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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To involve strangers in a meal train?

355 replies

ChockaChick · 20/07/2021 02:21

Just moved house and just had a baby…. We’ve briefly met the neighbours on either side and they seem perfectly pleasant. HV has suggested starting a meal train in the road. Yet I really don’t think I’d feel comfortable asking strangers to cook for us. Surely that’s something you organise amongst friends and family, not new neighbours you’ve not met yet? I’d think it a bit cheeky tbh if I got a demand for food from some unknown newbie. AIBU?

OP posts:
bruffin · 20/07/2021 07:09

@Lynnikins

Sorry if it seems unreasonable to ask, but what does "HV" stand for? I've worked through all possibilities but am still stumped.
Health Visitor
bruffin · 20/07/2021 07:10

There is an app called Mealtrain, wonder if they are trying to break into UK

Fizbosshoes · 20/07/2021 07:12

Like PP I've done this (both cooked and received meals) through church in the past. If someone has been unwell, bereaved or had a baby others (known to the recipient) would cook for them and deliver a meal each day. I thought it was a nice thing to do, although would not request meals if they hadnt been offered, especially from people I didnt know. We received lots of meals when my DS was born and I found it very helpful. My DM was unwell at the time and IL lived too far to offer practical help regularly so I couldnt ask family (they both helped when they could)

...but then again I don't think I'm typical of MN as I didnt worry about the hygeine standards in everyones kitchen and fear I would get food poisoning, neither do I think the only help you are allowed to accept is paid help!

AtomicBronde · 20/07/2021 07:13

I’d need to see some of my neighbour’s hygiene ratings before agreeing to this in any way, shape or form.

dottiedodah · 20/07/2021 07:13

Never heard of this before.Seems like a nice idea,but unless the neighbours have suggested it ,surely would come over a bit weird TBH?! I would just crack on with easy to prepare meals ,maybe the occasional take out?

Macncheeseballs · 20/07/2021 07:13

Has the hv had a baby? Does she know you can still make food?

Lockdownbear · 20/07/2021 07:14

HV= Health Visitor who visits new mums and babies. Looking out for PND and checking baby is developing OK.

Meal train never heard of it.

However it isn't that unusual for neighbours / friends in Scotland to do food or baking for someone who has become bereaved.

But that's a gift not something you ask for. I imagine Americans are the same it's a gift not something you ask for.

If some CFer was to move in an ask me to cook for them I'd think they were weird. Or be asking can your DH not cook if your too tired. Or think they were short of cash and need a food bank.

Lots of people are struggling to look after themselves, to fit in cooking for someone else not to mention the cost. It's not like days of old where mince was bought raw from the butcher. Most supermarkets sell family sized bung in the oven lasagna and cottage pie.

HV is off her head! Be a CF and ask her to be the first carriage of the meal train. Lol!

FreeBritnee · 20/07/2021 07:15

God yeah don’t do that. It’s the kind of thing I’ve seen people take the piss about online and you really don’t want to appear on the local residents Facebook group 😬

Spacehairdresserandthecowboy · 20/07/2021 07:19

Your HV is nuts and this would really put me off her. As you can see from the responses here, if you tried to organise this the most likely thing you’d do is make your neighbours think you’re an absolute CF.

LibrariesGiveUsPower45321 · 20/07/2021 07:19

I’ve been part of churches that organise meals for a week for new parents, and for bereaved, Ill members etc.

But it’s always someone in the church organising it for one of the church members as we see each other as church family.

Crazy to ask strangers to do it. If you’re struggling get some ready meals in.

Egghead68 · 20/07/2021 07:19

Ugh - wrong on so many levels.

If you’re unable to cook there’s toast/ready meals/take away.

I’d be very wary of that HV.

Bridezillamaybe · 20/07/2021 07:21

Oh this thread has made me laugh. The cringe factor is off the charts. We have new neighbours, we've stopped by to say hello and chatted a few times. The thought of them asking if we wanted to cook meals for them. 😂 It's like organising your own surprise party or collection money when you're leaving a job. By the way what is a HV?

Bridezillamaybe · 20/07/2021 07:21

Sorry I see HV has been explained. Even more nuts then.

Canigooutyet · 20/07/2021 07:23

Plus if you went and knocked on the door, if they are on here chances are they wouldn't answer the door anyway because they weren't expecting you.
The ones that do will be an assortment of people who are too nice for their own good, some will out right tell you to fuck off, and the rest better hope they don't wash their toilet brush in the dishwasher. [😀

HollyBollyBooBoo · 20/07/2021 07:23

Yet more evidence HVs are generally batshit.

Lulu1919 · 20/07/2021 07:25

I wouldnt like this

Different if organised by a group of friends or family you know well

I wouldn't want to eat a meal cooked by someone I didn't know in a kitchen that might not be clean etc ...but then maybe I'm odd !!!

Blippibloppi · 20/07/2021 07:25

There's no way I'd want to eat anything cooked by my neighbours, they're nice people but we're between the family with 7 pets and "the smokers".

I've had two babies and neither time did they impede my ability to order a Domino's.

User5827372728 · 20/07/2021 07:26

No, I didn’t even get involved in a good friends
Meal train. Weirdest thing I’ve heard of in a long time.

Also when I had 2 babies I don’t remember said friend brining around meals!! Entitled springs to mind

Bluntness100 · 20/07/2021 07:27

Why did she suggest this op? Are you really struggling?

Elys3 · 20/07/2021 07:27

They existed in the UK in the early 2000s as I cooked for some in my wider friendship circle and others cooked for me when I had a baby. It’s a nice thing but it is usually organized by someone who knows you. And the quality of the food ranged from gorgeous to just about edible!

ShippingNews · 20/07/2021 07:29

I'd never do it. That's what home delivered meals and ready meals are for.

NautaOcts · 20/07/2021 07:30

It’s a nice idea why don’t you do it the next time someone has a baby on the street? I really don’t think you can organise it with the first beneficiary being yourself.
I also thinks that in these times with good quality ready meals/easy cook meals available it’s not really necessary

BlackLambAndGreyFalcon · 20/07/2021 07:31

My church (in the UK) organises this for new parents - but we don't call it a meal train!

NautaOcts · 20/07/2021 07:32

We’ve done sometimes at church, I did it for quite a few people and to be honest it was a bit of a hassle and I didn’t get thanks from one person in particular who furnished us all with a long list of likes and dislikes and requirements. I was then a bit upset that when it came to me having my 3rd child, no one did it for me. Sounds silly and childish writing it now but it stung a bit at the time.

Iminaglasscaseofemotion · 20/07/2021 07:33

OP if you were a single mum with 5 kids about to give birth to octuplets, I would be happy to cook you some food. For 2 adults expecting their first baby....no.