How do I find out her name?

[sillysituation]

In the grand scheme of life this isn't a major problem. But it's a little embarrassing.

We moved house in April last year so have been here a little over a year. The next door neighbour introduced herself in the first few weeks and was so lovely and friendly. She obviously would have told me her name at that point. Anyway, I've forgotten it 🙈

It's more and more awkward with each conversation. We see each other a lot and chat over the garden fence. I had a baby earlier this year and she was so interested in my pregnancy asking for updates on baby's arrival etc, and coos over baby every time I'm outside with her. Basically, I feel as though I have developed quite a lovely friendship with my neighbour over the past year or so. But I have no clue what her name is 😂

And now it feels like it's gone too far for me to ask, if that makes sense? If someone you'd been chatting to for the best part of a year suddenly said "sorry, what's your name again?" you'd be pretty offended right?

My question is ... how the hell do I find out her name without offending her?!

When we moved in 20 odd years ago I got friendly with my new neighbours, Michael and "Maureen". A few years later they split up, and she moved out, but was still local and I bumped into her a few times. They both remarried and they stayed on amicable terms with each other. sadly Michael died a year ago and i went to the funeral. Another guest, not knowing how long I'd been Michael's neighbour, didn't realise I knew him during his first marriage and politely introduced me to "Michael's first wife, Pauline"!! Twenty years I'd known her. I can't think how many times I've addressed her as Maureen, and she never corrected me.
Don't leave it 20 years to find out your neighbour's name, OP!

LTB

@BarleyMop

Get a good disguise, with glasses and a moustache. Knock on the door to conduct a made up survey which requires her name. Don’t forget to take a clipboard

😂😂

@Jaxhog

Just ask. I'm terrible with names, so have to do this all the time. Most people don't mind.

It's quite possible she's forgotten yours too!

She hasn't forgotten mine, she uses it regularly when she says hi to me.... Which makes me feel more ashamed!

Sorry op but think you may have to wait until Christmas and just write who it is from on bottom with top part blank. Hopefully she will send card back judging on how nice she sounds. Otherwise you could laugh and say you have 'baby brain'and were so tired wih pregnancy when she first told tou her name what was it again? Neighbour tells you then you say eee honestly I'd forget my head atm if it wasnt screwed on!

you*

@sillysituation

I had been at my current property for about 4 years before I started to properly remember the names of the people at numbers 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, and 8 (I am 7!) And also 9, 10, 11, and 12. (There are 12 properties in my little cul de sac, and it was about a year before I started to remembering even 2 or 3 of them!

Maybe you could go to the library and look at the electoral roll to see the name of the people who live next door!

Land Registry records if she owns her house.

Ask your postman

One of my DC has a name that can be spelt a different way which is also (to my ear) pronounced slightly differently. Several friends and my own dad spell it wrongly on birthday cards etc even though I always write it to them spelt correctly - and have done for nigh on 20 years now!

I always wonder if maybe they think that's how it should be spelt (which is annoying) but maybe it's a genuine mistake they keep repeating.

We have a neighbour we've known (not well) for 10 years. Every time we talk about her, DH and I struggle to remember her name. Don't know why, though it's not particularly common. We never forget her partner's name.

@frankienotbenny

When we moved in 20 odd years ago I got friendly with my new neighbours, Michael and "Maureen". A few years later they split up, and she moved out, but was still local and I bumped into her a few times. They both remarried and they stayed on amicable terms with each other. sadly Michael died a year ago and i went to the funeral. Another guest, not knowing how long I'd been Michael's neighbour, didn't realise I knew him during his first marriage and politely introduced me to "Michael's first wife, Pauline"!! Twenty years I'd known her. I can't think how many times I've addressed her as Maureen, and she never corrected me. Don't leave it 20 years to find out your neighbour's name, OP!

Oh god! This made me cringe and smile at the same time

Ask the postie

Ask the postman!

I had the same happen to me. Asked another neighbour and they told me my immediate neighbour’s name 😬

I used to work with a woman called Elizabeth. One of our colleagues always called her Margaret. She never corrected him. One day I asked her why he called her Margaret. She said she had no idea but it had been going on for years and she was too embarrassed to tell him her real name. Bonkers

Lots of stories of people being called the wrong name and being too polite to correct someone! I reckon if I just start calling her Pam she'll be too polite to say anything

Ask her to write her name on something that requires signing - card for a neighbour, surprise something or other for someone you both know.

This has made me laugh!

However, there are flaws to two of the ideas. If she txt you and you answer - who's this? she might say - it's me silly from next door!

Bugger, I can't remember the other one. Maybe a tad over invested in this

I had a similar panic with our neighbour - my husband was convinced he was called ‘Bob’ but DH is crap with names so I was cautious. And then the friendly Hermes guy asked me to take in a parcel for ‘ Paul at number 3’ i.e. Bob next door. So I then felt really embarrassed that we’d been getting his name wrong for months, which was awful as he’d been really kind, watering our plants and whatnot while we were away.

But: my (unembarrassed) DH asked him outright and it turns out that ‘Bob’ was right. His first name is actually Paul, but only on official letters.

So - the postman may not be reliable. Sorry

Oh my goodness, definitely don't ask her.

Sounds like her name is Sarah but I'd check it with the postman! Shame she never orders parcels you have to take in...that's the only way I've found out my neighbours' names LOL.

This happened to me with someone who moved 3 doors down and had a son the same age as my DDs but who went to a different primary school. I chatted a LOT to her over the 3 or 4 years she was here, then they moved a couple of months ago and I sent them a "Good Luck in your new home" card with only our names on it. It literally WAS too late to ask (and none of the other neighbours knew).

I'm the worst for forgetting names so I literally just say "I'm so sorry, can you tell me your name again?"

And I learned that the hard way when DH and I met another couple on holiday and I swore the man's name was Marco because I heard his partner call him that... No. She had an accent. His name was Michael. I found out on the last day.

I think I'd just ask her, and laugh at myself, to be honest.

'D'you want to hear something really funny? You told me your name AGES ago, and I've forgotten it!'

I doubt that her mood hinges on whether you've remembered her name, and if she holds it against you... well, really... who hasn't had this happen at one time or another?

Bake her a cake and give it to her when you tell her. She couldn't possibly hold it against you.

I have had a neighbour for three years, chat to her fairly often. She did tell me her name right at the beginning but I was very tired and brain fogged at the time and I instantly forgot.
Three years later I am still none the wiser. DH and I both have guesses but two different names.... so maybe neither of us is right.