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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask for DD to be excused from this?

167 replies

TravellingSpoon · 18/07/2021 12:44

DD is in secondary school and this week they will be dissecting chicken wings, not a demonstration, each child is supposed to have their own and will do it as a whole class task.

DD is a vegetarian (her choice) and is really not happy about doing it and has asked that I ask for her to be excused from it, but is worried that she will be made to sit in isolation for that lesson which is a fate worse than death.

AIBU to ask for DD to be excused from the lesson?

OP posts:
NeverMetANiceOne · 18/07/2021 12:48

Just because she chooses not to eat mean, doesn't mean that she needs to pretend that animals don't exist.

DinosaurDiana · 18/07/2021 12:49

Yea she should be excused.

Mrsjayy · 18/07/2021 12:51

I think it is reasonable to ask for her to be excluded from this.

onceivepostedidontcomeback · 18/07/2021 12:51

Honestly I would rather sit in isolation than do that. Indeed when we were at school and it was frogs and bullseyes I refused to do it. I'm not vegetarian, just squeamish so not something I'd ever have a use to know how to do.

Original poster
TravellingSpoon · 18/07/2021 12:52

@NeverMetANiceOne

Just because she chooses not to eat mean, doesn't mean that she needs to pretend that animals don't exist.
She doesn't pretend they don't exist, she just doesn't want to cut up pieces of them.
OP posts:
Vallmo47 · 18/07/2021 12:52

Of course you should ask for her to be excused, it’s against everything she believes in. If they refuse she’d be feeling sick that day if it was my house ;)

Mrsjayy · 18/07/2021 12:53

She can sit and do other homework or something if it's in "isolation" then is it really a bad thing ?

Laserbird16 · 18/07/2021 12:54

Why not discuss it with her teacher.

I don't want to isn't a reason I could support as this an educational activity but surely there is an acceptable alternative. Why can't she observe? Could she draw and label a diagram. I'm sure the teacher would be happy to discuss

negomi90 · 18/07/2021 12:54

I'm a veggie and I would encourage her to be in the room for it, even if she doesn't want to touch the meat.
Not approving of something shouldn't stop you learning about it and there is so much learning from that.

MiddleParking · 18/07/2021 12:55

You were always allowed to opt out of this type of thing when I was at school and I left over ten years ago.

PersonaNonGarter · 18/07/2021 12:56

You don’t want to be the kind of person who doesn’t do this. She should be in the room at least.

It’s a bit ‘special, special’ not to take part in an actual science class.

updownroundandround · 18/07/2021 12:58

I'd be reluctant to force her to do this school exercise, but I'd also be wary.
Are any other kids going to be excused on Moral or Religious grounds ?
Could she perhaps talk to her RME teacher for support ?

It would be less 'isolating' for her if there are other kids who share the same values so they could talk to the teacher in a group ?

Biancadelrioisback · 18/07/2021 13:06

We dissected hearts and eyeballs at my school and those who were against it (religious reasons, beliefs etc) had to sit in isolated and study and label images of the body parts and be able to describe it. In an actual exam they won't be dissecting things so as long as they can accurately label things then that's good enough surely?

PattyPan · 18/07/2021 13:26

I would ask for her to be excused - maybe just check with her that she would be happy with isolation if that would be the alternative? When I was at school we dissected pigs’ eyes and a couple of vegetarians didn’t participate. I wasn’t veggie then so I did it but I can’t say I learnt anything from it! So skipping it would be totally fine IMO.

Yoshinori · 18/07/2021 13:27

At school, it is perfectly possible to be excluded from this.

At degree level etc, usually not do but at school completely fine.

FionnulaTheCooler · 18/07/2021 13:29

I'd ask for her to be excused but you're being rather over dramatic about her going to isolation for one lesson "being a fate worse than death" can she not sit quietly and read a book for an hour or so?

thatllberight · 18/07/2021 13:31

I was excused from dissection at high school back 15 or so years ago for the same reason. Very reasonable request.

a8mint · 18/07/2021 13:32

Even in the 1980s you could opt out

GreyhoundG1rl · 18/07/2021 13:33

Yes, I would. I'm not vegetarian and I couldn't bear to have to dissect a fecking chicken wing! 🤮
Frogs, fine. Chickens repulse me.

GreenTeaBlackCoffeeAndRedWine · 18/07/2021 13:33

I don't quite understand what you learn from it if you're never going to do it outside of school.

It's something you have to be comfortable with IMO so she should be excused.

WorraLiberty · 18/07/2021 13:37

Unless you've forgotten to tell us it's going to make her vomit her guts up, I see no reason why she shouldn't participate or at least observe.

SupermanWithTheGreyHair · 18/07/2021 13:38

I wouldn’t ask, just tell the school she won’t be doing it.

Chloemol · 18/07/2021 13:38

I take it she doesn’t want to be a vet? Or a doctor? They would cut animals/people up

Depends what they are supposed to get from the lesson

If she has to sit in isolation for that lesson then so be it, it’s the consequences she has chosen, she can do homework or whatever

anothermansmother · 18/07/2021 13:43

I teach science and always ask students if they want to opt out, or go out. Ive had a few vegan students this year done have opted to do it after initially saying they would watch or go into another classroom, the same applied to all dissection practicals.

warmfluffytowels · 18/07/2021 13:44

We were allowed to opt out of this fifteen years ago - it's a perfectly reasonable request imo.