To not pick up the peas?

[inpixiehollow]

We were invited out yesterday for sunday lunch with my MIL and her 94 year old mother. We went to a local pub, me and my partner, MIL, partners grandma and our 11 month old daughter.
I hadn't been to the pub before but wasn't impressed with it, the food wasn't great and the pub needed a good clean everywhere but we made the best of it wanting to be polite. We all had a carvery and I shared some of mine onto my daughters plate including peas. When we were done there was some mess left under the highchair (honestly not much at all, some very small bits of meat and peas) MIL's mum remarked that our daughter had made such a mess. I replied that it would only take a few minutes for them to sweep/hoover it up but she seemed horrified I wasn't going to get on my hands and knees on a pretty dirty carpet, in 29 degree heat and diligently pick up each scrap of food. I should add that the pub was almost empty too so no reason why the staff wouldn't have time to quickly tidy up. Having worked in hospitality I wouldn't have expected parents to bother about this small amount of food on the floor? I wiped down the highchair and the table where she had left gravy/mashed potato but left the, at the most 10 peas on the floor.. WIBU?

@MarianneUnfaithful

I wasn't going to get on my hands and knees on a pretty dirty carpet, in 29 degree heat and diligently pick up each scrap of food

Quite right. That’s what Dads are for.

Any expectation that their son / grandson might be clearing up after the baby?

No and thats a good point too which I hadn't considered I am capable of bending down but I am pregnant with a belly too so it isn't the easiest as I feel like a whale lumbering about at the best of times.

We always cleaned up after our kids. I’ve asked for a cloth and a dust pan and brush if it was really bad.

I can see both sides here, but waiting staff are usually under paid and over worked so I would have grabbed a napkin and picked up any food that was obvious on the floor.

Would have taken 2 minutes to do that.

Who picks up for you at home? Absolutely mannerless behaviour and I bet you didn't leave a tip. Bad.

People like you OP are truly amongst the list of what’s wrong in this world. Lazy, foul, entitled, selfish, self obsessed and ignorant. I was in a Zizzi recently where a family (also with kids screaming and throwing tantrums throughout) left food mess under high chair like you describe as well as a table full of their own litter/ packaging. It took 2 staff 5 minutes to clean and they were really upset. Of course they left zero top either. When restaurant staff are rushed off their feet and underpaid as it is to then become a cleaner is just such an added insult. They were so angry and upset by it.

If being pregnant was an issue (which totally get) I don't know why you didn't ask your partner to just quickly clean it up...it's his child/responsibility too ?

To be fair, there were a couple of cases where I didn't pick up the mess that the children created - usually to avoid a meltdown or similar - but usually left a ~25% tip in those cases.

I am the one who usually sits next to DD's high chair and I would lean over and pick up any obvious bits of food I see on the floor with a napkin.
I have never gone looking for dropped food on the floor though or asked for a dustpan. I don't ever remember seeing anyone do that either.

People like you OP are truly amongst the list of what’s wrong in this world. Lazy, foul, entitled, selfish, self obsessed and ignorant.

Well that's a bit OTT! Pretty sure there are bigger assholes in this world to worry about then a pregnant mum not picking up a few peas off a grubby pub floor.

Being pregnant is no excuse because if the OP agreed that leaving meat and peas on the floor for the waiting staff to clean up is filthy behaviour, she would've asked her DP to sort it.

Instead she chose to mention the cleanliness of the pub wasn't up to her standard and nor was the food - like that excuses them.

It doesn't.

I wasn't going to get on my hands and knees on a pretty dirty carpet, in 29 degree heat and diligently pick up each scrap of food.

But you expect staff to? It would have taken seconds to bend over and pick up any food dropped. It doesn’t need crawling about on hands and knees. Unacceptable not to do it, especially if you are going to turn your nose up at somewhere for not being clean enough for you in the first place.

I am capable of bending down but I am pregnant with a belly too so it isn't the easiest as I feel like a whale lumbering about at the best of times.

I think this is very relevant and should have been mentioned in your op. I couldn't have bent down at the end of my pregnancy either without significant pain. But I would have either apologised to the staff and explained that I would have picked them up but I'd struggle to do so (I'm sure they wouldn't have minded in your condition), or asked a member of my party to pick them up. Why didn't your partner or MIL do it for you, given your condition? My OH would have done it without having to be asked, especially when I was pregnant.

