To ask for DD to be excused from this?

[TravellingSpoon]

DD is in secondary school and this week they will be dissecting chicken wings, not a demonstration, each child is supposed to have their own and will do it as a whole class task.

DD is a vegetarian (her choice) and is really not happy about doing it and has asked that I ask for her to be excused from it, but is worried that she will be made to sit in isolation for that lesson which is a fate worse than death.

AIBU to ask for DD to be excused from the lesson?

in science we used to have a dead rat to dissect, i think, i can't remember seeing it myself
awful, but interesting.

I actually agree she should observe, just not be forced to physically take part.

Not if she doesn’t want to. My son and the rest that didn’t want to do it just sat at the back of the class except one child who chose to go to another classroom.
There’s no way my daughter would observe. She’d walk out if they made her.

@negomi90

I'm a veggie and I would encourage her to be in the room for it, even if she doesn't want to touch the meat. Not approving of something shouldn't stop you learning about it and there is so much learning from that.

agreed

At secondary level she should be able to make a case for herself based on her own values –no need for you to step in on her behalf.

Chicken wing or no chicken wing –there's a lesson available here in negotiation and building a solid argument for something.

I'd tell her to have a conversation with the teacher and make her case.

The choice of dissection or isolation is a total non-issue –especially since she THINKS it'll be isolation. Doesn't sound like the conversation has been had and therefore it's all speculation anyway.

@SupermanWithTheGreyHair

I actually agree she should observe, just not be forced to physically take part.

Not if she doesn’t want to. My son and the rest that didn’t want to do it just sat at the back of the class except one child who chose to go to another classroom.
There’s no way my daughter would observe. She’d walk out if they made her.

Fair enough. I would be fine with observing, not having to actually touch. But we're all different.

The school will definitely have an opt out, just contact them

My answer with stuff like this is that my kids need to speak to the teacher themselves. If she's old enough to do this prac she's old enough to discuss it with the teacher.

Lol. I wouldn’t be risking this. Although most teachers are great, I have known a food tech teacher who tried to make a vegetarian child prepare and cook meat...🙄....the same one who tried to tell another child that they should prepare and cook the food they were allergic too. So I always speak to teachers myself on issues like this.

As long as she is making an informed decision, being veggie/vegan does restrict job and leisure options, obviously.

How so?

@SupermanWithTheGreyHair

My answer with stuff like this is that my kids need to speak to the teacher themselves. If she's old enough to do this prac she's old enough to discuss it with the teacher.

Lol. I wouldn’t be risking this. Although most teachers are great, I have known a food tech teacher who tried to make a vegetarian child prepare and cook meat...🙄....the same one who tried to tell another child that they should prepare and cook the food they were allergic too. So I always speak to teachers myself on issues like this.

In secondary school? Sorry but your kids should be able to assert themselves from age 12 upwards. You shouldn't need to intervene.

Sorry but your kids should be able to assert themselves from age 12 upwards. You shouldn't need to intervene.

One incident was my child, one a friends child. Yes secondary. Both kids did assert themselves. Notice how I said the teacher ‘tried’.... she failed because the kids refused to do what she was trying to make them do. I’ve met the teacher, absolute bitch, but I can see how intimidating she is could be to children who are told to respect their teachers.

So she spends lesson in isolation. Where else could she go to be properly supervised?

Can't your dd ask?

Dad had to take a fish in to dissect and the veggies/vegans didn't do it but has to learn the theory. (I think that the point was to look at parts like the gills so they could see how fish breathe )

@AlexaShutUp

As long as she is making an informed decision, being veggie/vegan does restrict job and leisure options, obviously.

How so?

anywhere that serves sells supplies meats ... perhaps ?

So she spends lesson in isolation. Where else could she go to be properly supervised?

In my child’s school, kids who can’t attend PE due to an injury, go to a pastoral room, this may be an option.
If isolation is the only option though, she’ll have to accept that if she doesn’t want to do the lesson.

(I think that the point was to look at parts like the gills so they could see how fish breathe )

I just find that so unnecessary. At GCSE level the amount of detail about this is very little. It can definitely be learnt from a book.

She isn't being asked to eat the thing, though, is she? She's going to learn about its structure by dissecting it.

She could watch a video, but she wouldn't learn half as much. I expect she'll have gloves, mask and goggles provided.

Do you think vegetarian med students are excused practical anatomy sessions?

Time for her to be a bit less precious and a bit more brave and amazing. Please don't be "that" parent. It's nearly the end of term and every teacher in the country will be running on empty through sheer grit.

In my day it was a beef heart and an entire frog, so she's getting off lightly.

Will you ask for her to excused from every dissection?

We did a chicken wing, an eyeball, a fish, lamb lungs, a pig foetus and something else… or that’s all the ones I can remember! I hated doing most of them; have never liked the feel of meat, I hate eyes and fish make me feel sick, but I learned loads from them.

I just find that so unnecessary. At GCSE level the amount of detail about this is very little. It can definitely be learnt from a book.

You could (and some parents do) say that about every single bit of every subject. No school trip or practical activity is 'necessary', they are about teaching kids a range of skill and building resilience and independence.

Time for her to be a bit less precious and a bit more brave and amazing. Please don't be "that" parent

I've reported that post for deletion as it's not in the spirit of the site :-)

We had to dissect a rat in biology once. A friend sat out of the practical exercise, but completed written work that complimented that is using technical diagrams. Funnily enough she is a biology lecturer now so it’s not impacted her job or career choices. It was certainly a learning experience for me, I learned that preserved rats are bright yellow, fucking stink and after 10 minutes of trying to cut into one I will faint and need to go to hospital after splitting my head open. Could have learned what I needed to without being subjected to it tbh.

I did a biology degree and never needed to take part in dissection. I was vegetarian and chose my course based on Universities and modules I could
opt for where animal testing/dissection etc weren't carried out. I would be very surprised if there was a problem with her abstaining at school.

anywhere that serves sells supplies meats ... perhaps ?

Being vegan/vegetarian doesn't stop you from working in those places, though. You might choose not to work in them, but your choice is no more restricted than anyone else's.

DD has grown up vegetarian and increasingly chooses vegan options for herself, but she handles meat at work. As long as she doesn't have to eat it, she doesn't really care if other people do and she doesn't mind cooking it for them. She can't afford to be squeamish tbh as she is aspiring to a career in medicine.

Unlike her mother who threw up in school when forced to dissect a sheep's eye.

Do you think vegetarian med students are excused practical anatomy sessions?

What a silly comment. I think people who object to it, don’t do medicine. 🤷🏻‍♀️ She’s doing her GCSEs, not a degree in medicine.

preserved rats are bright yellow.

@AlexaShutUp

As long as she is making an informed decision, being veggie/vegan does restrict job and leisure options, obviously.

How so?

In quite obvious ways. From restaurant choices to professions. It's not rocket science. As long as DD is informed and is making a choice based on full information then, like everyone else, she will be able to navigate them all.