To involve strangers in a meal train?

[ChockaChick]

Just moved house and just had a baby…. We’ve briefly met the neighbours on either side and they seem perfectly pleasant. HV has suggested starting a meal train in the road. Yet I really don’t think I’d feel comfortable asking strangers to cook for us. Surely that’s something you organise amongst friends and family, not new neighbours you’ve not met yet? I’d think it a bit cheeky tbh if I got a demand for food from some unknown newbie. AIBU?

@Yuckyfinger

A lot of you would hate the idea of our road whatsapp group!🤣 (No ones asked for meals, but people often ask, but more often offer, favours and advice) A neighbour offered me something they no longer had use for. I bought them a cook voucher when their new baby was born

We do all that but the Meal train thing is just weird

I can just imagine the thread from the other side
Cf new neighbour I’ve never met expecting free food!

If you like the idea of it you should ask family to set one up amongst themselves.

Oh. I was expecting it to be something like a progressive dinner as a way of getting to know neighbours.

Why not just call it a meal rota??

And yes weird, esp. for a new baby. Nice for someone ill or bereaved.

Has the HV met your dp and found him incompetent? And as for a 'mealtrain', is there no end of tasks for women to feel they should do? So unless you are bedridden and your dp is a complete arse/mcp she needs educating

In my church we would bring food when someone has a new baby, or is sick etc.
But we all know each other.

Never heard of a meal train (UK) and you are definitely not BU!
How awkward would that be, asking people you've barely met before to make you your dinners as you've just had a baby?!
Plus if somebody asked me to be part of a chain of dinner makers because someone had just had a baby I'd be a bit [confused} and definitely think it weird!

Sorry, just read it's more of an American thing - that'll be why I've never heard of it lol.
Now got mental image of a steady troop of Bree Van De Kamps with their perfectly presented basket of blueberry muffins, and Susan Meyers with their dishes of infamous inedible mac and cheese

You say "we've moved house", so I assume there's a DH/DP in the picture. Why the fuck is your HV not suggesting that he cook for you?

Having a baby doesn't make someone in need of a meal train unless there are other circumstances. And it's something people should volunteer / organise to do of their own volition, not something you request.

@Anonymous48

I live in the US and I am familiar with the concept of meal trains (although separate of any church). My group of friends have organized them on occasion when someone has been ill or bereaved or some other type of life event that means that it would make life easier for them if they didn't have to think about preparing or ordering dinner every night. There are free websites where the organizer (usually someone who is a very good friend of the recipient) can specify which days meals will be needed and give information like dietary requirements for the family and what timeframe to deliver the meal. People can then sign up for a specific day. I think it's a lovely idea. I was the recipient at one point and it made life much easier during some difficult days. More than that, though, knowing that you have people who care about you and want to help is such a lovely feeling. Similarly, being able to provide meals as part of a meal train for friends who are going through difficult times is a wonderful way to be able to provide practical support to them, when often it's hard to find a way to do that.

I have never come across a meal train where strangers would be asked to contribute. I don't know how I would feel if I was asked. I just don't think it would happen.

And you absolutely never organize one for yourself! If anything, maybe tell a close friend you're struggling and ask if they might be willing to organize one for you.

A couple more points.

I have never heard of a meal train for someone who has given birth. That might be because everyone in my circle has older or grown kids, but the idea still seems strange as long as mother and baby are both healthy, and the father is in the picture. In my experience meal trains are for people who have a serious illness, are recovering from surgery, or have lost a child.

Meals will usually be delivered in disposable containers, so that the recipient doesn't have to go to the trouble of cleaning and returning dishes.

Receiving meals shouldn't be a chore for the recipient. There is no expectation that the person delivering the meal will be invited in. They will just hand off the meal at the door, or even just leave it on the doorstep (particularly during the pandemic).

As for why it's called a meal train? I picture it like a train going (very) slowly past your house, with a different carriage stopping at your door each night.

someone who took Meal Train too far

@bruffin

someone who took Meal Train too far

That's not meal train. That's a meal rail replacement service😂 Tries to pretend it's the same, but in reality it's shit and nowhere near the original idea😂

@TheGenealogist

Pre-pandemic, there was a Scottish charity I was getting involved in which did a similar thing.

www.mealmakers.org.uk/

The idea is that you are paired with a local elderly person and agree that you prepare an extra portion of a family meal once a week to drop off to them. It's as much about the social contact for the elderly person as it is about the food.

Different from the meal train thing as it's expected to be an ongoing commitment from the cook, and no specific requests, just an extra portion of whatever you've made anyway.

Now that the pandemic is easing i'll have to look at joining them again.