@DollyParton2

People like you OP are truly amongst the list of what’s wrong in this world. Lazy, foul, entitled, selfish, self obsessed and ignorant. I was in a Zizzi recently where a family (also with kids screaming and throwing tantrums throughout) left food mess under high chair like you describe as well as a table full of their own litter/ packaging. It took 2 staff 5 minutes to clean and they were really upset. Of course they left zero top either. When restaurant staff are rushed off their feet and underpaid as it is to then become a cleaner is just such an added insult. They were so angry and upset by it.

And I was accused of hyperbole on this thread?

Well, of course not, if you're pregnant.

Like many people, I would have checked if they had a dustpan and brush or asked DP to do so. Although in all honesty, I would have been quite surprised if they made me use it, and would have tipped accordingly.

I always mention it to the staff when getting the bill and they always say they'll sort it. They will have cleaning equipment/dustpans whereas customers obviously won't, I don't think it really makes sense for customers to be on their hands and knees cleaning manually.

I wouldn't leave a load of stuff I'd brought with me myself as people have said up thread, but I think it's normal to leave food mess under the high chair.

I am dismayed that someone would take the attitude that it is not their responsibility to pick up things that they - or their children - dropped on a floor. If there is a reason it can't be done ask the staff for help.

Don't be a slob.

@aSofaNearYou

I always mention it to the staff when getting the bill and they always say they'll sort it. They will have cleaning equipment/dustpans whereas customers obviously won't, I don't think it really makes sense for customers to be on their hands and knees cleaning manually.

I wouldn't leave a load of stuff I'd brought with me myself as people have said up thread, but I think it's normal to leave food mess under the high chair.

It's not "cleaning manually" it's the common courtesy of picking up after yourself.

I always mention it to the staff when getting the bill and they always say they'll sort it. They will have cleaning equipment/dustpans whereas customers obviously won't, I don't think it really makes sense for customers to be on their hands and knees cleaning manually

Think of it like leaving skid marks on the loo. If you’ve been brought up properly and know to clean up after yourself or your young child then you would use the toilet brush to clean or you’d get a wad of loo roll and wipe it (if it wasn’t under the water obviously). Same with if you or your young child left wee on the rim or on the floor. You wouldn’t bring toilet cleaning products to the restaurant but you’d certainly clean up after yourself.

I hope. Please let no-one be so skanky as to say they wouldn’t 🤮

It's not "cleaning manually" it's the common courtesy of picking up after yourself.

I mean the staff will have sprays and cloths etc, whereas a customer will only have their hands so will only be capable of doing a surface level job.

All I know is I have always felt bad about leaving mess so I have always asked and not once has a member of staff actually got me to do it rather than brushing off the suggestion as if it were ridiculous, so I've definitely always got the impression that it's the done thing for staff to clean the floor as well as the table.

“ .... but I think it's normal to leave food mess under the high chair.”

It bloody well is not. It’s thoughtless, slobby and lazy. No wonder parents with young kids have such a terrible reputation for making an absolute pigsty of places they visit if this is the attitude parents have (note, I have two kids under 4 and would never leave a public place muckier than I found it).

The mess some parents leave in restaurants is disgusting.

I wouldn't get on my hands and knees and pick up every single crumb, kids are messy eaters, but whole bits of food I would pick up or ask for a dust pan. It's just the decent thing to do.

@aSofaNearYou

I always mention it to the staff when getting the bill and they always say they'll sort it. They will have cleaning equipment/dustpans whereas customers obviously won't, I don't think it really makes sense for customers to be on their hands and knees cleaning manually.

I wouldn't leave a load of stuff I'd brought with me myself as people have said up thread, but I think it's normal to leave food mess under the high chair.

I don't think it really makes sense for customers to be on their hands and knees cleaning manually.

Again, most human beings bend in the middle and do not need to get down on their hands and knees to pick up some meat and peas.

but I think it's normal to leave food mess under the high chair.

It absolutely isn't. It's selfish and disgusting behaviour.

Again, most human beings bend in the middle and do not need to get down on their hands and knees to pick up some meat and peas.

I mean, I feel like you are focusing on the wrong part there. My point obviously wasn't primarily about bending, it was about them having the proper stuff to clean with. Picking up the big chunks but leaving the less noticeable residue surely just makes it likely they won't notice it could do with a proper once over before the next customer?

But either way, I have simply never experienced a member of staff not respond as though sweeping under high chairs was just a normal part of their job.

My point obviously wasn't primarily about bending, it was about them having the proper stuff to clean with*

See my earlier post about the toilet. Think of it that was and stop trying to make it more than it is.

You should have offered to clean it up and asked the staff for a dustpan and brush. Or at least made the staff aware and definitely apologize! Disgusting leaving your mess behind. That's just a dirty thing to do to make a mess and leave without saying anything. I'm really shocked you think that's okay!