Dog bit me, DH saying it is my own fault

[Toastedsesame]

Playing in the garden with DS age 3 and DH. We were playing water balloons / water fight. I grabbed hose without thinking and started spraying DH, then my DS had s go, by this point our (usually well behaved) dog was getting wound up and leaping at the hose. I saw her leap close to DS with jaws open so I grabbed hose from him to turn it off and the dog leapt at me and bit my hand. It felt like my whole hand went in her mouth and she bit down hard on one of my fingers. I was annoyed and shouted that I was pissed off with the dog and that I've had enough of her (just a few things lately, like eating cat poo and puking it inside, barking at nothing in the night and waking us all up) I'm 25 weeks pregnant so a bit moody and sensitive. ALSO it could have been DS's hand so I was in shock.

DH is now in a mood, saying I know what happens when the hose is sprayed and than it is my fault for being silly - I accept that, it is. But since he hasn't been over to check I'm actually ok or said anything to me, just taken DS inside to watch a film.

Yes the dog has form for being excitable and I should have known but wtf why is he being such a dick about this?

I'd be annoyed with you too. Can't stand people winding dogs up and then expecting sympathy when it ends in tears. They're animals, they should be treated accordingly.

It's an exercise in futility to get a dog and be upset when it behaves like a dog. I think too many people forget it is not a robotic toy that is nothing but sweetness and light - it is a living creature with behavioural traits that are instinctive to it. It is also an invidividual and will have likes and dislikes all of its own.

On the surface your DH could probably have been more sympathetic but then maybe " a bit moody and sensitive" was actually more than a bit and more like an angry outburst at the dog. The UR or NUR test would depend on that, I think.

You shouted a not nice thing about getting rid of the dog, because your behaviour caused and issue.

Your DH may be a little upset also, I'm not sure he needs to be apologising or chasing you.

@Ontheblink

Whiskycav it’s not going to remain a newborn forever though will it? Ffs

Then how does the dog attack a newborn? When the hosepipe is the trigger

And the dog, didn't actually attach the op. The dig was going for the hosepipe. Which she had been letting it do.

Not sure op is going g to let a dog have game of 'bitr the newborn'

And ffs is exactly what I though when the you said the dog will escalate to killing her newborn..
This dogs behaviour wasn't aggressive it was a behaviour that it's owners were ok with. Unti

The dog just wanted to play and tried to grab the hose pipe. It wasn’t going for the op, it didn’t even bite her, she’s no broken skin.

It's not your fault OP. I do rescue and have had dozens of dogs. It is always unnerving when this happens, and it is cause for concern. I too have had the shock of a dog bite from dogs I thought I knew well - I have since learned to read their body language to avoid this. Whale-eye (lots of white showing), hair standing up, stiff body, are all signs not to engage, even if the tail is wagging.

I tell people a growl is actually a courtesy, and a message to stop doing what you're doing, before you get bit.

You need to have the dog behavior and temperament tested, since you have little ones. A good family dog will allow items to be removed without biting. Hopefully you can correct the behavior. Tell your husband to stop being mean, that's really traumatic. Take care OP.

I tell people a growl is actually a courtesy, and a message to stop doing what you're doing, before you get bit.

100% agree with this. Too many owners tell their dogs off for growling and then wonder why they escalate straight to a bite in the future.

How old is the dog?
I'm also thinking you don't like the dog much and now you have baby No 2 on the way are wondering how you'll manage two kids and a dog.

It's not your fault OP. I do rescue and have had dozens of dogs. It is always unnerving when this happens, and it is cause for concern. I too have had the shock of a dog bite from dogs I thought I knew well - I have since learned to read their body language to avoid this. Whale-eye (lots of white showing), hair standing up, stiff body, are all signs not to engage, even if the tail is wagging

The dog didn't attack her.

The dog was biting at the hosepipe which is usual behaviour for the dog. She grabbed the hose and the dogs carried on as it was over excited.

Again which op knew would happen before AND she recognised the dogs body language.

It was an attack. The dog didn't bite down. Op was engaging the dog in behaviour she knows results in the dog displaying this behaviour

I'm not sure why this is all your fault when your DH was also part of the water fight? Ok you picked up the hose but was he asking you to turn it off because of the dog?

So, you wound up the dog and shouted at your husband. Now you’re annoyed that he was a bit and you’re making a huge drama about a bruised finger....

@SourAppleChew yup. Spot on!

Th W problem is that your IABU isnt clear.

If it’s about your DH, yes I agree YANBU.
Yes you started to play with the hose. But then SO DID HE!
Not checking on how you are doing after being bitten is not on.
I also suspect he isn’t the one to:deal with the dog who is getting sick in the house etc… either. Maybe propose that he is looking after the dog in his for a while and see what he thinks….

@rubbletrouble

You shouted a not nice thing about getting rid of the dog, because your behaviour caused and issue.

Your DH may be a little upset also, I'm not sure he needs to be apologising or chasing you.

I think the OP said to get rid of the dog because it caused her a lot more work that SHE had to cope with whereas her DH didn’t get involved at all.

I suspect the issue is that the OP is fed up with her DH for not pulling his weight and this is the way it came out.
I also suspect the DH knows… hence he is avoiding her.

