To insist the cat goes back to the RSPCA?

[Hellvelyn]

We got a rescue cat from the RSPCA just over two years ago. Much wanted by dd and seemed like a good idea. DS and DD are now 16 and 18 ( years 11 and 13)
Cat is sweet natured and friendly but OMFG she's caused havoc and cost us hundreds of pounds. She just won't reliably pee outside or in the litter tray. She's ruined two carpets. I've spent hours cleaning up after her and we've tried everything to persuade her to wee where she should (multiple vet investigations, different litter and litter trays, products to help her relax, products to deter inappropriate weeing, advice from RSPCA. You name it. We've tried it.) End of last year she was doing better. We then had a long planned downstairs extension. Cat was in a (lovely) local cattery for 10 weeks as we didn't want her upset by all the disruption and for the peeing to get worse. On her return she was so settled and found her spot in the sun in our new conservatory and was weeing reliably in her tray. Suddenly last week I saw her weeing up the wall of our lovely new extension and all over a laptop. Closer inspection and sniffing indicated this wasn't the first time. Today she weed up our bookcase onto precious photo albums. I've just had enough. She's damaged one thing too many now. We had a family talk tonight. DCs are upset at the thought of her going, DS in particular who said " but she's part of our family....." AIBU to just want her to return to the RSPCA? Will my kids ever forgive me? Aaaaagh!

@Furries

WTAF - killed a couple of kittens (and hens)? I mean, the rest of the list kind of becomes redundant when that’s casually thrown in. Were the kittens in your house when it happened? If not, I strongly suggest that you muzzle your dog outside of your home - and seek advice from a good behaviourist.

I did not mean to sound casual. Believe me it was heartbreaking for myself and the kids. Yes our cat had kittens last summer when the dog was approx 5 months old. The kittens were approx 5 weeks old and had moved from the utility to living in an outhouse we have which has big heavy sliding metal doors. I struggle to open and close them. The doors were left with a little space to allow the mother cat to slide in and out and we thought the house was dog proof and the kittens were safe. One morning we awoke to find that he had managed to get the door open wide enough to get in. I don't think he intended killing the kittens but unfortunately he roughed them up too much. We also have hens which roam freely during the day. Hens if they're panicked sit still and don't stand a chance. He had never bothered with them but unfortunately one day we discovered a body. He has been kept penned when the hens are out since and I got both the cats neutered to prevent anymore kittens. If you read my original post you'll see I mentioned training. I was desperate as this was causing a lot of stress and friction at home. and went to a highly recommended dog trainer - big mistake- worst money I ever spent. The dog seems to be mellowing so I'm hoping he's learning and calming down.

@Yaya26 - that’s heartbreaking. I would seriously research a good behaviourist rather than a trainer, it’s a very different ballgame. The behaviourist will work as much on you and your family members as they do on the dog. You will likely find out that there are a number of things you are doing “wrong” without even realising it (that’s not me putting the blame on you). You’ll likely find that each family member is (again, without realising it) giving the dog mixed signals with regards to the dogs everyday life. I was struggling with my giant breed youngster years ago, and spending a few sessions with a behaviourist was a game changer.

Hi @Hellvelyn long time cat foster here and worked at a cat protection rescue.

1. Your cat needs a thorough medical exam including blood and urine. Just because there was no medical reason when this started, doesn't mean one hasn't developed. Sometimes the peeing comes before we find the issue. Specifically diabetes and UTI's are a huge cause of the behaviour you describe. If caught early enough, food alone (diabetic food) can remedy these behaviour and get blood sugar levels steady.

1. Cleanliness - is her litter box cleaned daily and washed weekly with new litter. Do you have two litter boxes? Simple things like this can quickly stop behaviours if there's no medical reason.

1. Stress - change in routine, not enough attention, no quiet space. It makes a massive difference. Try cat nip on a special bed, toys, connection. Can make a bid difference.

Last cat we fostered had a history like yours and within 2 weeks we'd stopped all accidents. Three months later he's still without accidents.

Go have a frank conversation with your vet and make an action plan. Unless there's hard medical history, it should be possible to make changes that improve your cat's life!

p.s. Been through this with my palliative cat and can confirm, it's hard.

[quote Rocketearth]@Purplebunnie pets advertised on sites like Gumtree can end up as bait for fighting dogs etc, so it’s hugely irresponsible to use these sites to re-home pets.[/quote]
Rocketearth: Bloomin' heck how utterly despicable 😢

OP: hope your vet is able to help you out

we had a pissing cat. It was bad until we started to use a cage when she was in the house and a little section of the garage for her to sleep in if she preferred, needed to be kept warm for the night / cold weather. We ended up with her for years. I remember her fondly and have some satisfaction at keeping her even though she was hard work. I no longer have cats.

Have you tried stress issues? Feliway? Pet remedy? Or soil in the litter tray

@AlternativePerspective

I often wonder why these cats are up for rehoming in the first place. Possibly because it was incontinent already?

As for people saying the RSPCA are notorious for PTS, this is absolutely not true. But even if it was, is it really the worst thing to put a cat to sleep who will realistically never be rehomed or settled? To keep it locked up in a cage for the rest of its life?

this is never a popular view here, but often there are in fact worse fates than an animal being PTS.

“Would realistically never be rehomed or settled” - I’d adopt this one in a heartbeat.

