a lot of issues so I knew it wouldn't be easy for her to be adopted but she was so unhappy and our family was so busy with multiple kids and so on, she just seemed on edge all of the time.

In the end I worked with a woman from a very small and local cat rescue who ended up falling so in love with her that she now lives with the lady I get regular updates and pictures and she seems to be improving so much (this lady lives alone and I really think the calm and quiet has helped). She is even now starting to go back outdoors.

I always thought I'd never re-home an animal. But I don't regret it for a second, she is so so much happier and I know that we tried but couldn't offer her what she needed any longer.

Are there any small, local places you can try which may be less likely to have their cats PTS?

Oh and she was very scared of men after her accident, we suspect it must have been a man who hurt her. So being in the house with my DH and 2 almost teen boys was suddenly very stressful for her too.

OMG you have my sympathies OP, cat pee is dreadful.
This is a horrible situation to be in and some of the comments on here are just bloody stupid.
What are you meant to do if your having disruptive building works done - kick it out and ask the neighbours to feed it???
My old boy was a peaer towards the end and it was really upsetting finding dd toys, baskets of clean clothes etc weed on but we'd had him since he was a kitten and at 15 we put up with it and made allowances especially when he was poorly
Our new one has recently started spraying but hopefully it's just a marking issue. We have tried:

• a Feliway optimum plug in
• squirting other cats that come into the garden with water
• cleaning with a mixture of white vinegar and bicarbonate of soda (does smell but not as look or as badly as cat pee) which discourages peeing in the same place.

and fingers crossed it seems to work with mine and something we learnt with our old guy was he was afraid to go outside because foxes which we discovered when we cut down a very large shrub. Just some ideas that might work?

Can't you have her put down? Sounds like she's distressed and would be putting her out of misery

If something in life is hard, just give up!
Not the lesson I'd like to be teaching my kids!

@Mommabear20

If something in life is hard, just give up! Not the lesson I'd like to be teaching my kids!

No. much better to teach them to be martyrs by trying for years, getting nowhere, and putting a cat before all the humans in your piss ridden stinking house. Great lesson.

Hi, I’m a vet and there are definitely subtle causes of anxiety that cause cats to do this sort of behaviour - very difficult for us as humans to understand them without trained help. Personally I would go to a Veterinary behaviourist who could home visit or at least look at a video of your house as without that knowledge it would be difficult to help. You sound like you’ve tried a lot of the generalised advice and need something more specific. Good luck! (Ps most GP vets would not have the specialised knowledge to help with a complicated case)

Try a local sanctuary, ask if any foster homes available. You will need to finance this as most strapped for cash. After she is settled hopefully your fur baby may find a forever home were she is free from stress. Thanks for doing your very best, it's awful but no one can say you haven't tried. Sending hugs

Absolutely ridiculous and aggressive comments on here. I hope the op has stopped reading. Sometimes an adoption doesn’t work inspite of throwing everything at the problem. It doesn’t mean the adopter is a flake or selfish or any of the above vitriol. Until it’s law to spay cats they will sadly be pts. There are not enough adoptees for feral cats and kittens. It’s a pervasive myth too that cars can be alone for long periods of time.

Oops that cats can be alone!

My ex and I took home two female cats who'd lived together for years from cats protection.

We had them 3 years until my ex said enough is enough. Like you, we tried everything however we had to replace 3 carpets, our expensive mattress and some underlay too because it had soaked through.

We spent money at vets, getting plug ins, different litter for the trays, different types of trays, they had cat flap, toys, tried different food/diets, bought them beds, nothing at all worked.

A friend knew of an elderly woman who wanted a cat, the elderly woman knew about the issues and they went to her. I felt like I'd let them down, cried a lot because I felt so bad but got regular updates, they didn't wee in her house, they were happy, content. We got pictures etc.

I have no idea why they took such a disliking to our house, we even moved around furniture.

Emotionally it's draining, physically it's draining, financially it's draining. The smell of cat spray/urine is so so strong it would make my eyes water. I tried scrubbing with all sorts.

Sometimes you have to admit defeat. Overall we were happier and so were the cats. They have since passed away due to old age and I'm glad the final years of their lives they were settled.

@Maddison12

Ffs OP can't win here can she? "Oh my goodness a cattery, FOR 10 WEEKS" if she had said she kept the cat at home it would be "well didn't you know the building work would distress the cat, why didn't you put it in a cattery"

Imagine if someone came on here and said their DH was pissing in random places all over the house? They'd be told to get rid and he should know better. Well the cat should bloody well know better, they're clean animals and shouldn't want to piss in their home. I've got two and they wouldn't dream of pissing in the house.

Cats aren't people though.

Cats usually like to be clean so it means something is not right.

It's not about knowing better as cats brains don't work like ours.

I doubt your cats are like:

Cat 1: ooh I really fancy peeing on the rug tee-hee
Cat 2: come on now, Cat 1. You know better than that!
Cat 1: ahh you're right Cat 2. Outside we go!

Also if my DH starting peeing all over the house I'd think something was wrong and not just kick him out!

I think some of the responses here are really nasty. The OP has persevered for two years and I can quite understand why she is at the end of her tether.

I wonder if a cat behaviourist could help, as a final try to sort this issue out. Or perhaps the "outdoor cat" solution would help.

I think there must be cat rescue centres that don't put cats to sleep if they can't be re-homed.