@Ciaobaby92

It's not your fault OP. I do rescue and have had dozens of dogs. It is always unnerving when this happens, and it is cause for concern. I too have had the shock of a dog bite from dogs I thought I knew well - I have since learned to read their body language to avoid this. Whale-eye (lots of white showing), hair standing up, stiff body, are all signs not to engage, even if the tail is wagging.

I tell people a growl is actually a courtesy, and a message to stop doing what you're doing, before you get bit.

You need to have the dog behavior and temperament tested, since you have little ones. A good family dog will allow items to be removed without biting. Hopefully you can correct the behavior. Tell your husband to stop being mean, that's really traumatic. Take care OP.

I'm guessing this is either a) not true or b) you didn't actually read the OP's posts properly.

If you really do work with rescues, it's bloody worrying that you can't tell the difference between aggression/fear biting and an accidental bite though play.

Clymene you weren't there to see the dog's behavior or body language, it sounds to me like the dog got very wound up and bit out of aggression- fear, resource guarding or just plain "playing" as you seem to believe, which sounds like a bunch of horse hooey to me.

The dog sounds sharp natured and absolutely needs to be evaluated and trained accordingly. Personally, I would not have a dog who bites, hard and inappropriately with little ones around. Who will most certainly be pulling things out of the dogs mouth, tail tugging, screaching, ear pulling, etc. This may not be the kind of dog who can handle that kind of interaction.

There are a lot of dogs out there who simply do not respond that way because they are easier natured. And will let kids or anyone else do what they want, without biting!

This could be corrected behavior, hard to say from just one post. But OP should not be beating up on herself from protecting her toddler from an over-excited dog. It needs training along with OP and her family to put a quick stop to this.

@Ciaobaby92

Clymene you weren't there to see the dog's behavior or body language, it sounds to me like the dog got very wound up and bit out of aggression- fear, resource guarding or just plain "playing" as you seem to believe, which sounds like a bunch of horse hooey to me.

The dog sounds sharp natured and absolutely needs to be evaluated and trained accordingly. Personally, I would not have a dog who bites, hard and inappropriately with little ones around. Who will most certainly be pulling things out of the dogs mouth, tail tugging, screaching, ear pulling, etc. This may not be the kind of dog who can handle that kind of interaction.

There are a lot of dogs out there who simply do not respond that way because they are easier natured. And will let kids or anyone else do what they want, without biting!

This could be corrected behavior, hard to say from just one post. But OP should not be beating up on herself from protecting her toddler from an over-excited dog. It needs training along with OP and her family to put a quick stop to this.

Op wasn't attacked.

The move wasn't an aggressive move.

This behaviour was known to the op. The owner of the described the dogs body language as getting over excited.

You weren't there to see the dog either.

And you aren't the only person who 'works in a rescue'. And your advice that ots not ops fault, it's completely incorrect.

Op was fully aware that this would happen. Op had to protect the toddler, because she caused the behaviour in the first place. The dog was playing a game it has played before.

What evidence is that the dog is 'sharp natured'?

And Jesus wept, you work in a rescue and think a dog should be able to tolerate a toddler pulling at its tail?

Is this a lockdown puppy and now the shine has gone for you OP

It was your fault. You wound the dog up

Whiskycav you intentionally miss the point. No dog who is going to be around multiple toddlers, should be biting hard enough during "play" to break the skin and you are insane to believe otherwise. The behavior needs to be addressed and corrected. I have a dog who falls into a complete state of joy having little kids play on him. He's never ever even come close to biting.. There are a lot of dogs like that.

As far as different temperament terms for dogs, and what they mean, maybe you should do a little reading and educate yourself before trying to declare yourself as some kind of expert. But you don't even recognize common temperament terms LOL

I don't blame DH and I would react the same. Especially if you're aware the dog is excitable about the hose (and you've never reprimanded her before).

You created the problem then blamed the dog for it. I wouldn't be in the least bit sympathetic. Yes it could have been the child but you should have gauged that beforehand.

After 15 years as working as both a volunteer and as adoption supervisor, the two main factors that lead to serious behavior issues, and/or surrender to the shelter are as follows:

1. The person or family did not pick the right dog for their situation or lifestyle. A sedentary person should choose a sedentary dog or vice versa. A family with small children should definitely research the best breeds for kids and ask to see temperament test results before adopting.

1. When someone does reach out with a serious problem, in this case a dog bite that broke skin, they are sometimes responded to by so called experts who, instead of offering helpful advice and direction, instead make snide, unhelpful comments and shame people who really need help with their doggy issues.

I have found that having a non-judgmental, informative and forward thinking approach can be very helpful in improving the owner's relationship with their pet, thus resulting in happier animals and happier owners.

I can’t believe posters on here blaming you for winding up the dog. If it’s that easy to wind it up, it is not a family friendly dog and you should consider getting rid of it. If it gets so wound up by a hose pipe that it bites, how is it going to cope when your DC get old enough to start having friends over?? Get rid OP, it’s not safe!

YANBU. Your husband is being a bit of an asshole and id be very wary of the dog around small children and a tiny baby. I love dogs and mine is a part of the family but I wouldn't have a dog that was prone to biting when it got over excited around my children. Hope your hand is OK

@Holly60, this is AIBU, no matter what you ask you're always told you're being unreasonable a lot of mumsnetters get a real kick out of it