Little girl in beautiful dress scolded for jumping up and down.

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They were at the bus stop. She was about 5 It was a beautiful white dress with embroidery, and matching shoes She had a carton of juice, and was told off for a little skip of pleasure at the sight of their bus coming, in case the juice splashed on her dress or her shoes. Brother that looked the same age, maybe twins, or just very small age gap, in dark clothes and trainers, also drinking a carton of juice with a straw, leaping up and down like a show jumper, without attracting comment.

WIBU to say something?

I despise people who judge others for telling off their children (unless they are physically or verbally abusing them obviously). You don't know what led to that point. I had a woman attempt to say something to me when I shouted at my eldest for something that may have seemed petty at the time but he'd pushed my buttons all day and it was the straw that broke the camels back.

Someone also tutted at me for walking away from my tantrumming toddler (classic walk away and she'll get up and follow). I did go a bit fish wife on her I must admit

Mind your business!

@LynetteScavo

What would you even had said to the parent?

Unless the children had chosen their own clothes there was sexism going on here- just like there is in schools with specific uniform requirements up and down the country.

But you know nothing of why the children were dressed as they were and would have been very unreasonable to comment on someone else's parenting, which for all you know could have been very reasonable.

Maybe the girl had begged to wear the dress and had been warned if she did she needed to be very careful not to get it grubby. Why should a random have to explain that to you?

Girls wearing dresses isn't sexism. Doesn't matter if the mother chose a dress, that's ridiculous. And the child may well have chosen it them self

The only instance the parent would be wrong is if she's the kind who dress their kids in flashy outfits all the time, which restrict their play.

What is the point of this post?

To illustrate the huge injustices of the world, of which, a mother telling off a daughter for possibly spilling juice on her nice dress is one.

The world is a much worse place for spilt juice. You may talk of racism, sexism, genocide, starvation, but let not spilt juice be overlooked.

If you have been affected by spilt juice on a nice dress and would like to talk about it. Call 0800-JumpingJuice.

The reason I described the little girl as giving a small half skip and the brother leaping around us because the girl gave a tiny half skip. -and the brother was leaping around. He was jumping higher and faster and constantly, moving more than 29x more than the girl was

And no, they weren’t going anywhere special. I stood at the bus stop for some minutes with them. Enough to hearThey were just on their way home from shopping at the same supermarket I had been shopping in

You seem to have studied this family a lot.

Top Tip - start collecting car registration numbers when you're at bus stops instead.

I would not have said anything if I were there. So yes right to leave it. We only get a snap shot of people's lives at any one point I time. In the grand scheme of things it's very minor.

However, like you I would have noticed the same and had the same thoughts. To me it is blatant sexism.

Girls = pretty dress, look pretty, don't get dirty

Boys = doesn't matter what you wear as you'll be too busy being a boy and getting all mucky.

It reminds me of the Clark's shoe advert. A girl is pretty dainty little shoes sitting quietly and a boy climbing logs covered in much wearing shoes for playing. From memory they had so many complaints about this they had to remove it.

Covered in mud not much that was meant to read!

@nimbuscloud

Maybe she’s messier Maybe she begged to wear a white dress

My daughter does this. wants to wear her nice clothes to a monster truck rally.

she is the wheel

However, like you I would have noticed the same and had the same thoughts. To me it is blatant sexism.

So a mother admonishing her daughter, but seemingly not her son is sexism...
But a woman posting her observation of this in a mother, and not countless other examples that might be seen in a father, is not sexism?

You could stand on most high streets for 10 minutes and observe a fair few instances of sexism, so why post this one?

....

Or it's just a mother admonishing her daughter. Not because it's sexist, but because she posed the biggest threat to making a mess of her clothing. Had it been another day and her son scuffing his shoes, he might have been shouted at.
Do you countenance even the vague possibility that no sexism was involved? It would appear not, as you deemed this to be blatant.

My perspective of what was described is that is was sexism. Yes it may not be and yes you're right there are many many other examples of fathers as well as mothers, I am not sure how that is relevant here is they were with their mother. Are you implying that the OP would not have had the same thought if the children were with their father?

@VerticalHorizon

My God

There is nothing idiotic about making a child aware of the consequences of messing about whilst having a drink. It would be the same at a bus stop, or at a party. Children messing about whilst eating food or drinking is likely to end up in spillage... and on nice clothing, it's all the more important to avoid it.

Only an idiot would fail to recognise that!

The weather's been incredibly hot. It's not ridiculous to give a child a drink, regardless of that they are wearing. Asking for them to drink it sensibly is the valid thing to do, and she did.

So why only the girl?

