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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Dog bit me, DH saying it is my own fault

191 replies

Toastedsesame · 18/07/2021 16:15

Playing in the garden with DS age 3 and DH. We were playing water balloons / water fight. I grabbed hose without thinking and started spraying DH, then my DS had s go, by this point our (usually well behaved) dog was getting wound up and leaping at the hose. I saw her leap close to DS with jaws open so I grabbed hose from him to turn it off and the dog leapt at me and bit my hand. It felt like my whole hand went in her mouth and she bit down hard on one of my fingers. I was annoyed and shouted that I was pissed off with the dog and that I've had enough of her (just a few things lately, like eating cat poo and puking it inside, barking at nothing in the night and waking us all up) I'm 25 weeks pregnant so a bit moody and sensitive. ALSO it could have been DS's hand so I was in shock.

DH is now in a mood, saying I know what happens when the hose is sprayed and than it is my fault for being silly - I accept that, it is. But since he hasn't been over to check I'm actually ok or said anything to me, just taken DS inside to watch a film.

Yes the dog has form for being excitable and I should have known but wtf why is he being such a dick about this?

OP posts:
Kanaloa · 18/07/2021 17:51

Well you said the dog was already leaping around overexcited, yet you only grabbed the hose when the dog went to snap. In situations like these prevention is the key, as soon as the dog started to get overexcited the hose should have been off and the situation calmed, then it wouldn’t have happened.

This could also be done with the cat poo if it’s a regular occurrence, more supervision on walks/checking the garden regularly to ensure the dog doesn’t eat cat poo rather than getting annoyed about it.

This is why we don’t have a dog at the moment though. I love dogs and we had a lot of joy from ours but after she passed away I couldn’t be bothered with that level of sheer work that goes in to making a dog a pleasant family pet. They’re very very hard work and you need to be ready to meet that.

Aloethere · 18/07/2021 17:51

I don't know , I think I am with your dh on this one. If dh does something stupid that results in him being hurt I don't baby him. Not only did you do something stupid that resulted in you being hurt you then went off on one about the dog even though it was your fault not the dogs.

You sulking now because your dh isn't 'checking on you' is probably because you feel guilty because you did something that could have resulted in your ds being hurt. You are trying to deflect that onto your dh.

Lou98 · 18/07/2021 18:00

@Toastedsesame

I totally accepting of this being my fault. I forgot dog was out with us. I'm more 🤔 about my DH's weird behaviour

To be fair, I don't think you're husband is acting overly weird from what you've said. From your OP It sounds as though you knew the dog gets over excited with the hose. So do ours, my DP will often play with them with the house (they enjoy it but they do try catch it with their mouths), as they enjoy it, he can do what he likes but knowing that they get excited with it, if he had DS out there I would not be happy if he had the hose on knowing the dogs get excited and could potentially put our son in a position to be hurt.
You said in one of your replies that you didn't realise the dog was out there but in your OP have said the dog had been getting excited already.

In this situation, I'd say your husband is in the right. He could have checked you were okay but I don't think he's wrong for not agreeing with you or for telling you that it was your fault

Lou98 · 18/07/2021 18:02

@summersflowers

I’ll buck the trend. I wouldn’t be happy.

I think your average family pet should be able to withstand a water fight or a hose being on without biting someone.

From the sounds of it, it sounds as if the dog was trying to bite the water from the house - not the person, he just caught her by mistake

LizzieW1969 · 18/07/2021 18:03

I’m afraid I agree with PPs that you brought this on yourself by getting the dog over excited. It bit you by accident when it was trying to buy the hose.

I’m not surprised that your DH isn’t overly sympathetic tbh.

warmfluffytowels · 18/07/2021 18:14

I think your DH is pissed off because the dog could easily have bitten DS and that could have been much, much worse.

Dog bites are nasty though so I hope you're okay. Probably a bit of a lesson learned for everyone, to be honest.

Mamanyt · 18/07/2021 18:18

AH...a bruised finger. In that case, the dog certainly let up AS SOON AS he realized that he had closed on your hand. Which is the best you can ask of an overly-excited animal. Yep, your fault. And, after making sure that your skin was not broken, and that you did not need medical attention, I'm not certain what you expected of your DH. I'd have been shocked and somewhat annoyed if my ex-H had hovered over me for such a slight injury and "Poor Baby'd" me to death.

I think, perhaps, your dog could use some professional training, so that you can better control him in situations like this...depending on his age. If he is under two years old, he's still (mentally) a puppy, and you can only ask so much of him as such.

godmum56 · 18/07/2021 18:23

@Mamanyt

AH...a bruised finger. In that case, the dog certainly let up AS SOON AS he realized that he had closed on your hand. Which is the best you can ask of an overly-excited animal. Yep, your fault. And, after making sure that your skin was not broken, and that you did not need medical attention, I'm not certain what you expected of your DH. I'd have been shocked and somewhat annoyed if my ex-H had hovered over me for such a slight injury and "Poor Baby'd" me to death.

