AIBU “being noisy “ whilst DH working from home

[mumof2exhausted]

Husband is working from home. He has been able to go back into office for a long time, lots of his colleagues have and he goes in now and again but he prefers to work from home as can sit outside , go for runs on his lunch break etc. All fine but kids now on summer holidays and we also have a baby. He’s getting really grumpy telling us all to be quiet all the time. Just had a massive row where I told him to go back to the office if he wants silence! I’m not being unreasonable am I??

Yanbu! He needs to go back to the office. Carry on as you are.

Nope, you are not. With DH, we make reasonable attempts to be quiet, but this is our home, not his office, so noise will be made. And that's without a baby in the mix.

If he wants silence, particularly in the school holidays, he goes to the office. You can't have your cake and eat it too.

YANBU, totally unacceptable to expect you to keep the kids quiet when he can go to the office. He has a choice you don't.

Nope

He can’t have it both ways. He either goes to the office and gets his precious silence, or he stays at home and accepts there is going to be noise.

Kids are not going to be silent just so he can work

You are definitely not unreasonable

Yanbu. I am working from home and don't have the option to go back to the office yet. I just have to realise the house won't be an quiet and peaceful as I'm used to for the next few weeks. You can't expect children to be silent all summer!

YANBU but I have to chuckle at all the responses saying he should go into the office if he wants silence - all the offices I've worked in have been at least as noisy as a group of kids normally would be.

He's a twit.
Tell him to fuck off for himself and go in to work.

DH is self employed and has always worked from home. The kids were trained from a young age about noise levels in the house.

I think your circumstances are different though and people are much more tolerant at the moment because working from home is considered normal.

Urg similar here! Husband office in the living room so have to keep the TV volume low. I did say he needs to go to office at least twice a week. Once son finishes school I might enforce that! I'm not forcing kids to be quiet when DH has the option to go to office

My DF did shift work, and we children were always expected to play silently while he slept during the day.

Does your DH want that for his DC?

Yanbu at all, my dp wfh for most of last year and we had a newborn, I told him I'm not going to sit in silence with a baby, and told him to put on his headphones. If he need to be extra quiet for something though I told him to let me know so I I can plan something quiet.

Thanks all! I obviously tell the boys off if arguing / fighting as I get that is horrible to listen to but it’s just when they are playing an exciting game and chasing each other and whooping etc. I’m not telling them off for having fun. I also just spoke to my dad on the phone as he called because he had an op today. Got the evil eye from husband as I was interrupting his work video call (I happened to be at at the same table giving baby his lunch). I suggested maybe the dining room table isn’t the best idea for a conference call ( he has an office upstairs). Glad I’m not being unreasonable we just had an almighty row. Just realised he’s gone for a nap - no wonder he prefers working from home!!!

Fuck that.

I’m so glad you’ve been assertive and reasonable!!

He needs to get off his CF arse and get back to his workplace.
His home is that. And if he chooses to work from his home when he is no longer obliged to, he makes the necessary adjustments, not his family.

He needs noise cancelling headphones or to shift his lazy arse back into the office.

mumof2--So he's sitting at your work table then?

So not only does he have the option to go to his work office, he also has an office upstairs that he can use, but instead he positions himself int he most inconvenient place, where the noise will be louder because it’s what he prefers.

And now to top it all off, he’s having a nap.

@PrincessNutella

mumof2--So he's sitting at your work table then?

Ha ha yes he is!! I am so using that line when this argument inevitably comes up again!

@Soubriquet

So not only does he have the option to go to his work office, he also has an office upstairs that he can use, but instead he positions himself int he most inconvenient place, where the noise will be louder because it’s what he prefers.

And now to top it all off, he’s having a nap.

Honestly the nap has sent me over the edge!!

I know I'll get called a drama llama but this is very close to emotionally abusive. He wants his environment exactly perfect while controlling the environment of you and the children. Everything is tailored to his needs, nothing to yours. He wants all the consideration and control.

Yanbu. My DH still can't go back to the office and it's absolute chaos here. He hasn't complained but I couldn't work with all the noise.

When do you get to go for your nap?

When do you get your down time?

I mean, he can’t be that busy if he can fuck off for a nap when he wants to.

My dh is still working from home when he could be in the office if he chose to be.
He has already been firmly told that when the kids finish next week I won't be pandering to him. He wants quite he can go to work!

It can't be that loud if he can nap through it!