Do Not Give Me Flowers or Chocolates

[itsnotmeitsu]

Am I being AIBU when this happens and I think, not again? Flowers I have to arrange in a vase, and takes time, and chocolate - just not a big fan. It's worse when the flowers are sympathy for something horrible, because I feel obliged to deal with them whilst grieving.

I'd far rather have a brief note sent to me referencing what's happened and showing empathy.

I feel the same

I’d rather someone buys a plant if it has to be something floral so I don’t have to watch it die in front of me too

I love flowers for all occasions. They make me feel happy just being near them.

Flowers are a pain in the arse. I never buy them for myself and begrudge receiving them.

Chocolate is always welcome though. I know it's MN heresy but I don't think chocolate tastes different to how it used to and Cadbury's etc are all fine. So I'm easily pleased in that department!

@Merryoldgoat > I love flowers, but cut ones are already dead. The living ones do lift my heart .

We all like different things, don't we. I love it when my DH or a close friend gives me flowers, whether its an elaborate arrangement or a mini rose in a pot, I'm happy.

I love a bunch of cut flowers they'll brighten a room. My friends father passed away recently I sent flowers.
I thought the people who bought me flowers when DM died were really kind, each to their own.

I agree. What a bore.

Sorry op! I think you are being ur.

I've had some really sudden and tragic losses that I'll never get over and I still remember the flowers I was sent. They really lifted me and I really appreciated it... And I also adore chocs...

I wish I was given flowers more and I'm grateful people cared enough about me to think about of me.. I'm getting older now and friends, drop away, move away etc.....

I've been very very touched by the people who got me flowers at such a sad time.

Flowers are just a waste of money to me. Much rather have chocolate

People can buy me flowers and chocolate whenever they want!

I love flowers. Chocolate is of no interest to me, just gets regifted or sits in a cupboard for a couple of years until I throw it away

I love cut flowers, every payday I buy myself a massive bunch from a lovely sustainable florist and they make me so happy.

Each to their own though, of course YANBU for not liking things! Especially grief flowers

YANBU to have preferences, of course

YABabitU to not see beyond the actual flowers / chocolates to the fact that someone cares & has thought of you.

Personally, l love both but more so, that someone cared enough to make that effort.

Regarding 'grief flowers' I think that's quite mean. I don't send flowers myself in that situation but really, how hard is it to take flowers & put them in a vase? No arranging is needed. I would personally be appreciative & love to have them to look at, especially when sad, but like a PP, I love cut flowers.

Would much rather a plant or cheese.

@MrsSkylerWhite

Would much rather a plant or cheese.

It's funny isn't it? I would be baffled at getting cheese - don't really eat it - and it would most likely get thrown out.

Ditto plants - just not my thing.

I guess we have to hope those kind people giving us gifts know us & our preferences well!

I love flowers. I'm not fussed about chocolate, and need to lose some weight anyway.

Yes! Flowers are an obligation. Same with houseplants. I do love having flowers in the house though, so my husband knows if he buys me flowers he has to arrange them too.

Not big on chocolate and rather have a flower plant than cut flowers otherwise the cut flowers become potpourri thanks to my young sons.

I love both.

But can I just say, to all those working in childcare settings, that if a child's mother is diagnosed with cancer, it is NOT a lovely idea to send the setting's Bear, pus book, home with the child?

I was on an online support group for younger cancer patients when that happened to me, and SO MANY OF US had had that experience. One said she was really tempted to post photos of the Bear sitting with Mummy as she recovered from having a breast removed - "We could have shared some lovely Fentanyl last week, but now it's just Tramadol!" Another arrayed the child's own teddies (the bear up close with one lucky purple narwhal) with lots of glasses and gin bottles. She'd then put a photo in the book saying how much Teddy had enjoyed making new friends. A small child anticipating what glories they could boast of in the bloody book... it's just an extra chore, at a time when you are in a whirlwind of managing practicalities alongside truly horrific news. Please, just don't. Think how much planning and care needs to go into sorting tiny children out, at short notice, when a parent is facing surgery and chemo and radiotherapy, and ask yourself: is this the right moment to put anything more on them? So cease. Desist! And here endeth the rant.

Chocolates and flowers though? Always acceptable!

I'll take flowers and chocolates all day long; love them both and love that someone has taken the time to send something. Also : wine is equally acceptable for all occasions.

@MrsSkylerWhite

Would much rather a plant or cheese.

Cheese? That's just taking the biscuit :)

I can’t stand bloody flowers. They stink and they make me sneeze. People know better than to buy them for me.

Wine, however, is a more than acceptable gift. 🥂

If it’s for a new baby or a bereavement I only ever send flowers in a vase.

I love flowers, I'd be over the moon if someone bought me them.

I feel similar OP and usually know which of my friends love flowers and which don’t and wish more people did! Same with scented candles which I always rehome as don’t use them.
I do appreciate the kindness so it’s always a lovely thing regardless but like you they don’t give me the thrill some of my friends might get from a lovely bunch .
I do love a few flowers from the garden in a jar though! As no plastic and something simple about it