We have 3 cats, one of them is a nightmare. She poos in clean washing, dirty washing, anything that happens to be lying on the floor which with teens is a nightmare. I would never get rid of her though. She is a very active cat and my gibby made a 'catio' for her attached to the conservatory and we have a cat wheel and we confine her to that unless we are in the living room and she can come and cuddle. Your best bet is to ensure she is not given total run of the house that she is controlled but also given plenty of attention.

@CuteOrangeElephant

We had to return a cat to the RSPCA. She would wee constantly in the house, destroyed countless items and carpets, attacked my other cat to the point he needed an operation. Every time my baby cried the cat got aggressive. We tried a lot things, lot of vet bills. My DH wanted to keep her but as he can't smell it was me who had to endure the stench. The cat couldn't go outside as she was completely blind, which the RSPCA somehow didn't inform us of when we adopted her. Not sure what happened to her and we will never find out. I hope she got a nice house somewhere without any other animals, because underneath it all she was lovely

She wasn't small and grey was she? Sounds like ours, also from the RSPCA! 😂

I think you are to be commended for putting the cat in a cattery for all those weeks during building works.

I'd give it a go at letting the cat be an outdoor cat with a water proof bed outside and treats and cat-nip, if he/she like it. Then lots of citrus spray all round inside. Perhaps it was a farm cat originally.

Good luck. You deserve it.

@Twofurrycatsagain

An ideal life lesson for your teens: when something is inconvenient get rid. YABVU.

This.

Cats like outdoors! Dump the litter tray and let her out. Cats like to go out at night too.. let her take her claws up a tree and wee over the grass and wherever she fancies outdoors!! Cats always come back in time for dinner.. very smart and independent if you let them. Honestly it’s like licking g up a monkey indoors otherwise. Now dogs on the other hand are like permanent toddlers 😍 and need looking after constantly. Count yourself lucky it’s just a kitty…

That cat would have been long gone sorry to people would put up with a piss stinking house because it’s what you should do.

If you’re guilted into keeping it by the kids and the commenters on here then tell the kids and commenters to come and clean up after it for the next 15 odd years.

If not chipped, then drive her a long way away and drop of in a village.

If chipped, keep her outside at ALL times. Food and water in a shelter and let her get on with it.

Get your dc to take responsibility for the cat ,they will then understand how hard this is for you.

Hi @Hellvelyn
I can sympathise with you!

I've just read your posts only so I don't know if it's been suggested that you Google Jackson Galaxy...he is the cat whisperer here in the US and had a series on telly called " My Cat From Hell"
He is able to rectify almost every issue related to cat ownership...maybe look on YouTube for some of his videos on shows that dealt with cats weeing in inappropriate places...he's a cat genius! I've attached a photo of his website as I don't know how to do links.
Hope this helps! You've been more than accommodating, but you've just not been able to hit on the right solution yet

Horrible person to want to regime. People like you make me sick:

I really do appreciate your predicament, whatever you do you can’t win. However, if you give your cat up it will probably be put to sleep as who will take and keep it with that problem. Your children are going to be upset if you get rid of the cat so I suggest resorting to moving everything of value or that you like to somewhere it can’t get to and living with it. I have had cats all my life so I’m not a cat hater or indifferent to cats, I love them.
Has it had the ‘op’ - sometimes that stops it? I wish you luck with what you decide xx

Has she been examined by other vets or just one/one practice? You need more than one opinion.
Either way, the saying ‘a dog’s for life, not just for Christmas’ applies to cats too.
Why don’t you keep precious photos out of reach?
You don’t seem to care for this poor cat. I wonder if there are other stresses in your life and she’s taking all the blame.
YABU

Oops, sorry. forgot the photo

I couldn't put up with that. Sounds like you've tried everything

Sorry Kitty but time to go. Cat pee is the worst

Me and my brother were given a puppy each, I doted on both of them, loved them, they were my world, then my parents realised they cost too much, they hadn't thought it through, and despite their promises of 'We'll make it up to you!' my heart was broken as they were given to a new family...
I cannot see cats and dogs as pets, they are a part of the family. Forgetting that it will really hurt your kids way more than losing a few pee'd on photos, that cat will be once again chucked out away from the family it has grown to love.

Find another way - for kittys sake as well as the kids. x

Have you tried feeding her Royal Canin Calm cat food ? One of my cats is a stress weeer ( beds 🤢) we had tried everything else previously with no luck - I'd given it a last six months before she went and it works. It's a bit pricey so I tried changing her diet once and three days later she was back at it. Def worth a try - feed her Calm nothing else 🤞

I have had multiple cats all different character and behaviours. My latest one pees anywhere but in the tray (does poo there though) but he has a nervous personality, has been tested for urine issues but found nothing untoward. He never wanted to go outdoors but when we had a catio built he loved it. He spends a lot of time out there and although pees on the kitchen floor sometimes is better. Never have I considered sending him back to the rescue. Apart from my kids not forgiving me I couldn't forgive myself. Possibly the 10 weeks back in a pen at the cattery has set him back to thinking he had been abandoned again? Try confining to just one or two rooms and have several litter trays of different types (open/closed etc) and see how it goes. As for precious items, nothing more precious than life and those things you think are valuable now become "stuff" when you need to clear them out. We've downsized and all the things I had to part with that I thought precious actually no one else (kids) wanted and we don't miss but we do love the cat.