I think, perhaps, your dog could use some professional training, so that you can better control him in situations like this...depending on his age. If he is under two years old, he's still (mentally) a puppy, and you can only ask so much of him as such.

well I agree and disagree, its the owner who needs the training.
Darbs76 · 18/07/2021 18:23

Yes your fault and you need to be careful as you know the dog gets excited by the hose and nearly all dogs bite down on water from hoses. He wasn’t trying to bite you, but someone could be hurt. Including your son, probably why your husband is annoyed

godmum56 · 18/07/2021 18:24

[quote Anotherlovelybitofsquirrel]@3scape

Dogs aren't compatible with a normal family life

The old MN fave that I loathe but it's applicable here. Are you on glue?

FFS this thread has really brought some thick clueless dog hating dicks out of the woodwork! [/quote]
this absolutely

godmum56 · 18/07/2021 18:26

@GrandmasCat

Erm… if a dog is excitable and happy to bite it’s owner, you are guilty of not training properly.

But having to act in certain way to avoid your dog attacking is ridiculous, as excitable as the dog is, that is not a safe dog to have around.

Get you hand checked ASAP, find a dog behaviourist tomorrow morning. Your OH is an idiot. Fancy that, having to pussy foot around an aggressive dog in your own home.

it wasn't a bite and its not agressive. Do you not know anything about dogs?
3scape · 18/07/2021 18:30

@Anotherlovelybitofsquirrel Hmm wow. A gold star for fucked up conclusion jumping. Ds

TedMullins · 18/07/2021 18:30

Yeah I’m team DH. You said yourself the skin isn’t even broken so what exactly do you want him to check on you for? You wound the dog up, she nipped you, and then you kicked off and said you’re sick of her for something you did. If my partner spoke like that about my pet I’d be pissed off too. If the dog does things you don’t like it’s your responsibility to train them out of it.

Hankunamatata · 18/07/2021 18:38

You shouted and said you had enough of her. Does dh think you want to get rid of the dog?

Naunet · 18/07/2021 18:44

[quote GrandmasCat]@naunet, frankly, it does take quite a bit of bad training for a dog to bite its owner. The only kind of accident this can be described as is “an accident waiting to happen”

I would understand if it was just a nip but a proper bite? Feck no, even a dog know where the line is drawn.

I am not saying they need to rehome the dog or put him down but they certainly need to get the behaviour sorted before it happens again.[/quote]
Well it wasn’t an intentional bite, and seeing as it didn’t break the skin, it wasn’t a proper bite either. But yes, I agree with you re training.

1FootInTheRave · 18/07/2021 18:45

I think you were out of order.

I'd be raging mad if dh behaved with our dogs as you have done today.

Ontheblink · 18/07/2021 18:50

The dog needs to go, today it’s your hand, tomorrow it could be your newborn. Dogs are too unpredictable and all of those saying it is your fault are not thinking clearly

vodkaredbullgirl · 18/07/2021 18:51

Too many dramatic people on here.

Whiskycav · 18/07/2021 18:53

@Ontheblink

The dog needs to go, today it’s your hand, tomorrow it could be your newborn. Dogs are too unpredictable and all of those saying it is your fault are not thinking clearly
A newborn squirting a hose pipe everywhere?. Have you ever met a newborn?
Somanysocks · 18/07/2021 18:55

Overreaction. If you rough and tumble with a dog present they use their mouths as we use our hands you have only yourself to blame.

Nothing in your post sounds like this would escalate or kill anyone fgs.

Fhdfjiggvfhg · 18/07/2021 19:06

@BudrosBudrosGalli

People like you get good dogs put down. Rather than accept that you were responsible for winding it up when it snapped for the water, which very many very friendly dogs, you blame the poor dog. I'd be furious with you too and not be very sympathetic.
This!!! Something similar happened to my dog years ago and she was pts, I still feel upset that someone’s stupid behaviour caused the incident.
Myworldyourworld · 18/07/2021 19:07

So in a nut shell you were all playing with the hose. The dog was excited probably jumping for the water . You grabbed hose whilst dog jumping for the water. And because you stopped the water the dog caught you?

As for the cat poo. It's not great but it is a dog thing. To the dog it taste like food. The dog is not being sick on purpose..

Ontheblink · 18/07/2021 19:14

Whiskycav it’s not going to remain a newborn forever though will it? Ffs

ThinWomansBrain · 18/07/2021 19:15

yabu - for teasing the poor dog, and in front of your child so that he thinks its OK to do it too.
So child teases dog and gets bitten - I presume you'll fail to realise that's probably down to you at well?
Grow up - people like you shouldn't be allowed to own dogs.
And as for sulking like a two year old because your partner is pissed off and hasn't made you the centre of attention - why on earth should he?

DeflatedGinDrinker · 18/07/2021 19:16

Yabu train your bloody dog.