Do Not Give Me Flowers or Chocolates

[itsnotmeitsu]

Am I being AIBU when this happens and I think, not again? Flowers I have to arrange in a vase, and takes time, and chocolate - just not a big fan. It's worse when the flowers are sympathy for something horrible, because I feel obliged to deal with them whilst grieving.

I'd far rather have a brief note sent to me referencing what's happened and showing empathy.

I love flowers and chocolate, but really don’t like plants or seeds as I’m terrible with them and can’t seem to keep anything alive for long. And I don’t drink much so bottles of bubbly tend to sit on the side and gather dust. But that’s not the point, is it? I always appreciate gifts because it’s the thought behind them that counts.

I also hate cut flowers, the gift that slowly rots away.

I'm not a big fan of chocolate gifts since I'm diabetic but I do snaffle them down and feel guilty afterwards.

I'm also tee total so no wine or prosecco either!

I feel guilty for not liking those things and feel really bad for the money wasted on flowers.

I do, of course, appreciate the sentiment behind gifts and always say thanks to people who buy them for me.

I know I'm coming across as a miserable cow here but I am genuinely happy without gifts. If you want to buy something generic then a bookmark or nice notebook makes a nice change.

I love getting flowers, but yanbu for feeling differently. If it’s someone close to you giving you them just mention it. I wouldn’t be offended if someone said that to me.

Agreed. I’m not a fan of trying to keep cut flowers alive. Particularly when grieving.

Love flowers and chocolate, would buy them for myself. Love wine too 😆

@ImbarbaraB

I feel the same

I’d rather someone buys a plant if it has to be something floral so I don’t have to watch it die in front of me too

I never understand it when people say this. Flowers die even when they are growing outside, they are by nature, transitory things.

@Mansplainee

People can buy me flowers and chocolate whenever they want!

Yep me too. Whatever happened to ‘it’s the thought that counts’.

I agree with Captain flowers die even when outside. I cut my own flowers from my garden, I grow them to have around me so whether that is in the house of garden is irrelevant. If people stuying buying cut flowers, growers would stop growing them, they wouldn't stay in the fields, the fields would be devoid of flowers!

@CaptainMyCaptain that’s not exactly true though

Buy a £30-40 bunch of flowers, they last a week, 2 weeks tops.

Buy a £20 rose plant and it goes in the ground and grows for years, it produces enough blooms that you can cut those abs bring them inside throughout the summer.
A plant is a living thing that will continue to love and generate flowers for a vase if that’s what people like

OK but if someone said that to me that way you've said in your Title you'd get nothing again not even a kind word.

What is it with ingratitude these days. No one can say it is the thought that counts

I love to receive a bunch of Lillie's and most chocolate as long as no nuts. I am easily pleased. I don't see like to receive perfume unless my 2 favourites as that is all I wear.

One issue is that you may get multiple flowers! Which is even more pointless.

I don't mind flowers as a gift but having just announced some big news, I have been told that gifts are arriving from a few people. If they are all flowers well that's nice but they will all feel a bit daft when I put 3-4 pictures up of them on social media to say thanks. So that's awkward. Hopefully some are say drink or chocolates for variety.

Me and ex recently split. But he was always buying flowers he looked so proud of himself. I don't even have a vase . He gives them to me them they just sit there for a few hours then he decides to go andarrange them but cutting a plastic bottle in half

But generally I don't like getting flowers. If he does not arrange them then it's left to me. Just feels like another thing I need to do. Along with all the other stuff and stresses I have. Would rather he bought a packet of socks. Can never have ti many socks

Flowers are a sign of a good intention whether you love them or not; chocs are similar. Can’t you just be grateful that someone has taken the time and expense to think of you. So what do you do when you want to show that you are thinking of someone?

Is it n not that someone thought about you,took the time to choose,pay,and then bring them?
Such negativity will rebound on you op,be very careful what you wish for.🌈

When I first came across these threads, and they pop up regularly, about hating flowers I was surprised.
I've never come across anyone in real life who hates flowers.
I personally LOVE them. I buy them every a week without fail. Dh buys them for me too mostly from Aldi but also from a wonderful florist I love. Those ones really really make me happy & I love to look at them.

Right now we have 2 large jugs full of the most absolutely gorgeous summer blooms - peonies, agapahthus, stock, roses in shades of pink & purple. All from Aldi.

We have one on the kitchen table & one in the sitting room. Every time I see them they lift my heart

We also have loads of flowers growing in the garden & I cut them for the house too - sweet pea, lupins, acqulegia, hydrangea, delphinium, large daisy etc

House plants I am not so interested in & I am slowly unintentionally killing 2 orchids

I love receiving flowers ...

I have no vases, and I can look at flowers in my garden or out walking, don't want the trouble or the environmental cost. Chocolate, I do like but I can buy my own, I only like it extremely dark so rarely am I given chocolate I like.

I'd take flowers and chocolate in place of fecking processo any day.
Each to their own.

@PeonyTime

I'd take flowers and chocolate in place of fecking processo any day. Each to their own.

Oh yes....prosecco. vile stuff. People rave as if it is some kind of liquid gold. It's poor man's champagne.

Until this thread I never heard of people hating flowers. A real eye opener.

I get being miffed if gifted flowers/chocolates from a close family member for a birthday or Christmas gift, but I think it's unreasonable to be annoyed at getting sympathy flowers- they are symbolic and are given to show sympathy for your loss and the death of someone you loved, they aren't a present as such.

I hate being given flowers. I’ve met so many women in east Africa left disabled by the chemicals they came into contact with in the flower trade

The flower trade is utterly vile

And even if it wasn’t, who wants

To show I was thinking of someone my first go to would be arranging to meet them for a walk/ coffee/ drop around some food. If I knew they liked flowers I would send flowers. Or draw a card maybe. I would obviously never say to anyone other than close family members and all of you folks that I don't like them. It is harder now I am trying to lose weight as I do genuinely love chocolate but I don't want to eat it unnecessarily.

I don't understand people who say they don't want to watch the flowers die either. They must get really stressed out by the seasons.