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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Dog bit me, DH saying it is my own fault

191 replies

Toastedsesame · 18/07/2021 16:15

Playing in the garden with DS age 3 and DH. We were playing water balloons / water fight. I grabbed hose without thinking and started spraying DH, then my DS had s go, by this point our (usually well behaved) dog was getting wound up and leaping at the hose. I saw her leap close to DS with jaws open so I grabbed hose from him to turn it off and the dog leapt at me and bit my hand. It felt like my whole hand went in her mouth and she bit down hard on one of my fingers. I was annoyed and shouted that I was pissed off with the dog and that I've had enough of her (just a few things lately, like eating cat poo and puking it inside, barking at nothing in the night and waking us all up) I'm 25 weeks pregnant so a bit moody and sensitive. ALSO it could have been DS's hand so I was in shock.

DH is now in a mood, saying I know what happens when the hose is sprayed and than it is my fault for being silly - I accept that, it is. But since he hasn't been over to check I'm actually ok or said anything to me, just taken DS inside to watch a film.

Yes the dog has form for being excitable and I should have known but wtf why is he being such a dick about this?

OP posts:
AnUnoriginalUsername · 18/07/2021 16:33

Sounds like your DH is mad at you for winding the dog up then putting yourself and your son in the way. When DH is messing about with our dog and she kicks him in the balls he gets no sympathy from me.
You put your dog in a position of seriously injuring a child and that would have had serious consequences for them both.

Powertothepetal · 18/07/2021 16:35

I’ll buck the trend. I wouldn’t be happy
I think your average family pet should be able to withstand a water fight or a hose being on without biting someone
This is my opinion also.

NiceTwin · 18/07/2021 16:37

If you can't keep you or your ds safe from the dog whilst playing, you need to shut the dog away.
It is unfair to wind the dog up much that it bites.

Lougle · 18/07/2021 16:40

@summersflowers

I’ll buck the trend. I wouldn’t be happy.

I think your average family pet should be able to withstand a water fight or a hose being on without biting someone.

The dog didn't bite the OP deliberately. He bit the OP, trying to get to the hose. It was an accident.

My dog hates hoses and stays well away when it's on, but it he did go for the hose and bit me, it would definitely be my fault.

AlternativePerspective · 18/07/2021 16:41

It was your fault.

The dog was playing and you were winding it up when you knew that the hose winds it up.

If my partner was winding up my dog to the extent he accidentally got bitten he wouldn’t be getting much sympathy from me either.

For people telling the OP to get rid of the dog. all dogs can be wound up to over excitement in the right circumstances. Just because a dog grabs at a hose and ends up grabbing the hand of the person doing the winding up instead doesn’t make it an out of control vicious monster. But of course the anti dog brigade will be along shortly to tell the OP that she has a dangerous dog and needs to see a behaviourist or have the dog rehomed/put to sleep.

summersflowers · 18/07/2021 16:44

@Lougle I’m not saying this for picky purposes but yes the dog did mean to bite.

You mean he didn’t mean to bite a human, fair enough.

But part of having very young children is that they will sometimes be silly (I don’t actually personally think having a hose on on a hot day is actually) and I wouldn’t be happy about having that level of unpredictability around my child.

Wakeupin2022 · 18/07/2021 16:44

For people telling the OP to get rid of the dog.alldogs can be wound up to over excitement in the right circumstances. Just because a dog grabs at a hose and ends up grabbing the hand of the person doing the winding up instead doesn’t make it an out of control vicious monster. But of course the anti dog brigade will be along shortly to tell the OP that she has a dangerous dog and needs to see a behaviourist or have the dog rehomed/put to sleep.

And it's dog owners responsibility to ensure that the situation doesn't happen.

It is not fair on the dog and its not fair on the child and unborn baby.

beastlyslumber · 18/07/2021 16:46

But your husband was there too, involved in the game? Why isn't it partly his fault? Sounds like you're getting all the blame here when actually you were both responsible. Your husband is probably being off with you to justify himself taking no responsibility for his part in it.

summersflowers · 18/07/2021 16:46

I’m not necessarily saying to get rid of the dog but I don’t think that the DHs response is particularly fair or kind.

It’s a young family with a three year old and baby on the way. They absolutely should be able to have water fights and squeal and shout and be silly without thinking first someone might be bitten.

MarianneUnfaithful · 18/07/2021 16:47

Your DH is probably upset with you because winding the dog up with the hose put your Ds at risk. He is probably feeling shaken. I would be furious if my DH had done this.