For all anyone here knows, the boy begged to be allowed to wear a pretty dress like his sister, and the mum wouldn't let him because he's not a girl. If we're going to go around inventing examples of sexism, let's at least be thorough!

So why only the girl?
Because at the time of posting, the OP didn't give the full story...

The girl was skipping, wearing white, and boy jumping wearing dark...
the girl was drinking whilst skipping and the mother admonished her for the potential of spillage on her dress.

Seems a pretty logical thing. As I said, had the boy been wearing an expensive watch, but the girl not doing so, and he's been banging around, she might have shouted at him.

It seems pretty clear a white dress would show any spillage and the mother addressed that immediate concern. There doesn't have to be some ulterior sexism involved, she just worried about the dress staining.

Of course, now the OP's elaborated a little more, and it's turned into a full 10 minute observation...

No one is inventing examples of sexism. It's a real problem and it's starts as a mum of a girl and boy the way people treat my 2 is staggering in it's sexism. It's everywhere, all around us and until people wake up and see it for what it is nothing will change in the society we live in. We are seeing the consequences of early sexism already in secondary schools, issues of consent, boys asking for naked photos of girls, abs girls sending them!! The list goes on and on. The sexism around us can be very nuanced but it's there all the bloody time.

@WorraLiberty

Thanks *@VerticalHorizon*. I honestly think if everyone sent me a tenner it'd help calm me down

Can you send me your paypal details?

I well I guess there are 2 assumptions that people can make. Either it's sexism and the boy has been treated differently to the girl or it's about keeping white clothes clean and letting dark clothes get dirty. At the end of the day none of us will ever know what was at the root of it.

Absolutely sexism is all around us, but it's not in every decision made JUST because it's a girl.
We are discussing the case of a lady who none of us know, in incident to which none of us were witness, and yet we're labelling her behaviour as sexist, even in the light of plenty of valid reasons for her decision.

Is the actual observation sexist? As I've said, there are countless examples of sexism on most streets - why choose the mother?
If you're going to argue that the mother's choice of choosing to admonish her daughter (instead of the son) is sexism, then surely, the choice to illustrate the mother's actions against countless possible examples of male sexism is also sexist?

@marmaladehound

No one is inventing examples of sexism. It's a real problem and it's starts as a mum of a girl and boy the way people treat my 2 is staggering in it's sexism. It's everywhere, all around us and until people wake up and see it for what it is nothing will change in the society we live in. We are seeing the consequences of early sexism already in secondary schools, issues of consent, boys asking for naked photos of girls, abs girls sending them!! The list goes on and on. The sexism around us can be very nuanced but it's there all the bloody time.

This is my feeling exactly.

Girls arrive in secondary school already deeply steeped in such sexist stereotyping already, and the damage is often irreversible

@VerticalHorizon

Absolutely sexism is all around us, but it's not in every decision made JUST because it's a girl. We are discussing the case of a lady who none of us know, in incident to which none of us were witness, and yet we're labelling her behaviour as sexist, even in the light of plenty of valid reasons for her decision.

Is the actual observation sexist? As I've said, there are countless examples of sexism on most streets - why choose the mother?
If you're going to argue that the mother's choice of choosing to admonish her daughter (instead of the son) is sexism, then surely, the choice to illustrate the mother's actions against countless possible examples of male sexism is also sexist?

There was no fathers at the bus stop. There were no fathers with children on the bus either

There was no fathers at the bus stop. There were no fathers with children on the bus either
I think you missed the point. It wasn't that other fathers might be at the bus stop, it was that there will be countless examples of male sexism on almost all high streets, or certainly throughout your week... why choose this one to illustrate?

You've accused a woman of sexism for choosing a daughter over a son, why not apply the same to your choice, of choosing a mother over a father?
Have you genuinely seen no fatherly sexism this week, this month?

Ive seen little girls at the playground told not to mess their pretty dresses. Don't fucking buy them stuff they can't function in. You're the adult. I get so angry when I see it

Taking a child to a playground where they cannot reasonably play in their clothing is clearly silly parenting.

This isn't the case here though. It's asking a child to drink sensibly in order not to spill it on her dress (and potentially ruin it).

Two vastly different scenarios.

@VerticalHorizon

There was no fathers at the bus stop. There were no fathers with children on the bus either I think you missed the point. It wasn't that other fathers might be at the bus stop, it was that there will be countless examples of male sexism on almost all high streets, or certainly throughout your week... why choose this one to illustrate?

You've accused a woman of sexism for choosing a daughter over a son, why not apply the same to your choice, of choosing a mother over a father?
Have you genuinely seen no fatherly sexism this week, this month?

No I haven t, but even if I had, this is the incident I wanted a discussion about