AIBU for not telling husband to pick up both kids?

[ViceLikeBlip]

TL:DR husband offered to do school run this arvo. He forgot one of our kids. He is now (very angrily) claiming that this is all my fault for not telling him exactly how many kids to pick up. AIBU for thinking he should be able to remember how many fucking kids he has for himself?!

Details: I'm stuck home with 8yo isolating, so I needed someone to pick up the 10yo and the 5yo from school. I'd found someone for the 5yo, but I was struggling with the 10yo (all the Yr 5 parents I'm friendly with also have yr3 kids isolating). I didn't really want to ask the first mum to pick up both my kids, because yr5 finish 20 mins later than reception, and I felt bad asking her to hang around for an extra 20 mins in the baking sun.

So I asked my husband for our neighbour's number as they have a granddaughter in yr5.

The message I sent my husband went "do you have X's number? I'm looking for someone to pick up 10yo from school". He very unexpectedly replied "don't worry, I can leave work early". I replied "will you go straight to school?" just to check that he meant he was going to do the school run, and he said "yes, straight to school", so I texted my friend and said thanks very much but actually I didn't need her to get the 5yo after all. Husband then picked up 10yo, but completely forgot about 5yo.

Now, in my first msg I hadn't mentioned 5yo at all, because I wasn't actually asking my husband to do the school run. Should I have at this point messaged back "and don't forget the 5yo also exists"?!! Fwiw husband does the school run once a week every week, just not normally Tuesday, but the arrangements on the day he does normally do it are identical to Tuesdays (ie no one has any after school clubs or anything. 5yo never has any after school clubs)

Even those of you who would have forseen this exact situation happening, and who would have reminded him of the other child, do you actually believe its my FAULT for not reminding him?

I'd be really bloody annoyed if this happened to me and I got the blame into the bargain for "not asking".

Because someone else WAS going to get the 5yo until you cancelled them?

Exactly! 😂

I think sometimes everyone make assumptions, things go wrong, everyone blames each other because they've panicked. Hope your 5yo was okay after op, and hope all works out in your house and school

It’s just miscommunication and no one is wrong.

These things happen in the mayhem of family life. You both need to now laugh about it and move on.
PS I always have to be 100% clear with my hubby and never assume!

I can see how the confusion came about but seriously if this message came from your DH to you wouldn't you as the other parent ask what was happening with the 5 year old. I would.

Did your DH have to go back to school to pick your younger child up?

@Dobbyisahouseelf

I can see how the confusion came about but seriously if this message came from your DH to you wouldn't you as the other parent ask what was happening with the 5 year old. I would.

Did your DH have to go back to school to pick your younger child up?

If you read OPs posts it explains!

@Amandasummers

Actually I kind of want to edit my previous thoughts, because, I responded purely on the reasoning that you said “I’m struggling to get the 10 yo picked up” and he said he’d do it....however, I didn’t realise they were at the same school, and personally, yes, I and majority of people I know would probably use their brain cells and ask about the 5 year old especially as you’ve now said that they are never picked up by someone else nor on play dates etc. Unfortunately, my “d” p would come out with same argument as yours has and I would be fuming so Im jumping ship and am now in the YANBU camp.

Woohoo!!

Woohoo!?

I can so see dh will do the same hence I will always make it clear to him! Especially the risk of this type of event!

@Sadiecow

And to be honest your child is isolating and not ill, but you expect other people to pick up your children because it's too hot!

🙄

Well, technically I'm not sure he's even meant to come in the car (I saw something in the daily fail about a parent getting into trouble for doing just that as the child wasn't meant to leave the house at all). Probably I should try and get my other kids delivered home to my door every day. But I usually bring him in the car and then try and get someone else to just walk the kids round to my car, because I really hate imposing on people, and we don't live close to the school (and it's not a one off favour- there's always SOMEONE bloody isolating 🙄)

But I usually bring him in the car and then try and get someone else to just walk the kids round to my car, because I really hate imposing on people, and we don't live close to the school (and it's not a one off favour- there's always SOMEONE bloody isolating 🙄)
Why was today different?

I don’t understand why he wouldn’t text ‘what about Dave?’

Why does he think getting his own child (not children) is some kind of favour?!

But I usually bring him in the car

So, he isn't isolating at all then is he? Doesn't "isolating" meant, erm, "isolating"?

YANBU. He should have said "what about 5yo?".

YABU. Why didn’t you ask him if he could also collect 5 year old too so friend doesn’t have to? Your message does imply 5 year is sorted.

Well, technically I'm not sure he's even meant to come in the car (I saw something in the daily fail about a parent getting into trouble for doing just that as the child wasn't meant to leave the house at all). Probably I should try and get my other kids delivered home to my door every day. But I usually bring him in the car and then try and get someone else to just walk the kids round to my car, because I really hate imposing on people, and we don't live close to the school (and it's not a one off favour- there's always SOMEONE bloody isolating

You don't hate imposing enough to not want to sit it a hot car for 20 mins, do you?

As you say

This is never an ideal situation, but it's just too hot today to be sitting in the car (no shade) for 20 mins.

@GreyhoundG1rl

But I usually bring him in the car and then try and get someone else to just walk the kids round to my car, because I really hate imposing on people, and we don't live close to the school (and it's not a one off favour- there's always SOMEONE bloody isolating 🙄) Why was today different?

Because it was too hot

Because it was too hot
Seriously? Wasn't it the same temperature for everyone? 🤔

Your message was misleading so I can totally see why the 5 year old didn't get picked up.

If its any consolation, I asked my partner what he would do if I sent him a text asking him to pick our 10 year old up, he said he would message me back saying, have you forgotten we have a 7 year old too or is he sleeping at school for night 🤣

I'm with you OP. He should have at least thought to ask about the 5yo. Why is he shouting at you? Surely he doesn't think you should actually have pointed out you have two DC at that school?

What a plonker! Do they all go the same school?

He should have taken some responsibility for the mental stuff and asked if the 5 year old needed picking up to. He didn’t think to because it’s likely he never has to.

@Stormyequine

I'm with you OP. He should have at least thought to ask about the 5yo. Why is he shouting at you? Surely he doesn't think you should actually have pointed out you have two DC at that school?

She should have pointed out she cancelled the plans for the 5yo she had made, yes.

@LettyLoman

He should have taken some responsibility for the mental stuff and asked if the 5 year old needed picking up to. He didn’t think to because it’s likely he never has to.

1. OP said she only needed the 10 year old collected by someone that her DH had the number for.

1. He picks the children up once a week.

1. OP didn't want to go because it was too hot.

You don't like men, do you?