You don’t need him to check up in you, you are an adult with a bruised finger, caused by an accident of your own making. Acknowledge that you didn’t think, it was an accident, and frightening because the fog could have done worse when Ds had the hose.

Then have a very serious calm conversation about how you manage the dog within Your family in order to make sure that your child is never at risk again.

BusterGonad · 18/07/2021 16:47

I agree that if it's a family dog it needs to learn to control itself a bit. It's not like the op was teasing the dog relentlessly. There's so many excuses for bad dog behaviour.

FootballisgoingtoRome · 18/07/2021 16:47

It’s your fault the dog was going for the hose not you and you noticed it was getting stressed and scared and continued

DancesWithTortoises · 18/07/2021 16:47

I prefer to think I'm not so much anti-dog as pro human, especially small ones.

They matter far more than dogs. I didn't say to get rid of the dog but a discussion needs to be had to make sure the dog is shut away when water play happens.

PattyPan · 18/07/2021 16:48

@summersflowers

I’ll buck the trend. I wouldn’t be happy.

I think your average family pet should be able to withstand a water fight or a hose being on without biting someone.

Totally agree
Floralnomad · 18/07/2021 16:48

As you said it was your fault so I’m not sure what you expect your husband to do , the skins not broken it’s a bruised finger , I wouldn’t expect someone to check on me / ask me if I was ok if I had a bruised finger .

summersflowers · 18/07/2021 16:49

I like dogs but it does seem every time there’s a dog biting thread on MN it is made into the fault or whoever the dog bit. This one is no different. Highs of 29 degrees and a pregnant woman and a toddler have a hose on and it’s All Their Fault Hmm

Naunet · 18/07/2021 16:50

@summersflowers

I’ll buck the trend. I wouldn’t be happy.

I think your average family pet should be able to withstand a water fight or a hose being on without biting someone.

It sounds like an accident though, not that the dog intentionally went for her hand. Accidents happen - I’ve stood on my poor dogs paws more times than I can remember, and she’s accidentally head butted me and broken my nose before - not everything is an act of aggression. Having said that, the humans involved here should be doing more to manage the dogs excitement in this situation.

All that aside though OP, I think it’s really off that your husband hasn’t at least asked you how you are.

elevenses75 · 18/07/2021 16:51

@summersflowers the dog wasn’t being unpredictable. The op knows her dog gets excited with the hose and continued to horse about whilst her dog was getting more and more excited, it is known the dog does this with the hose, therefore when the dog reacts why are people surprised.

My kids act silly and my dog is fine, if he wasn’t he’d be on lead or inside if they were messing outside, so when the hose is in, dog is inside until I’m done. I don’t want my dog over excited as he then finds it hard to listen to commands and if something happened because I’d put him un that kind of position I would blame myself.

Toastedsesame · 18/07/2021 16:52

@floralnomad really? Not even a "are you ok tho?" Just radio silence 🤔

OP posts:
Naunet · 18/07/2021 16:52

@summersflowers

I like dogs but it does seem every time there’s a dog biting thread on MN it is made into the fault or whoever the dog bit. This one is no different. Highs of 29 degrees and a pregnant woman and a toddler have a hose on and it’s All Their Fault Hmm
Because the vast majority of the time, it is the humans fault, we have the bigger brains, we’re meant to know better.
Inthemuckheap · 18/07/2021 16:53

Your fault - you wound the dog up by grabbing the hose and put your DC at risk (the DC of your DH as well). DH probably pissed at you. As there's no blood and just a bruise, not sure what you want him to do?

I think you need to go an apologise for being a dick

BusterGonad · 18/07/2021 16:55

I'd be pissed off too op if my husband didn't give a shit. I understand why you're upset.

Anotherlovelybitofsquirrel · 18/07/2021 16:57

You’re an owner. You need to act responsibly. The dog was over excited and you saw that, the dog was trying to grab the hose. It is your fault

Spot on. You actually sound like you don't like the poor dog. You don't sound very pleasant.

@Wakeupin2022 oh shhhh🙄

Magicpaintbrush · 18/07/2021 17:00

You should get that bite checked out, a lady died from sepsis recently from a dog bite, you can't be too careful.

www.google.com/amp/s/www.standard.co.uk/news/london/stacey-alexander-harriss-dies-dog-bite-coroner-sepsis-danger-covid-b935994.html%3famp

SameToo · 18/07/2021 17:01

Who’s dog is it? Yours, your DH, or bought jointly?