@TheGenealogist I think this is a great scheme. I saw it advertised, but hesitated to commit to cook regularly. But it did prompt me to offer to help a neighbour occasionally, which she appreciated and I enjoyed as we just agreed it would be an ad hoc arrangement. And yes, the focus was definitely the companionship as much as the food

I've been involved in a meal train in the case of serious illness in the family. It worked well and we were all pleased to help.
In a situation where you have a partner I cannot see any situation where a two whole adults would be so busy looking after a minute little baby that they couldn't provide themselves with food. Amazing.

I have never heard of a meal train for someone who has given birth. That might be because everyone in my circle has older or grown kids, but the idea still seems strange as long as mother and baby are both healthy, and the father is in the picture. In my experience meal trains are for people who have a serious illness, are recovering from surgery, or have lost a child.

The vast (80%) of meal trains, though we don't call them that, from my church are for new parents. We do them for the other things you said too.

It is not normal for your health visitor to suggest that your neighbours whom you don't even know yet cook meals for you.
It's so ridiculous that I'd suggest you must have misunderstood. Maybe she was just musing and you took it as a serious suggestion?

@JoborPlay

I have never heard of a meal train for someone who has given birth. That might be because everyone in my circle has older or grown kids, but the idea still seems strange as long as mother and baby are both healthy, and the father is in the picture. In my experience meal trains are for people who have a serious illness, are recovering from surgery, or have lost a child.

The vast (80%) of meal trains, though we don't call them that, from my church are for new parents. We do them for the other things you said too.

The only meal trains I have participated in have been among my friendship groups as I'm not a member of a church.

I cannot roll my eyes hard enough at all the women coming on here going "well I birthed sextuplets, lost 8 pints of blood and had my arm chopped off and still got straight off the operating table to cook a Cordon Bleu meal for 30 people."

Ever stop to think not everyone feels the same when having just given birth? And not everyone's babies are the same? And that hearing about your performative heroism isn't helpful. Or necessary.

I've heard of meal trains - yes, even in the Uk - and think it's a lovely, community thing especially now we live in a world where most people are not living near their family.

But agree it's better when organised by someone on your behalf.

Won't catch on round these parts.
We're very British.
Hell's teeth, we don't even say hello to anyone unless we've been formally introduced!

I think its fine and perfectly normal if someone is very elderly and needs support, has a major event such as a partner in intensive care or someone is recovering alone from major surgery.

I can't begin to imagine why someone who has a baby would need it.

I took part in a meal train (and yes it was called that) for a friend whose husband died suddenly. It was useful because the format meant you could volunteer for different days.
However, this was for a specific event and person, who had a wide group of friends who wanted to help out but didn't all know each other!

@Pallisers

No you shouldn't do this. And your HV is a bit odd.

But I have done this living in the US - didn't call it a meal train but when families in our community - be that community, church, school, daycare, neighbours - are under stress, yes we cook and give meals to them. it is a real tradition here. It isn't a weird american thing - it is a very nice amerian thing.

It's also common In UK and always has been. But those who cook for neighbours in need, bring meals and offer practical help do so independently and completely voluntarily, without being asked or joining a website timetable etc.

@FightingtheFoo

I cannot roll my eyes hard enough at all the women coming on here going "well I birthed sextuplets, lost 8 pints of blood and had my arm chopped off and still got straight off the operating table to cook a Cordon Bleu meal for 30 people."

Ever stop to think not everyone feels the same when having just given birth? And not everyone's babies are the same? And that hearing about your performative heroism isn't helpful. Or necessary.

I've heard of meal trains - yes, even in the Uk - and think it's a lovely, community thing especially now we live in a world where most people are not living near their family.

But agree it's better when organised by someone on your behalf.

It does sound a lovely thing if it's offered. But surely it has to actually be offered in the first place? I'm not sure from op's post whether the hv was offering to doorknock on op's behalf or suggesting op did it herself; but either would be weird in my view.

I think it’s strange but if a neighbour had a baby and asked me to cook them some meals I’d be more than happy to do it, even if I didn’t know them.

If you can’t be bothered cooking order a takeaway or get some micro meals.

Anyone remember this pair of CFs?

nypost.com/?_gl=11bk3h3j_ga*YW1wLVU1dDM3QVdiTExxeVdkdmlUMVMtZ0xrNnVkZXhQdWptYzc3MEdnTlRhRFpxQ0JJMjRqU1NOdngyZjFvby0tRl8.

Sorry! The last link was wrong!

www.google.co.uk/amp/s/nypost.com/2019/04/19/couple-expecting-first-baby-wants-free-meals-therapy-from-neighbors/amp/